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OK, so this is just a short story inspired by Florence. She, Kathy, Jean and I were talking about someone and I mentioned something about bellybuttons to which Florence wrote, "Billy and Bean's Bellybuttons -- that's a great title for a story."
So, I wrote a story with that as the title. It has nothing to do with what we were talking about, but I thought it was kind of a cute premise. I don't know if it is is good or not, but maybe give it a chance?
So without further ado, I present...
Billy's and Bean's Bellybuttons
Imogene Madeline Gelfson didn’t much like her name, but her parents called her that every day.
“Imogene Madeline!” They would call every morning, making sure the end of her second name rhymed with “fine.” That’s because her father said Imogene was so fine, they needed to add the name “Madeline.”
“TIME TO GET UP, SWEET IMOGENE MADELINE!”
Even though their calling was full of love, Imogene Madeline Gelfson would wake up in a huff. And a huff. And a huff.
Somehow, someway, she needed to convince her parents that Imogene Madeline Gelfson was no name for an 8-year-old girl.
“My name’s too long,” she insisted.
“Every letter is beautiful and works well together,” her mother replied. “Do you realize there are 12 different letters of the alphabet in your name.”
“That’s almost half the alphabet,” her father added with a smile. “That means you get more bang for your buck!”
Imogene Madeline Gelfson didn’t know why she had to bang on a buck, but she knew there were a lot of letters in her silly name. “I’ll turn into alphabet soup!”
“EXACTLY!” Her father said standing up and ruffling the curly hair on her head. “All you need is some of Nana’s homemade noodles and we can eat you up!”
Imogene Madeline Gelfson knew her father was kidding but she crossed her arms tight across her chest. Imogene Madeline Gelfson was no name for an 8-year-old girl whose future consisted of turning into a bowl of broth and noodles and little pieces of carrots.
So she stared at her father with her best pout, and sat in a huff.
And a huff. And a huff.
But her father just pouted right back and they stayed at each other in a huff.
And a huff. And a huff.
Then her father cheated. He tickled Imogene Madeline Gelfson on the tummy and traded her pout for a giggle.
“I don’t think you should turn into alphabet soup,” her father said between tickles. “If you do, you’re bound to get a soup bean stuck in your bellybutton.”
And just then, Imogene Madeline Gelfson thought of something even more silly than her silly, old, alphabet soup name.
Her silly, old bellybutton.
So while munching on a piece of peanut butter toast, Imogene Madeline Gelfson thought about her silly, old bellybutton. When her mother read the newspaper and her father pushed the buttons on the television remote control over and over, Imogene Madeline Gelfson lifted up her shirt and stared at her bellybutton.
It sure was weird. When she pushed the top and the bottom of it together, it looked like it could talk.
If she pushed the sides down and let her bellybutton pop up, it kind of looked like a cat. Not a cute cat. More like a a fat cat that who huffs and huffs because the poor cat has to wake up everyday to a silly name, like “Mr. Whisker Face,” or “Señor Pouty Paws,” or “Tubby Wubby Fluffy Bubby.”
Those were not names Imogene Madeline Gelfson made up. Those were names Tanya Davis called her fat, old cat. Tanya lived four houses down. Tanya didn’t have an alphabet soup name, but she always teased Imogene Madeline Gelfson about her name and gave her the nickname.
“Look Mr. Wisker Face,” Tanya would say as she held her fat cat and took him for a walk. “It’s Imogene the Washing Machine."
Imogene did NOT like that name. But Tanya thought she was smart and laughed and laughed while her poor cat looked like all he wanted to do was get down and away from mean, unfunny and not-so-smart Tanya.
“Isn’t your cat’s name Fred?” Imogene asked.
“He likes it when I call him nicknames.”
“I bet he doesn’t!” Imogene screamed. “You shouldn’t call anyone a mean nickname!”
“It’s not mean!” Tanya insisted, and he held Fred the cat tighter and tighter and the poor cat looked like he might pop. “I WUV HIM!” Tanya added in a sweet voice that didn’t sound very sweet to Imogene Madeline Gelfson.
But Imogene had to stop thinking about stupid, old Tanya and focus on her silly, old bellybutton that could look like a mouth one way and look like a sad, fat cat another way.
That’s just made no sense. How could a bellybutton possibly be used if it looked so strange and so silly.
