Oh bother. I'm so retarded.
Yeah... SO SO SO retarded.
Um... Well this is my journal and *almost* no one reads it, so I'm going to be totally honest. You know how like... I was worried about whether I knew what love is or not...? Wull... I tink... Maybe... I don't love Kyle? :'(
Dis ish HORRIBLE. ALL THAT TIME of me being like "oh I've got such a crush I think I'm in love" and bla bla bla. And he finally asks me out and I'm like w007 and now... I'm all confused. I dunno. I tink I luff Kyle... but since I don't know why I luff him, I'm worried. Yeah. That's mostly the problem. I DO love him... but I can't figure out why. :(
It reminds me of that song... "He says all the right things at exactly the right times, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why..." Kyle is so perfect for me, yet... I don't... Do I? Like. He's funny. And playful. And smart. And romantic. And sensitive, but not too extreme. And he tells me I'm an angel and says nice things. And he's cute, too. ^_^ Perfect... but I don't feel... right...
I dunno. I'm so stupid all the time. But I can't help but think about it. He says that I'm perfect for him... but... I'm really not. I mean, I do like video games, but I also like other stuff. And he likes... video games... and just chillin. Which is fine. I love that about him. But... you know... Sometimes I like to go out and do stuff... - scratch that - I've got way too much energy. I ALWAYS want to go out and do stuff. And he doesn't. :(
Plus also. He talks. And talks. And talks. Lol. And I love him for it. But... I don't really need a blow by blow description of everything that's happening... while I'm like... there... And anyway, like I was saying about not being right for him... He seems to need someone that can talk with him. And I'm far too quiet.
Yeah... I really really luff my Poochie. But I dunno why. And that makes me sad.
Now that I've complained into my LJ like a pathetic little emo kid, I think I'll go contemplate whether Billy is lying to me or he really goes to Cienega. And then wonder whether he'll talk to me on Monday. Which I'm REALLY hoping he will, because I seriously don't know anyone there. Or maybe Samantha Blouch will remember to introduce me to people for reals. Or maybe I'll just be really brave and play hackey sack with that kid from the cafe and his friends... We'll see I suppose.