*Don't* Stand by your man
I talked to a friend of mine tonight. She's thinking of leaving her husband. And I hope to God she does.
She has been married for almost 3 years. For the last 2 she's been unhappy.
She works 2 jobs. She goes to school. She does the dishes, the laundry, cleans the house, pays the bills, cooks, takes care of the animals, etc....
He works 1 job. And he sits around.
When they got married, they had plans. One of her dreams is to be a mom. They agreed they would have kids a couple of years down the road.
But NOOOO. He's a musician. He's going to make it big. He's going to be a star...no, he's in his mid-20's, plucks on his guitar, hangs out with his loser friend who freeloads off of them, and treats his wife like a mommy.
His friend who lives with them makes cracks at her weight, refuses to help out with bills, never buys his own food/household products, and won't pay his half of the phone bills. And her husband has never once stood up for her. As a matter of fact, when she addresses the money issue, he calls her a "tightfisted bitch" in front of the freeloader while stands there and smirks. He has this need to impress the friend. The friend is DEFINATLEY the alpha male in that household.
And now his plans are changing. He doesn't want kids. He doesn't want bills. Oh, he still wants her, because she takes care of his sorry ass, but he lets her know that she's welcome if he's allowed to keep that bachelor lifestyle.
I've been hearing about this for 2 years now and have STRUGGLED to bite my tongue, but tonight I told her what I really think. I know it's not a good idea to insult your friend's husband, but she really didn't seem to mind. She's so smart, she's so loveable. And he's SUCH an anchor. He's emotionally abusive. He's neglectful. I've witnessed her birthday go by with no mention of it from him. She's too good for him. She'd be sad for a while, but I have NO doubt that by staying with him, she's setting herself up for a lifetime of sadness. She could have so much more and not have to be sucked into depression from this asshole who needs to face reality and realize that his reality is PRETTY FUCKING GOOD!
Her thoughts of leaving are pretty vague and iffy. But at least she's having those thoughts. Her family is in Arizona and that is probably where she would go if she left him. I told her I'd not only help her pack, I'd help drive her down there to leave him. I'd miss her so much, but gladly sacrifice a short-distance friendship if it meant she would finally be happy.
Why do some people want to kill the souls of the people who love them?
She has been married for almost 3 years. For the last 2 she's been unhappy.
She works 2 jobs. She goes to school. She does the dishes, the laundry, cleans the house, pays the bills, cooks, takes care of the animals, etc....
He works 1 job. And he sits around.
When they got married, they had plans. One of her dreams is to be a mom. They agreed they would have kids a couple of years down the road.
But NOOOO. He's a musician. He's going to make it big. He's going to be a star...no, he's in his mid-20's, plucks on his guitar, hangs out with his loser friend who freeloads off of them, and treats his wife like a mommy.
His friend who lives with them makes cracks at her weight, refuses to help out with bills, never buys his own food/household products, and won't pay his half of the phone bills. And her husband has never once stood up for her. As a matter of fact, when she addresses the money issue, he calls her a "tightfisted bitch" in front of the freeloader while stands there and smirks. He has this need to impress the friend. The friend is DEFINATLEY the alpha male in that household.
And now his plans are changing. He doesn't want kids. He doesn't want bills. Oh, he still wants her, because she takes care of his sorry ass, but he lets her know that she's welcome if he's allowed to keep that bachelor lifestyle.
I've been hearing about this for 2 years now and have STRUGGLED to bite my tongue, but tonight I told her what I really think. I know it's not a good idea to insult your friend's husband, but she really didn't seem to mind. She's so smart, she's so loveable. And he's SUCH an anchor. He's emotionally abusive. He's neglectful. I've witnessed her birthday go by with no mention of it from him. She's too good for him. She'd be sad for a while, but I have NO doubt that by staying with him, she's setting herself up for a lifetime of sadness. She could have so much more and not have to be sucked into depression from this asshole who needs to face reality and realize that his reality is PRETTY FUCKING GOOD!
Her thoughts of leaving are pretty vague and iffy. But at least she's having those thoughts. Her family is in Arizona and that is probably where she would go if she left him. I told her I'd not only help her pack, I'd help drive her down there to leave him. I'd miss her so much, but gladly sacrifice a short-distance friendship if it meant she would finally be happy.
Why do some people want to kill the souls of the people who love them?