Imogene Madeline Gelfson needed to investigate this further. This looked like a perfect case for Billy and Bean -- ace investigators.
Imogene Madeline Gelson finished her toast, hopped off her chair, got dressed and went to her friend’s house.
Once there, Billy and Bean would get on the case.
-----
Imogene’s made a stern and concentrated face as she rode her bike to her friend’s house. After she knocked upon the door and her friend’s mother answered. “Hello Imogene Madeline Gelfson.” Imogene just replied with a sigh and a huff.
And a huff. And a huff.
“Hello Ms. Porter,” Imogene said politely. “Can Wilfreda Florence play?”
With a smile, her friend’s mother opened the door wide for Imogene to enter, and in a flash she was at her friend’s door, knocking their secret knock.
KNOCK! KNOCK! knock. knock. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Is that you, Bean?”
“Who else would it be, Billy!” Imogene said, trying not to be so loud.
That’s right. The secret duo of Billy and Bean were none other than Imogene Madeline Gelfson and her friend, Wilfreda Florence Porter.
Both girls favored their second names rather than their firsts, but they knew that “Maddy” (for Madeline) and Flo (for... you know... Florence) would be too obvious for secret code names. So the two resorted to using their first names. From Wilfreda came “Billy” and Imogene was shortened to Jean, which rhymes with “Bean.”
They were proud of their top-secret names. “They’re tricky,” declared Imogene Madeline Gelfson, aka (that’s “also known as”) Bean. “They’re even... sneaky.”
Wilfreda Florence (aka Billy) Porter wasn’t so sure. She thought maybe her big brother -- Code Name “The Beast” (TB for short) -- might have already figured them out.
And from their names, the duo decided on a secret knock (so that TB wouldn’t try to hone in on their super secret activities). Two weeks ago, they developed a super-secret knock -- two hard knocks, two soft knocks, and then three (not two!) hard knocks. They knew their pattern was an absolutely indecipherable code. In other words, no one could ever figure it out. At least that is what Bean said. Billy wasn’t so sure. Especially since her whole family knew only Bean did that knock and it’s not like they have disguises.
That’s when Billy thought maybe she and Bean should have disguises, but that’s another story altogether.
“BILLY! I have a super important secret job for us!”
“Really? Cause I think I have one too,” Billy said excitedly. “I think TB has a girlfriend and as fellow girls we should warn her about my brother’s stinkitude.”
That was Billy -- always the crusader for others. “Billy. That’s great. That will be our next project. First we HAVE to tackle my mystery.”
“Why yours first?”
“Cause.”
“Cause why?”
“Cause of this!” And with that Bean pulled up her shirt to reveal her mysterious bellybutton.
And Billy’s reaction? She screamed and lifted up her own shirt to reveal her own bellybutton.
The two girls looked at each other’s buttons, then looked in each other’s faces and screamed again.
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR BELLY BUTTON?!” Billy exclaimed.
“MY BELLYBUTTON? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOURS!?”
Here was the deal. You might remember Bean’s bellybutton. It was like a little hole that she could squoosh the sides. But Billy’s bellybutton looked like it was pushed out.
That’s right. Bean was an innie and Billy was an outie. Either way they looked weird to the girls.
“Your bellybutton’s not right, Billy,” Bean said, lowering her shirt. “Did you glue something on it?”
“No way,” Billy replied, lowering her shirt. “This is how bellybuttons should be. Yours is the weird one.”
“IS NOT!”
“IS TOO!”
Suddenly there was pounding on the door. “WHAT ARE YOU DORKS DOING IN THERE?”
It was TB. “NOTHING! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!”
“YEAH!”
“Whatever, dorks.” And with that, TB walked away, leaving the girls somewhat confused as to their next move.
“Why do you think their different, Bean? I mean, our bellybuttons?”
“I don’t know, Billy,” Bean said, getting into her best investigator mode. “All I wanted to know before was what they are used for, but now I want to know why you got a strange one.”
“You mean why YOU got a strange one.”
“DO NOT!”
“DO TOO!”
“Listen,” Bean said putting her hands upon her super secret partner’s shoulders. “We have to focus and get to the bottom of this mystery.”
“Right!” Billy said. “But we need some expert opinions here. I think we need to go to our source of super secret information.”
