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I'm writing a story, and I'm finished with the first part. Please comment! Let me know what you think so far! Keep in mind, it is a rough draft, but I need criticism, so whatever you have to say, I welcome it!
It all started because I had to have my revenge. I couldn’t let him off the hook that easy. Why should I? Because anyone else would let him go? I was a young girl with a broken heart. I vowed that I would show him how it felt to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on. I was definitely not in the right state of mind to be fucked with. I would have my revenge, and show everyone that it’s not a very nice thing to do -play with a teenage girl’s heart.
Well, it wasn’t an easy thing to do. First, I had to change my appearance. Little by little, I changed it all. The way I dressed, the way I wore my hair and the way I wore my makeup. It also wasn’t easy to remain a virgin for so long, but that’s what I did just to taste the sweetness of revenge. When I had long, blonde hair and the right attitude, I decided it was time to make the moves that would inevitably lead to my victory in this game that Robert started playing long ago.
Robert hadn’t done anything more with himself since I had last seen him, except get himself addicted to harder drugs. He still lived with his mom, hardly showered, worked in a fast-food restaurant and sat on his porch in the evenings. He looked the same as he always did, but since I was looking at him with different eyes than I had two years previously, I noticed more than I had let myself before. He had big, beautiful brown eyes that sparkled with mischief when he was up to something, and his head was still covered in russet locks, however, his teeth looked as though they belonged to a beaver-vampire, strange as it may sound. He wasn’t as attractive as I once saw him as, but then, this time I wasn’t looking at him with love. I was looking at him with an emotion so different from love that Shakespeare would roll over in his grave.
He didn’t recognize me when I first strolled up the walkway. His jaw dropped, and he could hardly get a hold of himself. A voice inside me said, it’s not too late to turn back, and forget the whole thing. It’s really not worth it. But, a stronger, more determined voice said, if you don’t go through with this, you’ll regret it, and then where will you be?
I listened to the stronger, more determined voice. I started a conversation with Robert, and before long, had him drooling all over me. I knew then that I would drag it out as long as I could, to make it worse for him in the end, and to put off what I had to do (because it disgusted me) to prove to everyone, and myself, that I was not a force to be reckoned with. I would do whatever I had to. And I did.
I went to Robert’s house as often as I could. I smoked weed with him and drank with him. I must admit, I had fun hanging out with him and I liked a lot of his friends, namely Mark. He was Robert’s best friend. He was very good-looking. Mark’s eyes were brown, but a softer, gentler tone that was three shades paler than a Hershey’s chocolate bar. His hair was lighter, too, (although there were a few months that he had bleached-blonde hair) and it was always clean. Mark believed in personal hygiene, which, as I mentioned earlier, Robert didn’t. He always seemed angry, though. I thought his anger was due to nicotine withdrawal, as he had quit smoking cigarettes as well as marijuana rather suddenly. Either that, or he was merely an asshole.
I brought my friend, Candi, along when I went to Robert’s. Candi was more introverted than anyone I had ever met. She hardly talked to anyone. I was hoping to get her to come out of her protective shell and make some friends. Candi and I grew up living across the street from each other. I remember people making fun of her when we were little. Calling her stupid and ugly. I hated that. My siblings would often taunt her as well. I wanted so badly to be friends with her, but I was afraid that my family would hate me for it. When we were a lot older, I hung out with her sister, Ashley, a lot, and Candi and I started spending time together, too. I noticed how she had changed since we were 5. She was a lot quieter, and it took a lot to get her to answer a question. I felt sorry for her, so I spent time with her. To my surprise, she was a lot smarter than she normally let on, and she was very fun to be around. There was a catch, though. Candi had to know you well enough to be herself around you. She didn’t want people making fun of her, so she would study them first, and once she was sure they wouldn’t pick on her, she would start talking.
Candi had a crush on Mark. She would talk about nothing but him when we were alone. She thought I felt the same way about Robert, but I had to keep it that way, because I couldn’t trust anyone with what I had planned. I couldn’t even write about it in my journal-there’s always a chance someone will find it and read it. No, my deepest thoughts were kept to myself. As long as I kept everyone thinking that I had feelings for Robert, everything would go as I intended it to.
Mark was always warning me about Robert. He would say that he only wanted sex, and I could do better.
