(no subject)
So, Tigard sucks almost as bad as Lake Oswego.
I'm so goddamn tired. I didn't do ANYTHING this morning except take a shower. I watched Fly Away Home, which I'd watched the first half of twice without finishing and it's already like, two weeks late back to Movie Madness. Then I slept for another two hours, after not getting up until 9. I'd wanted to do laundry and go shopping for cleaning supplies (not to mention bread, coffee, and hand soap), because my sink is STILL clogged and my toilet is seriously disgusting.
I need to get internet at my house. Really. I could pay for internet at my house three times over just by not getting lattes every day for my goddamn half hour of internet.
I was feeling so good after free pizza last night. Even though I'd had a crappy day, I was on top of the world, felt like nothing could tear me down. But this morning... ugh. Another one of those "please, just don't make me get out of bed" days.
The only thing that keeps me sane is talking to my mother. But I don't want to sap all her time, because the only times I can be with her are either late, after work, or during her work day. I wanna try and have lunch with her at least once or twice a week.
God dammit. Why can't I just be happy again? It is possible - I know it's possible. But I just can't make it happen. I wake up and it HURTS. I take a shower, and it HURTS. I listen to some music and I'm fine for a while - I'm happy. I watch a happy movie and I'm fine. But the moment its over, I HURT. At times I just don't do anything - I don't have the will power or motivation to move. I don't eat very much anymore because I feel sick half the time. The only food that tastes good anymore are Luna tea cakes and fruit.
Ok, so the turkey burger I had yesterday was really good. (New Season's variety, not Burger Ville.)
I also need to keep asking at Red Square. I know I'm probably bugging them to shit, but god dammit, if I worked a morning shift at a hippie trendy coffee shop, I would be SO happy.
God. Listen to me. I tried that already, and I wasn't any happier, was I? Well... no, the morning shift was awesome. Stressful, but awesome. And Papaccino's was busier and bigger than this place. It was only once I got shunted off to closing shift that it started sucking so hardcore.
I turn into a prick when I get depressed, by the way. I just stop caring.
I'm so goddamn tired. I didn't do ANYTHING this morning except take a shower. I watched Fly Away Home, which I'd watched the first half of twice without finishing and it's already like, two weeks late back to Movie Madness. Then I slept for another two hours, after not getting up until 9. I'd wanted to do laundry and go shopping for cleaning supplies (not to mention bread, coffee, and hand soap), because my sink is STILL clogged and my toilet is seriously disgusting.
I need to get internet at my house. Really. I could pay for internet at my house three times over just by not getting lattes every day for my goddamn half hour of internet.
I was feeling so good after free pizza last night. Even though I'd had a crappy day, I was on top of the world, felt like nothing could tear me down. But this morning... ugh. Another one of those "please, just don't make me get out of bed" days.
The only thing that keeps me sane is talking to my mother. But I don't want to sap all her time, because the only times I can be with her are either late, after work, or during her work day. I wanna try and have lunch with her at least once or twice a week.
God dammit. Why can't I just be happy again? It is possible - I know it's possible. But I just can't make it happen. I wake up and it HURTS. I take a shower, and it HURTS. I listen to some music and I'm fine for a while - I'm happy. I watch a happy movie and I'm fine. But the moment its over, I HURT. At times I just don't do anything - I don't have the will power or motivation to move. I don't eat very much anymore because I feel sick half the time. The only food that tastes good anymore are Luna tea cakes and fruit.
Ok, so the turkey burger I had yesterday was really good. (New Season's variety, not Burger Ville.)
I also need to keep asking at Red Square. I know I'm probably bugging them to shit, but god dammit, if I worked a morning shift at a hippie trendy coffee shop, I would be SO happy.
God. Listen to me. I tried that already, and I wasn't any happier, was I? Well... no, the morning shift was awesome. Stressful, but awesome. And Papaccino's was busier and bigger than this place. It was only once I got shunted off to closing shift that it started sucking so hardcore.
I turn into a prick when I get depressed, by the way. I just stop caring.