“Operation BB is underway,” Bean said confidently. BB being code for “bellybutton. “To Pascuale’s house?”
“YES! He’ll let us know what’s wrong with your BB!” Billy said stepping out of her room.
“You mean your BB!” Bean replied, following close behind.
--------------------
Pascuale Zepparo was the smartest boy in Billy and Bean’s third grade class. He could do all kinds of math in head and one time did a 40-word search in 1 minute 54 seconds, a new school record.
Like Billy and Bean, Pascuale had an unusual name with a lot of letters. But he never seems to mind. He was the only other person who knew Billy and Bean’s super secret code names, but he didn’t want for himself.
My name is Pascuale, and it’s the only name I’ve got, so I’m sticking with it,” he once told Billy and Bean. And even though he voiced his dissatisfaction with different names, Bean couldn’t resist. He was part of their team, too, so to Bean, Pascuale Zepparo was “PZ.”
Pascuale also lived only seven short houses away from Billy, so it was an easy run for the girls to make it to his house in no time at all.
When Pascuale’s mother opened the door to a symphony of staccato knocking, she found two very out of breath 8-year-old girls greeting her.
“Pascuale! There are...” Before she could finish her sentence Pascuale was at his mother’s side. “MIJO! You scared me. I hate when you do that! You sneak up to me like your father.”
“Sorry mama,” Pascuale said in his normal, serious tone. “I got the door, thank you.”
Pascuale’s mother just shook her head and smiled. Before walking back to the kitchen she said to the girls, “Come on in.”
All three kids watched for her to leave before making a sound. When she was out of ear shot, the trio huddled together.
“Billy. Bean,” Pascuale said as he seriously addressed his friends. “What’s going on?”
“We have a super secret problem we need help with,” Bean said.
“Yeah,” Billy added. “It’s super important and we need your expert teasing to figure something out.”
“What’s expert teasing?”
“You know,” Billy said, getting a little nervous because she wanted this BB controversy figured out! “When someone is good at something they have expert tease.”
“You mean expertise,” Pascuale said. “It’s one word. It’s a a noun and it...”
“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Billy said in a high whisper. “Listen, Pascuale, focus! We really need your help.”
“Come on,” Pascaule said as he went toward another part of his house. “We’ll talk in the playroom.”
Once in the room, Pascuale turned to his friends. “What’s going on?”
Billy and Bean looked at each, gave a nod and lifted their shirts ever so slightly (because, well, Pascuale was a boy after all), just enough to reveal their BBs - their mysterious bellybuttons.
“Hmmm,” Pascuale pondered. “Billy, what’s going on with your bellybutton?”
“I KNEW IT!” Bean yelled. She quickly pushed her shirt back down. “It’s weird, isn’t PZ?!”
“It’s Pascuale. Pascuale Zepparo,” he said, in flat, serious voice. “Is that what they call an ‘outie,’ Billy?”
“Yeah,” she said, kind of sad as she lifted her shirt lower. “Does that mean there’s something wrong with me?”
“Hmmm,” Pascuale pondered again. “I’m not sure why you have an outie... maybe it’s because you’re a reptile.”
“EWWWW” the girls said together.
“I’M NOT A REPTILE!”
“Oh, man, Billy, maybe not now, but later on...” Bean pondered herself. “Oh man, maybe when you get older you’ll like turn green and scaly like an alligator and you’ll want to each rabbits raw or something.”
“NOOOOO! I don’t want that!” Billy yelled. “Pascuale! You’ve got to be wrong!”
“Hmmm,” Pascuale pondered yet again. He pondered a lot. That’s why everyone figured he was so smart. “You know what? Maybe I am wrong. Come on.”
Once again, Billy and Bean followed their friend to another part of his house. This time they retreated to the kitchen. Pascuale went straight to the refrigerator, opened it up and took out a container holding a dozen eggs.
“OK, these are chicken eggs,” Pascuale said, which gained him two “duhs” from Billy and Bean. “Well, wait a sec. OK, so these are eggs right? Well, reptiles come from eggs too.”
“So?” Bean said. Sometimes she figured that PZ wasn’t as smart as everyone thought. “What do chicken eggs have to do with Billy’s reptile bellybutton.”
“SHUT UP!” Billy said, punctuating her statement to a smack on Bean’s upper arm.