“Why are you acting so stupid, Leah? Robert doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and he’s always lying!” He told me one day.
“Mark, you need to get a girl, get laid and mind your own business. Quit taking your sexual frustration out on me.”
“I’m just worried about you. You know that almost everything he says is a lie, but for some reason, you stick around.” Robert did have a knack for lying. He made up stories all the time to tell to anyone who would listen. He told people that he’d broken his neck when he was little, he’d been in high-speed chases with the police, and that he had a black belt. He was also always trying to one-up everyone else. Someone once said that if you were to tell Robert that you had a spaceship, he’d say he had two, but he couldn’t show them to you because he had to sell them to get out of trouble with the mafia. “I don’t think you know what you’re doing.”
I knew Mark was right about Robert being a habitual liar, but it was the sex part that worried me. What if my plan failed? What if I couldn’t get him to fall in love with me and everything I worked so hard for ended up being for nothing? I couldn’t allow that to happen. I resolved to wait, until I was completely sure that Robert was so head-over-heels in love with me that he would cut off his own foot just to be with me, to finish him off.
“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. I’m sorry if you’ve heard otherwise.” I didn’t like who I was being, but I had to stay in character. “I have to go home. I’ll see you later.” When I was a few blocks away from home, I stopped and whistled. Blacky came running out of a yard nearby and meowed at me. She always put a smile on my face. I got down on my knees and gathered her up in my arms. I kissed her softly on her forehead and set her back on the sidewalk.
When I first met Blacky, I didn’t apprehend that she was what I needed to keep myself somewhat commonsensical. I was at a friend’s house, and one of his cats had just had another litter of kittens. I was playing with the more rowdy ones when I spotted her. She was about four inches tall and very timid. Without a doubt, she was the runt of the bunch. I fell in love with her right away. I told my friend she was coming home with me, and since it was February, I put her inside my jacket for warmth. She welcomed it with open paws. As I walked back to my house, I tried to think of what I would tell my parents. Since I couldn’t cook up anything at the moment, and neither parent would want me to keep her, I figured I’d hide her in my room until I thought of something to tell them.
The first couple of hours were rough. She wouldn’t eat anything I put in front of her. I knew she had to be hungry because of how bony she was, even for a runt. I thought she was just afraid as she was just taken from her mother and brothers and sisters, but soon realized it wasn’t that at all. I became hungry myself, so I made a peanut butter and banana sandwich. As I ate, my new kitten studied me very carefully. Slowly, she crept toward me until she was at my feet, trying to claw her way up my legs. I lifted her onto my lap, and she mewed at my sandwich and me. I held it in front of her and she pawed at it. I tore a small piece off and put it down next to her. She gobbled it up quickly and mewed again. I was so happy she was eating that I gave her most of my snack. She then fell asleep on my lap, purring. I watched her for a while, decided I would call her Blacky and then put her in a little bed I made for her.
The next day was very curious. Blacky seemed to be very pleased to see me. I showed her where her food was again, but she wouldn’t touch it. I thought I was going to have a hell of a time getting her to eat cat food. I didn’t know how right I was. My after-school snack this time was an apple. I didn’t think she’d want anything to do with it, but my little Blacky mewed her way onto my lap again. She gazed at the apple with great interest. I bit off as small a piece as I could manage and gave it to her. To my surprise, she ate it and begged for more. A thought jumped into my head. I didn’t want to believe it, but I had to see if it was true. I got up and set Blacky on the floor. I picked up her food dish and pretended to eat a piece of cat food. I set it back down in front of her and she looked at me as if to say, “You think I’m going to fall for that?” I sighed heavily and almost walked away, but changed my mind and picked up the dish again. I picked out another piece and stuck out my tongue. I tried not to grimace as I laid the morsel in my mouth and swallowed. I smiled at Blacky and set down the dish. She went for it, and ate the food ravenously.
It wasn’t until the day after that my mother found me out. I was eating breakfast, and Mom was running around getting ready for work. She walked past my bedroom door and there was a tiny, squeaky noise. Of course, I knew what it was, but Mom stopped and walked to the door. She stared at me with surprise and opened it for my tiny kitten. Mom shook her head.
“Leah, what am I going to do with you?” She inquired.
