captive
while this is completely obvious, it is really difficult to remove a captive bead. so i'm going back to piercology to buy more jewelry for my nose. and, this is the intelligent part, having someone there take the captive bead off and switch the jewelry. *giggles* i tried to do it myself yesterday, and then i convinced my sister to try today. it was rather unsuccessful, and i decided to quit before i hurt myself. brilliant.
i also realized as i was driving today that i am becoming neurotic again. i was thinking about the brad situation and found myself participating in my old psychotic thinking patterns. i had started to think that i had gotten over this, but it came back. so again, i'm renewing my vow to prevent myself from becoming neurotic. i had decided that the only way to prevent this sort of neuroticism was to become celibate, but i think that intentional celibacy may be overkill. plus i don't really think that it is practical. *giggles* okay, okay. i won't lie. i want to have sex and to stop participating in neurotic thinking. dammit. i just need to learn how to trust and relax and breathe, all of which are harder than they sound. at least i caught my neuroticism before it affected brad. this is progress.
i also discovered the most amazing thing yesterday. i was reading _the v book_, which is all about, well, pussy (in a medical way, not in a porno way). well, i started thinking about my new itching problem around my piercing. i had assumed that part of the issue was the fact that i had a healing piercing, which is true. but it is also true that my nostril piercing became dried out from the cleanser and the salt water soaks. so i bought some lubricant, which has made my life so much better because now my pussy itches less. this contributes to a stronger, overall sense of well-being. *giggles* actually, it just makes me slightly more tolerant of the idiots at work and any progress in that area is appreciated.