“OWWW! Quit it!”
While Bean rubbed her sore arm, Pascaule rolled his eyes and continued his thoughts. “Anyway... OK, so chickens come from eggs and reptiles... like alligators... come from eggs. So if both of them come from eggs, we should be able to see a bellybutton on them, right?”
“I don’t know, PZ,” Bean said slowly. “That sounds kind of weird.”
“No it doesn’t. Think about it. If Billy really is a reptile because she has an outie, that would mean that all things coming out of eggs have outies,” Pascuale took an egg in each hand and thrust it in Billy’s and Bean’s faces. “Do either of you see any belly buttons?”
“Not on the egg,” Billy said. “But Pascuale, what about on the inside?”
“Oh,” Pascuale said. He needed more pondering. “Well, I’ve never seen one on the inside either, have you?”
“Well, no, but all I do is eat them scrambled with cheese. I’m not looking for bellybuttons,” Billy said.
“You’ve got a point. We could be eating them and not know it,” Pascuale said.
Bean had had enough. “PZ! THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Look, all we want to know is why we have both have different bellybuttons and why the horseradish we have them anyways! NOW DO YOU KNOW OR NOT!”
Pascuale stood completely unfazed by his friend’s outburst. He turned around and walked toward the sliding glass door that led to his family’s backyard.
“WHERE ARE YA GOING?!” Bean yelled.
Pascuale turned around, “To find a lizard, of course. Maybe a frog, too. Although that’s an amphibian, but it might be a good test.”
He left his friends standing in his kitchen. They both stood quietly, until Billy said. “Does he think I’m a lizard now or a frog?”
“I don’t know. I think he’s crazy. You’re a girl. Period,” Bean said, with an air of confidence.
“Yeah!” Billy exclaimed. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I think we just have two different bellybuttons.”
“But why?” Bean asked. “And what are they used for?”
“Maybe they tell you how well you girls fit each other.”
The girls didn’t notice that Pascuale’s mother was standing at the far end of the counter. She had apparently heard the entire predicament. She walked around the counter to get closer to girls and talked in a soft voice. “You know, girls, everyone’s body is different, and there is no unusual or specific reason why you two have different bellybuttons.”
“But Pascuale said it might because I’m a reptile or something,” Billy said softly.
“Oh, Pascuale is just thinking out loud. He’s a smart boy, but he doesn’t get everything right, no matter what he might think.”
Mrs. Zepparo gave the girls a smile, which made them both smile back. She’s was pretty smart for a grown up.
“Yeah, but what did you mean when you said our bellybuttons say how well we fit?” Bean asked.
“OK. Well, you have an innie bellybutton?” Mrs. Zepparo asked Bean, who nodded yes. “And you have an outie, mija? Billy in turn nodded. “Well, your innie matches her outie. You’re like puzzle pieces that fit together. There are other reasons people have bellybuttons, but you will find that out when you are older. But for now, you can think about how your different bellybuttons are perfect fits for each other. What do you girls think?”
Yup, Mrs. Zepparo seemed a lot smarter than Pascuale to Bean and Billy. They smiled at each other. “That’s pretty cool, Mrs. Z,” Bean said.
“Yeah, thanks Mrs. Zepparo,” Billy said.
“You’re welcome, girls.”
“Hey, since this got figured out we should work on my super secret mission - Operation Rescue The Beast’s New Girlfriend From Possibly Getting Kissed By My Stinky Brother!” Billy said.
“It’s a long name, but it’s got potential.”
The girls said goodbye to Mrs. Zepparo, who told the girls she would tell her son they left.
Mrs. Zepparo then opened the sliding glass door to her backyard to find her son. She didn’t see him right away, but soon heard a scream and the call of “MAMA!”
“Pascuale? Are you OK?”
Pascuale ran up to her looking very nervous. He held out his hand and showed a lizard dangling from his middle finger. “IT WON’T COME OFF!” Pascuale said in a fearful voice, shaking his finger and trying to fling off the creature, who just wouldn’t budge. “I WAS TRYING TO INSPECT WHETHER IT HAD A BELLYBUTTON AND IT BIT ME AND... IT... WON’T... COME... OFF!”
Mrs. Zepparo suppressed her giggle as best as possible, held her son’s shaking hand and with her other hand snatched off the lizard and put him on the ground.
