bittersweet symphony
too bad there's no job for self pity-ers because i'd be super good at that right now
i can't remember ever feeling so limited, which is stupid because i have more than most people in the world will ever experience. i try to keep this in perspective and still i can't help but think there's more out there. more to do, more to see, more people to meet, more things to learn. more. immaterial. experience. living. you know that thing? i feel like there's not much of that going on in my life. i get the feeling that i'll go off one day and i'll live and i'll see and i'll do the things that i wanted to do all along and then i'll remember this purple house. my home, my town, the place i've loved to hate, the place i've hated to love. but do. where i have no car and can't go anywhere. i'll remember this house and this time and i'll think: that wasn't so bad, i want that back. and i won't be able to get it back. so i should try to enjoy it now, but it's hard. it's hard when all i see is everything else. it's hard when i remember things the way i want to remember them.
and nothing will turn out the way i imagine, because it doesn't work that way. imagine, i feel like that's all i do
i can't remember ever feeling so limited, which is stupid because i have more than most people in the world will ever experience. i try to keep this in perspective and still i can't help but think there's more out there. more to do, more to see, more people to meet, more things to learn. more. immaterial. experience. living. you know that thing? i feel like there's not much of that going on in my life. i get the feeling that i'll go off one day and i'll live and i'll see and i'll do the things that i wanted to do all along and then i'll remember this purple house. my home, my town, the place i've loved to hate, the place i've hated to love. but do. where i have no car and can't go anywhere. i'll remember this house and this time and i'll think: that wasn't so bad, i want that back. and i won't be able to get it back. so i should try to enjoy it now, but it's hard. it's hard when all i see is everything else. it's hard when i remember things the way i want to remember them.
and nothing will turn out the way i imagine, because it doesn't work that way. imagine, i feel like that's all i do