(no subject)
I miss being a little kid more than I ever thought I would. The song House on Pooh Corner came on the radio tonight as Mum and I were driving home from Dad's (I was already cranky and tired) and I just kinda lost it. I wanna be a little kid! I want to be a kid and I want to be a grown up. I know I could figure out how to be both but I can't be neither. If I had my own apartment I could figure things out for myself as I did when I was a kid. My imagination could be there to help me out. I HATE LIVING HERE!!!!!!
Every dollar that I make that doesn't go toward food and my Halloween costume is going into the moving funds. I. Need. To. Move. And if my mother doesn't get her butt out of here, then I will. I don't know how I'll break it to her, but I Will Move. Into my own space with my own life and my own everything and my own way of living and my own playtime and imagination and everything will be like it was when I was a kid except better. When I was little Mum was always asleep or at work and Dad was always working on something so I played by myself. I figured things out. But now Mommy's always there because now she's *happy* so she has time to fucking pay attention to how little I'm there and it doesn't work that way because now she's smothering me and I don't know how to tell her that because I love her. I need to be away from her because I'm too close right now. I'm not an adult and I'm not a child and I just need to be both.
In other news, I'm on my laptop in bed. It's actually not very comfortable. I'm laying on my stomach and the corner is digging into my wrist. Maybe I'll try sitting up or something. The point is, I'm online on in bed.
The song "Imagine" came on the radio one or two songs after the Pooh Corner song. That made everything better. I love John Lennon. Music from the sixties and seventies makes everything better. That's how these things work doncha know. John Lennon makes things better.
Every dollar that I make that doesn't go toward food and my Halloween costume is going into the moving funds. I. Need. To. Move. And if my mother doesn't get her butt out of here, then I will. I don't know how I'll break it to her, but I Will Move. Into my own space with my own life and my own everything and my own way of living and my own playtime and imagination and everything will be like it was when I was a kid except better. When I was little Mum was always asleep or at work and Dad was always working on something so I played by myself. I figured things out. But now Mommy's always there because now she's *happy* so she has time to fucking pay attention to how little I'm there and it doesn't work that way because now she's smothering me and I don't know how to tell her that because I love her. I need to be away from her because I'm too close right now. I'm not an adult and I'm not a child and I just need to be both.
In other news, I'm on my laptop in bed. It's actually not very comfortable. I'm laying on my stomach and the corner is digging into my wrist. Maybe I'll try sitting up or something. The point is, I'm online on in bed.
The song "Imagine" came on the radio one or two songs after the Pooh Corner song. That made everything better. I love John Lennon. Music from the sixties and seventies makes everything better. That's how these things work doncha know. John Lennon makes things better.