Boys, she thought to herself. Sometimes girls are so much easier.
THE END.
-------
Reviews and comments are always appreciated :-)
So, I wrote a story with that as the title. It has nothing to do with what we were talking about, but I thought it was kind of a cute premise. I don't know if it is is good or not, but maybe give it a chance?
So without further ado, I present...
Billy's and Bean's Bellybuttons
Imogene Madeline Gelfson didn’t much like her name, but her parents called her that every day.
“Imogene Madeline!” They would call every morning, making sure the end of her second name rhymed with “fine.” That’s because her father said Imogene was so fine, they needed to add the name “Madeline.”
“TIME TO GET UP, SWEET IMOGENE MADELINE!”
Even though their calling was full of love, Imogene Madeline Gelfson would wake up in a huff. And a huff. And a huff.
Somehow, someway, she needed to convince her parents that Imogene Madeline Gelfson was no name for an 8-year-old girl.
“My name’s too long,” she insisted.
“Every letter is beautiful and works well together,” her mother replied. “Do you realize there are 12 different letters of the alphabet in your name.”
“That’s almost half the alphabet,” her father added with a smile. “That means you get more bang for your buck!”
Imogene Madeline Gelfson didn’t know why she had to bang on a buck, but she knew there were a lot of letters in her silly name. “I’ll turn into alphabet soup!”
“EXACTLY!” Her father said standing up and ruffling the curly hair on her head. “All you need is some of Nana’s homemade noodles and we can eat you up!”
Imogene Madeline Gelfson knew her father was kidding but she crossed her arms tight across her chest. Imogene Madeline Gelfson was no name for an 8-year-old girl whose future consisted of turning into a bowl of broth and noodles and little pieces of carrots.
So she stared at her father with her best pout, and sat in a huff.
And a huff. And a huff.
But her father just pouted right back and they stayed at each other in a huff.
And a huff. And a huff.
Then her father cheated. He tickled Imogene Madeline Gelfson on the tummy and traded her pout for a giggle.
“I don’t think you should turn into alphabet soup,” her father said between tickles. “If you do, you’re bound to get a soup bean stuck in your bellybutton.”
And just then, Imogene Madeline Gelfson thought of something even more silly than her silly, old, alphabet soup name.
Her silly, old bellybutton.
So while munching on a piece of peanut butter toast, Imogene Madeline Gelfson thought about her silly, old bellybutton. When her mother read the newspaper and her father pushed the buttons on the television remote control over and over, Imogene Madeline Gelfson lifted up her shirt and stared at her bellybutton.
It sure was weird. When she pushed the top and the bottom of it together, it looked like it could talk.
If she pushed the sides down and let her bellybutton pop up, it kind of looked like a cat. Not a cute cat. More like a a fat cat that who huffs and huffs because the poor cat has to wake up everyday to a silly name, like “Mr. Whisker Face,” or “Señor Pouty Paws,” or “Tubby Wubby Fluffy Bubby.”
Those were not names Imogene Madeline Gelfson made up. Those were names Tanya Davis called her fat, old cat. Tanya lived four houses down. Tanya didn’t have an alphabet soup name, but she always teased Imogene Madeline Gelfson about her name and gave her the nickname.
“Look Mr. Wisker Face,” Tanya would say as she held her fat cat and took him for a walk. “It’s Imogene the Washing Machine."
Imogene did NOT like that name. But Tanya thought she was smart and laughed and laughed while her poor cat looked like all he wanted to do was get down and away from mean, unfunny and not-so-smart Tanya.
“Isn’t your cat’s name Fred?” Imogene asked.
“He likes it when I call him nicknames.”
“I bet he doesn’t!” Imogene screamed. “You shouldn’t call anyone a mean nickname!”
“It’s not mean!” Tanya insisted, and he held Fred the cat tighter and tighter and the poor cat looked like he might pop. “I WUV HIM!” Tanya added in a sweet voice that didn’t sound very sweet to Imogene Madeline Gelfson.
But Imogene had to stop thinking about stupid, old Tanya and focus on her silly, old bellybutton that could look like a mouth one way and look like a sad, fat cat another way.
That’s just made no sense. How could a bellybutton possibly be used if it looked so strange and so silly.
Imogene Madeline Gelfson needed to investigate this further. This looked like a perfect case for Billy and Bean -- ace investigators.
