More Awkward Honesty
Y'know, cuz. Whatever.
I forgot my anti-crazy meds for a couple of days. And when I say I forgot, I mean I once again pulled the stunt of hitting the end of my prescription and deciding I could wait till I wasn't busy to refill it. On the premise that I couldn't possibly revert to crazy in just a day or ... three.
Truth is, I am hating being on anti-crazy meds. I want off. I wanted to be okay for the few day gap before I renewed, so that I could go to my GP and say I feel like I am ready to be weaned off of these meds. Which is entirely stupid and totally self defeating, because *not* weaning, just stopping abruptly, has made me feel dizzy and ill and mildly disoriented. Yaaaaaayy.
I sure do know how to be responsible, don't I?
And I picked the best possible time to do this to myself. Right in the middle of my search for a new place to live, a scenario that guarantees I am feeling anxiety and stress, AND a time I need to be clear headed and efficient.
Also, I have put on 20 pounds since xmas and I hate my body again.
And I'm freaking out about my crazy not relationship with this boy who is probably all wrong for my life.
I need to calm down, and do laundry, and clean the house, and start packing for my impending move.
But first I'm going to take a bath and pretend that I'm not crazy.
I forgot my anti-crazy meds for a couple of days. And when I say I forgot, I mean I once again pulled the stunt of hitting the end of my prescription and deciding I could wait till I wasn't busy to refill it. On the premise that I couldn't possibly revert to crazy in just a day or ... three.
Truth is, I am hating being on anti-crazy meds. I want off. I wanted to be okay for the few day gap before I renewed, so that I could go to my GP and say I feel like I am ready to be weaned off of these meds. Which is entirely stupid and totally self defeating, because *not* weaning, just stopping abruptly, has made me feel dizzy and ill and mildly disoriented. Yaaaaaayy.
I sure do know how to be responsible, don't I?
And I picked the best possible time to do this to myself. Right in the middle of my search for a new place to live, a scenario that guarantees I am feeling anxiety and stress, AND a time I need to be clear headed and efficient.
Also, I have put on 20 pounds since xmas and I hate my body again.
And I'm freaking out about my crazy not relationship with this boy who is probably all wrong for my life.
I need to calm down, and do laundry, and clean the house, and start packing for my impending move.
But first I'm going to take a bath and pretend that I'm not crazy.