“Let me live another couple of years?” I suggested. I could tell she was trying not to smile as she watched me lift Blacky up. “I’m trying to find a home for her! I swear!” What I didn’t say was that the home I had in mind was mine.
“Fine, but if you don’t find a home for her, we’re bringing her to the Humane Society.”
“No, we aren’t.” I said it as firmly as I could manage. She knew how I felt about that place. Mom shook her head and continued getting ready. Before she left for the day, she told me to leave the kitten downstairs, so she didn’t have to stay up in my cold room by herself all day. I gladly agreed to that and got myself ready for school. We became inseparable rather quickly. Everywhere I went, Blacky followed. Everything I ate, She ate. She slept with me every night and was there to brighten my every morning.
Blacky ran ahead, looking back every ten feet or so, just to make sure I was still there. When we got home, I sat on the steps next to the side door to my house and watched my baby girl run around after the crisp leaves that were starting to fall from the large maple trees in my backyard. I thought about everything. What am I doing with my life? Am I just wasting my time? Why can’t I have normal goals? Why does everything have to be so hard? What the hell is that thing Blacky’s setting down at my feet? I came to the conclusion that none of my questions would be answered that night, and hoped that the poor creature displayed lifeless in front of me didn’t have fleas.
Blacky and I went inside. I glanced at my backpack, considered doing my homework, and settled on playing Mega Bomberman on Sega Genesis. When I was almost at the last level, I trapped my little guy between a bomb and a strange-but-cool looking villain. I didn’t feel like going back through every world to get the power-ups I needed, so I went to sleep.
That night, I dreamt that Robert, Mark, Candi and I were sitting on Robert’s porch on a bright sunny day. We listened to music and joked with each other like we always did. Then, one by one, we turned into grapes. Mark was sour, but what’s new? After hanging out in the sun for a while, everyone started drying out and became raisins.
I woke to my alarm clock with a start, and got out of bed to shower. I went to school and sat miserably through my morning classes. I never was able to function properly in the morning. God forbid a teacher should ever call upon me to answer a question. Even if I knew the answer already, I couldn’t say it quick enough, and my response never varied from an “I don’t know.” When lunchtime rolled around every day, I was famished, and tried to get there quickly, so I would have enough time to eat. I hated the idea of trying to eat my entire lunch in such a short time, then having to return to class right away. Afternoon classes were so much easier for me. I’d been fed, I usually got a good nap in during a morning class and everyone else was much more alive, too.
It all started because I had to have my revenge. I couldn’t let him off the hook that easy. Why should I? Because anyone else would let him go? I was a young girl with a broken heart. I vowed that I would show him how it felt to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on. I was definitely not in the right state of mind to be fucked with. I would have my revenge, and show everyone that it’s not a very nice thing to do -play with a teenage girl’s heart.
Well, it wasn’t an easy thing to do. First, I had to change my appearance. Little by little, I changed it all. The way I dressed, the way I wore my hair and the way I wore my makeup. It also wasn’t easy to remain a virgin for so long, but that’s what I did just to taste the sweetness of revenge. When I had long, blonde hair and the right attitude, I decided it was time to make the moves that would inevitably lead to my victory in this game that Robert started playing long ago.
Robert hadn’t done anything more with himself since I had last seen him, except get himself addicted to harder drugs. He still lived with his mom, hardly showered, worked in a fast-food restaurant and sat on his porch in the evenings. He looked the same as he always did, but since I was looking at him with different eyes than I had two years previously, I noticed more than I had let myself before. He had big, beautiful brown eyes that sparkled with mischief when he was up to something, and his head was still covered in russet locks, however, his teeth looked as though they belonged to a beaver-vampire, strange as it may sound. He wasn’t as attractive as I once saw him as, but then, this time I wasn’t looking at him with love. I was looking at him with an emotion so different from love that Shakespeare would roll over in his grave.
He didn’t recognize me when I first strolled up the walkway. His jaw dropped, and he could hardly get a hold of himself. A voice inside me said, it’s not too late to turn back, and forget the whole thing. It’s really not worth it. But, a stronger, more determined voice said, if you don’t go through with this, you’ll regret it, and then where will you be?
I listened to the stronger, more determined voice. I started a conversation with Robert, and before long, had him drooling all over me. I knew then that I would drag it out as long as I could, to make it worse for him in the end, and to put off what I had to do (because it disgusted me) to prove to everyone, and myself, that I was not a force to be reckoned with. I would do whatever I had to. And I did.