Imogene Madeline Gelson finished her toast, hopped off her chair, got dressed and went to her friend’s house.
Once there, Billy and Bean would get on the case.
-----
Imogene’s made a stern and concentrated face as she rode her bike to her friend’s house. After she knocked upon the door and her friend’s mother answered. “Hello Imogene Madeline Gelfson.” Imogene just replied with a sigh and a huff.
And a huff. And a huff.
“Hello Ms. Porter,” Imogene said politely. “Can Wilfreda Florence play?”
With a smile, her friend’s mother opened the door wide for Imogene to enter, and in a flash she was at her friend’s door, knocking their secret knock.
KNOCK! KNOCK! knock. knock. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Is that you, Bean?”
“Who else would it be, Billy!” Imogene said, trying not to be so loud.
That’s right. The secret duo of Billy and Bean were none other than Imogene Madeline Gelfson and her friend, Wilfreda Florence Porter.
Both girls favored their second names rather than their firsts, but they knew that “Maddy” (for Madeline) and Flo (for... you know... Florence) would be too obvious for secret code names. So the two resorted to using their first names. From Wilfreda came “Billy” and Imogene was shortened to Jean, which rhymes with “Bean.”
They were proud of their top-secret names. “They’re tricky,” declared Imogene Madeline Gelfson, aka (that’s “also known as”) Bean. “They’re even... sneaky.”
Wilfreda Florence (aka Billy) Porter wasn’t so sure. She thought maybe her big brother -- Code Name “The Beast” (TB for short) -- might have already figured them out.
And from their names, the duo decided on a secret knock (so that TB wouldn’t try to hone in on their super secret activities). Two weeks ago, they developed a super-secret knock -- two hard knocks, two soft knocks, and then three (not two!) hard knocks. They knew their pattern was an absolutely indecipherable code. In other words, no one could ever figure it out. At least that is what Bean said. Billy wasn’t so sure. Especially since her whole family knew only Bean did that knock and it’s not like they have disguises.
That’s when Billy thought maybe she and Bean should have disguises, but that’s another story altogether.
“BILLY! I have a super important secret job for us!”
“Really? Cause I think I have one too,” Billy said excitedly. “I think TB has a girlfriend and as fellow girls we should warn her about my brother’s stinkitude.”
That was Billy -- always the crusader for others. “Billy. That’s great. That will be our next project. First we HAVE to tackle my mystery.”
“Why yours first?”
“Cause.”
“Cause why?”
“Cause of this!” And with that Bean pulled up her shirt to reveal her mysterious bellybutton.
And Billy’s reaction? She screamed and lifted up her own shirt to reveal her own bellybutton.
The two girls looked at each other’s buttons, then looked in each other’s faces and screamed again.
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR BELLY BUTTON?!” Billy exclaimed.
“MY BELLYBUTTON? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOURS!?”
Here was the deal. You might remember Bean’s bellybutton. It was like a little hole that she could squoosh the sides. But Billy’s bellybutton looked like it was pushed out.
That’s right. Bean was an innie and Billy was an outie. Either way they looked weird to the girls.
“Your bellybutton’s not right, Billy,” Bean said, lowering her shirt. “Did you glue something on it?”
“No way,” Billy replied, lowering her shirt. “This is how bellybuttons should be. Yours is the weird one.”
“IS NOT!”
“IS TOO!”
Suddenly there was pounding on the door. “WHAT ARE YOU DORKS DOING IN THERE?”
It was TB. “NOTHING! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!”
“YEAH!”
“Whatever, dorks.” And with that, TB walked away, leaving the girls somewhat confused as to their next move.
“Why do you think their different, Bean? I mean, our bellybuttons?”
“I don’t know, Billy,” Bean said, getting into her best investigator mode. “All I wanted to know before was what they are used for, but now I want to know why you got a strange one.”
“You mean why YOU got a strange one.”
“DO NOT!”
“DO TOO!”
“Listen,” Bean said putting her hands upon her super secret partner’s shoulders. “We have to focus and get to the bottom of this mystery.”
“Right!” Billy said. “But we need some expert opinions here. I think we need to go to our source of super secret information.”
“Operation BB is underway,” Bean said confidently. BB being code for “bellybutton. “To Pascuale’s house?”
