Our Shadowed Evening

[jemmalynette]

Title: Our Shadowed Evening
Rating: PG 13
Characters: Charlie & Liam.
Warning: Involves mentions of drugs.
A/N: Yes, more angst. It’s uncontrollable! I don't mind though...For lostfichallenge "Inspired By..." 
Thanks

Comments

[sapphire_child]

Um...wow? Can't comment properly yet as am at bf's house but will definitely come back, re-read and comment on this later today hopefully.

WOW.

[sapphire_child]

I have to agree wholeheartedly with pacejunkie - this reads like poetry. It's dreamy and strange with just a knifes edge of darkness - perfect for the content.

I love the use of repeated lines to emphasise them (no one ever has to know / tell me all your secrets and I’ll tell you all of mine). Are they lyrics from the song? Because if they are then they blend in perfectly with the story itself which is a masterful thing to do.

I also loved the repeated references of the television. It's almost like they keep forgetting that it's there and then seeing or hearing it and being like "oh right - there's telly in here." it showsjust how preoccupied they are with their drugs and their conversation.

Somehow, you've managed to tell us a story about two rockstar brothers getting high off their brains and spilling their in such a unique way and with such imagination that the subject doesn't seem in the least bit tawdry. And I absolutely LOVED the ending:

Trying to forget about tomorrow when we would have to reveal ourselves to the world again. When

[jemmalynette]

Wow, thank you so much for your lovely review! I really wanted to get that dark and dreamy effect so I'm glad you picked that up!

Yeah, those lines were part of the song. I love them so I included them in the fic =] The lyrics are here: http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/undiscovered/houselights.htm I only found out about this song recently but it just inpsired me to write something like this.

So glad you liked the ending! Thanks again for reading and for the lovely comments!

[sapphire_child]

Definitely very dark and dreamy. They were the lyrics? Yay! I was right!

You're welcome! Thank you for a wonderful read =)

[jemmalynette]

Thank you! I actually am quite fond of this kind of writing, I am starting to like poetry more and more so I'm really happy you enjoyed this! Thanks again for reading and for reccing it!

[lostwitoutdom]

Like I said before, Jemma, it really is a great fic! Good Luck in the Contest! ;D

[jemmalynette]

Thanks again Morgan! ♥

[falafel_fiction]

Jemmz! This was bloody brilliant girl. Your most powerful fic to date I think. Your writing here is stunningly atmospheric and evocative. As a reader I found myself sinking into the Pace brothers apathy - the lazy muscles, the blurry vision, the buzz of the TV. One of the things I liked best is that I didn't know for sure if the "I" of the story was Charlie or Liam. It's like the heroin stripped them of their personalities.

Excellent work. Link this fic everywhere, it deserves a wide readership.

[jemmalynette]

Wow, thank you! That is one of the nicest comments I've ever gotten! Really happy you liked this! I was thinking of posting this elsewhere, I think I will now =] Thanks again!

[eponine119]

I love the style in which you've written this. It's unique, and very powerful.

[jemmalynette]

Thanks! I love this type of writing too. I shall have to write like this more often.