The Dark and Distrubing Tale of Jeni and the Stingrays, which sounds like a cool name for a band.
XanthPenny: i think it was more that i scared the shit out of a stingray
XanthPenny: i don't remember it being vicious at all
MozzarellaMan: Those vicious beasties killed the tenacious crocodile hunter
MozzarellaMan: you can never let your guard down
XanthPenny: the only thing this one could have killed is my dive boot
MozzarellaMan: killed it to death
MozzarellaMan: then you'd be stuck diving with one boot
MozzarellaMan: and it'd call in its friends to circle round you while you were crippled
MozzarellaMan: They'd probably knock you around, playing with you like a cat does with a mouse
MozzarellaMan: Eventually they'd move in for the kill
MozzarellaMan: then they'd hollow out your body and crawl inside your flesh, using it as a suit
MozzarellaMan: they'd keep your lungs, so that they could breathe once they exited their watery prison
MozzarellaMan: and from your torso they'd launch their plans for world domination
XanthPenny: sounds exciting
MozzarellaMan: Not for you, you'd be dead
MozzarellaMan: it'd be exciting for me though
MozzarellaMan: since obviously I'd be the natural choice to lead a band of escaped slaves turned rebels against our harsh stingray overlords
MozzarellaMan: We'd triumph against overwhelming odds, thanks in large part to my team of commando buxom women clad in rudimentary animal fur bikinis.
XanthPenny: sweet!
MozzarellaMan: We'd drive them back to the oceans, and then somehow desalinificate the entire world's water supply
MozzarellaMan: Killing countless numbers of innocent sea creatures, but also providing us with an endless supply of freshwater
MozzarellaMan: River fish would enter the ocean and eventually repopulate it. The fishing industry would be destroyed, but mankind would have a phobia of open waters anyway
MozzarellaMan: We'd resort to a diet of beef and ramen, worldwide
MozzarellaMan: with the occasional side of bacon
XanthPenny: yummy
MozzarellaMan: Poultry would thrive
MozzarellaMan: It would be a new golden age
MozzarellaMan: But of course then our main food supply would succumb to mad cow disease. Poor people would begin starving to death almost immediately as the price of ramen skyrockets
MozzarellaMan: The rich would control all the noodles.
MozzarellaMan: It would be a global epidemic similar to the potato famine
MozzarellaMan: Only myself and the brightest, strongest, or most buxom and bikini clad would be able to survive by boarding a space craft for a recently discovered earthlike world
MozzarellaMan: which, in an ironic twist of fate, would be inhabited by peaceful creatures evolved from sting rays
MozzarellaMan: Eons ago stingrays developed space travel, and escaped from our world, sending back their criminals
XanthPenny: yay!
MozzarellaMan: You'd still be brutally murdered, of course, and the human race would be doomed
MozzarellaMan: I'd get to live out the rest of my days as an interplanetary diplomat feasting on lobster and crab
MozzarellaMan: until the stingraymen turned on us and ate us in our sleep
MozzarellaMan: prompted by a misunderstanding when someone was playing tapes of Jeff Foxworthy talking about his stingray cowboy boots
MozzarellaMan: You and a redneck comedian would go down in history as the ones who destroyed the human race, if there were anyone left to record human history. Which there wouldn't be.
XanthPenny: hmm
MozzarellaMan: Is that something you want on your conscience?
XanthPenny: yes
MozzarellaMan: jerk
XanthPenny: i don't remember it being vicious at all
MozzarellaMan: Those vicious beasties killed the tenacious crocodile hunter
MozzarellaMan: you can never let your guard down
XanthPenny: the only thing this one could have killed is my dive boot
MozzarellaMan: killed it to death
MozzarellaMan: then you'd be stuck diving with one boot
MozzarellaMan: and it'd call in its friends to circle round you while you were crippled
MozzarellaMan: They'd probably knock you around, playing with you like a cat does with a mouse
MozzarellaMan: Eventually they'd move in for the kill
MozzarellaMan: then they'd hollow out your body and crawl inside your flesh, using it as a suit
MozzarellaMan: they'd keep your lungs, so that they could breathe once they exited their watery prison
MozzarellaMan: and from your torso they'd launch their plans for world domination
XanthPenny: sounds exciting
MozzarellaMan: Not for you, you'd be dead
MozzarellaMan: it'd be exciting for me though
MozzarellaMan: since obviously I'd be the natural choice to lead a band of escaped slaves turned rebels against our harsh stingray overlords
MozzarellaMan: We'd triumph against overwhelming odds, thanks in large part to my team of commando buxom women clad in rudimentary animal fur bikinis.
XanthPenny: sweet!
MozzarellaMan: We'd drive them back to the oceans, and then somehow desalinificate the entire world's water supply
MozzarellaMan: Killing countless numbers of innocent sea creatures, but also providing us with an endless supply of freshwater
MozzarellaMan: River fish would enter the ocean and eventually repopulate it. The fishing industry would be destroyed, but mankind would have a phobia of open waters anyway
MozzarellaMan: We'd resort to a diet of beef and ramen, worldwide
MozzarellaMan: with the occasional side of bacon
XanthPenny: yummy
MozzarellaMan: Poultry would thrive
MozzarellaMan: It would be a new golden age
MozzarellaMan: But of course then our main food supply would succumb to mad cow disease. Poor people would begin starving to death almost immediately as the price of ramen skyrockets
MozzarellaMan: The rich would control all the noodles.
MozzarellaMan: It would be a global epidemic similar to the potato famine
MozzarellaMan: Only myself and the brightest, strongest, or most buxom and bikini clad would be able to survive by boarding a space craft for a recently discovered earthlike world
MozzarellaMan: which, in an ironic twist of fate, would be inhabited by peaceful creatures evolved from sting rays
MozzarellaMan: Eons ago stingrays developed space travel, and escaped from our world, sending back their criminals
XanthPenny: yay!
MozzarellaMan: You'd still be brutally murdered, of course, and the human race would be doomed
MozzarellaMan: I'd get to live out the rest of my days as an interplanetary diplomat feasting on lobster and crab
MozzarellaMan: until the stingraymen turned on us and ate us in our sleep
MozzarellaMan: prompted by a misunderstanding when someone was playing tapes of Jeff Foxworthy talking about his stingray cowboy boots
MozzarellaMan: You and a redneck comedian would go down in history as the ones who destroyed the human race, if there were anyone left to record human history. Which there wouldn't be.
XanthPenny: hmm
MozzarellaMan: Is that something you want on your conscience?
XanthPenny: yes
MozzarellaMan: jerk