“YES! He’ll let us know what’s wrong with your BB!” Billy said stepping out of her room.
“You mean your BB!” Bean replied, following close behind.
--------------------
Pascuale Zepparo was the smartest boy in Billy and Bean’s third grade class. He could do all kinds of math in head and one time did a 40-word search in 1 minute 54 seconds, a new school record.
Like Billy and Bean, Pascuale had an unusual name with a lot of letters. But he never seems to mind. He was the only other person who knew Billy and Bean’s super secret code names, but he didn’t want for himself.
My name is Pascuale, and it’s the only name I’ve got, so I’m sticking with it,” he once told Billy and Bean. And even though he voiced his dissatisfaction with different names, Bean couldn’t resist. He was part of their team, too, so to Bean, Pascuale Zepparo was “PZ.”
Pascuale also lived only seven short houses away from Billy, so it was an easy run for the girls to make it to his house in no time at all.
When Pascuale’s mother opened the door to a symphony of staccato knocking, she found two very out of breath 8-year-old girls greeting her.
“Pascuale! There are...” Before she could finish her sentence Pascuale was at his mother’s side. “MIJO! You scared me. I hate when you do that! You sneak up to me like your father.”
“Sorry mama,” Pascuale said in his normal, serious tone. “I got the door, thank you.”
Pascuale’s mother just shook her head and smiled. Before walking back to the kitchen she said to the girls, “Come on in.”
All three kids watched for her to leave before making a sound. When she was out of ear shot, the trio huddled together.
“Billy. Bean,” Pascuale said as he seriously addressed his friends. “What’s going on?”
“We have a super secret problem we need help with,” Bean said.
“Yeah,” Billy added. “It’s super important and we need your expert teasing to figure something out.”
“What’s expert teasing?”
“You know,” Billy said, getting a little nervous because she wanted this BB controversy figured out! “When someone is good at something they have expert tease.”
“You mean expertise,” Pascuale said. “It’s one word. It’s a a noun and it...”
“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Billy said in a high whisper. “Listen, Pascuale, focus! We really need your help.”
“Come on,” Pascaule said as he went toward another part of his house. “We’ll talk in the playroom.”
Once in the room, Pascuale turned to his friends. “What’s going on?”
Billy and Bean looked at each, gave a nod and lifted their shirts ever so slightly (because, well, Pascuale was a boy after all), just enough to reveal their BBs - their mysterious bellybuttons.
“Hmmm,” Pascuale pondered. “Billy, what’s going on with your bellybutton?”
“I KNEW IT!” Bean yelled. She quickly pushed her shirt back down. “It’s weird, isn’t PZ?!”
“It’s Pascuale. Pascuale Zepparo,” he said, in flat, serious voice. “Is that what they call an ‘outie,’ Billy?”
“Yeah,” she said, kind of sad as she lifted her shirt lower. “Does that mean there’s something wrong with me?”
“Hmmm,” Pascuale pondered again. “I’m not sure why you have an outie... maybe it’s because you’re a reptile.”
“EWWWW” the girls said together.
“I’M NOT A REPTILE!”
“Oh, man, Billy, maybe not now, but later on...” Bean pondered herself. “Oh man, maybe when you get older you’ll like turn green and scaly like an alligator and you’ll want to each rabbits raw or something.”
“NOOOOO! I don’t want that!” Billy yelled. “Pascuale! You’ve got to be wrong!”
“Hmmm,” Pascuale pondered yet again. He pondered a lot. That’s why everyone figured he was so smart. “You know what? Maybe I am wrong. Come on.”
Once again, Billy and Bean followed their friend to another part of his house. This time they retreated to the kitchen. Pascuale went straight to the refrigerator, opened it up and took out a container holding a dozen eggs.
“OK, these are chicken eggs,” Pascuale said, which gained him two “duhs” from Billy and Bean. “Well, wait a sec. OK, so these are eggs right? Well, reptiles come from eggs too.”
“So?” Bean said. Sometimes she figured that PZ wasn’t as smart as everyone thought. “What do chicken eggs have to do with Billy’s reptile bellybutton.”
“SHUT UP!” Billy said, punctuating her statement to a smack on Bean’s upper arm.
“OWWW! Quit it!”
While Bean rubbed her sore arm, Pascaule rolled his eyes and continued his thoughts. “Anyway... OK, so chickens come from eggs and reptiles... like alligators... come from eggs. So if both of them come from eggs, we should be able to see a bellybutton on them, right?”
“I don’t know, PZ,” Bean said slowly. “That sounds kind of weird.”
“No it doesn’t. Think about it. If Billy really is a reptile because she has an outie, that would mean that all things coming out of eggs have outies,” Pascuale took an egg in each hand and thrust it in Billy’s and Bean’s faces. “Do either of you see any belly buttons?”
“Not on the egg,” Billy said. “But Pascuale, what about on the inside?”
“Oh,” Pascuale said. He needed more pondering. “Well, I’ve never seen one on the inside either, have you?”
“Well, no, but all I do is eat them scrambled with cheese. I’m not looking for bellybuttons,” Billy said.
“You’ve got a point. We could be eating them and not know it,” Pascuale said.
Bean had had enough. “PZ! THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Look, all we want to know is why we have both have different bellybuttons and why the horseradish we have them anyways! NOW DO YOU KNOW OR NOT!”
Pascuale stood completely unfazed by his friend’s outburst. He turned around and walked toward the sliding glass door that led to his family’s backyard.
“WHERE ARE YA GOING?!” Bean yelled.
Pascuale turned around, “To find a lizard, of course. Maybe a frog, too. Although that’s an amphibian, but it might be a good test.”
He left his friends standing in his kitchen. They both stood quietly, until Billy said. “Does he think I’m a lizard now or a frog?”
“I don’t know. I think he’s crazy. You’re a girl. Period,” Bean said, with an air of confidence.
“Yeah!” Billy exclaimed. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I think we just have two different bellybuttons.”
“But why?” Bean asked. “And what are they used for?”
“Maybe they tell you how well you girls fit each other.”
The girls didn’t notice that Pascuale’s mother was standing at the far end of the counter. She had apparently heard the entire predicament. She walked around the counter to get closer to girls and talked in a soft voice. “You know, girls, everyone’s body is different, and there is no unusual or specific reason why you two have different bellybuttons.”
“But Pascuale said it might because I’m a reptile or something,” Billy said softly.
“Oh, Pascuale is just thinking out loud. He’s a smart boy, but he doesn’t get everything right, no matter what he might think.”
Mrs. Zepparo gave the girls a smile, which made them both smile back. She’s was pretty smart for a grown up.
“Yeah, but what did you mean when you said our bellybuttons say how well we fit?” Bean asked.
“OK. Well, you have an innie bellybutton?” Mrs. Zepparo asked Bean, who nodded yes. “And you have an outie, mija? Billy in turn nodded. “Well, your innie matches her outie. You’re like puzzle pieces that fit together. There are other reasons people have bellybuttons, but you will find that out when you are older. But for now, you can think about how your different bellybuttons are perfect fits for each other. What do you girls think?”
Yup, Mrs. Zepparo seemed a lot smarter than Pascuale to Bean and Billy. They smiled at each other. “That’s pretty cool, Mrs. Z,” Bean said.
“Yeah, thanks Mrs. Zepparo,” Billy said.
“You’re welcome, girls.”
“Hey, since this got figured out we should work on my super secret mission - Operation Rescue The Beast’s New Girlfriend From Possibly Getting Kissed By My Stinky Brother!” Billy said.
“It’s a long name, but it’s got potential.”
The girls said goodbye to Mrs. Zepparo, who told the girls she would tell her son they left.
Mrs. Zepparo then opened the sliding glass door to her backyard to find her son. She didn’t see him right away, but soon heard a scream and the call of “MAMA!”
“Pascuale? Are you OK?”
Pascuale ran up to her looking very nervous. He held out his hand and showed a lizard dangling from his middle finger. “IT WON’T COME OFF!” Pascuale said in a fearful voice, shaking his finger and trying to fling off the creature, who just wouldn’t budge. “I WAS TRYING TO INSPECT WHETHER IT HAD A BELLYBUTTON AND IT BIT ME AND... IT... WON’T... COME... OFF!”
Mrs. Zepparo suppressed her giggle as best as possible, held her son’s shaking hand and with her other hand snatched off the lizard and put him on the ground.
Boys, she thought to herself. Sometimes girls are so much easier.
THE END.
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