I went to Robert’s house as often as I could. I smoked weed with him and drank with him. I must admit, I had fun hanging out with him and I liked a lot of his friends, namely Mark. He was Robert’s best friend. He was very good-looking. Mark’s eyes were brown, but a softer, gentler tone that was three shades paler than a Hershey’s chocolate bar. His hair was lighter, too, (although there were a few months that he had bleached-blonde hair) and it was always clean. Mark believed in personal hygiene, which, as I mentioned earlier, Robert didn’t. He always seemed angry, though. I thought his anger was due to nicotine withdrawal, as he had quit smoking cigarettes as well as marijuana rather suddenly. Either that, or he was merely an asshole.
I brought my friend, Candi, along when I went to Robert’s. Candi was more introverted than anyone I had ever met. She hardly talked to anyone. I was hoping to get her to come out of her protective shell and make some friends. Candi and I grew up living across the street from each other. I remember people making fun of her when we were little. Calling her stupid and ugly. I hated that. My siblings would often taunt her as well. I wanted so badly to be friends with her, but I was afraid that my family would hate me for it. When we were a lot older, I hung out with her sister, Ashley, a lot, and Candi and I started spending time together, too. I noticed how she had changed since we were 5. She was a lot quieter, and it took a lot to get her to answer a question. I felt sorry for her, so I spent time with her. To my surprise, she was a lot smarter than she normally let on, and she was very fun to be around. There was a catch, though. Candi had to know you well enough to be herself around you. She didn’t want people making fun of her, so she would study them first, and once she was sure they wouldn’t pick on her, she would start talking.
Candi had a crush on Mark. She would talk about nothing but him when we were alone. She thought I felt the same way about Robert, but I had to keep it that way, because I couldn’t trust anyone with what I had planned. I couldn’t even write about it in my journal-there’s always a chance someone will find it and read it. No, my deepest thoughts were kept to myself. As long as I kept everyone thinking that I had feelings for Robert, everything would go as I intended it to.
Mark was always warning me about Robert. He would say that he only wanted sex, and I could do better.
“Why are you acting so stupid, Leah? Robert doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and he’s always lying!” He told me one day.
“Mark, you need to get a girl, get laid and mind your own business. Quit taking your sexual frustration out on me.”
“I’m just worried about you. You know that almost everything he says is a lie, but for some reason, you stick around.” Robert did have a knack for lying. He made up stories all the time to tell to anyone who would listen. He told people that he’d broken his neck when he was little, he’d been in high-speed chases with the police, and that he had a black belt. He was also always trying to one-up everyone else. Someone once said that if you were to tell Robert that you had a spaceship, he’d say he had two, but he couldn’t show them to you because he had to sell them to get out of trouble with the mafia. “I don’t think you know what you’re doing.”
I knew Mark was right about Robert being a habitual liar, but it was the sex part that worried me. What if my plan failed? What if I couldn’t get him to fall in love with me and everything I worked so hard for ended up being for nothing? I couldn’t allow that to happen. I resolved to wait, until I was completely sure that Robert was so head-over-heels in love with me that he would cut off his own foot just to be with me, to finish him off.
“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. I’m sorry if you’ve heard otherwise.” I didn’t like who I was being, but I had to stay in character. “I have to go home. I’ll see you later.” When I was a few blocks away from home, I stopped and whistled. Blacky came running out of a yard nearby and meowed at me. She always put a smile on my face. I got down on my knees and gathered her up in my arms. I kissed her softly on her forehead and set her back on the sidewalk.
When I first met Blacky, I didn’t apprehend that she was what I needed to keep myself somewhat commonsensical. I was at a friend’s house, and one of his cats had just had another litter of kittens. I was playing with the more rowdy ones when I spotted her. She was about four inches tall and very timid. Without a doubt, she was the runt of the bunch. I fell in love with her right away. I told my friend she was coming home with me, and since it was February, I put her inside my jacket for warmth. She welcomed it with open paws. As I walked back to my house, I tried to think of what I would tell my parents. Since I couldn’t cook up anything at the moment, and neither parent would want me to keep her, I figured I’d hide her in my room until I thought of something to tell them.
The first couple of hours were rough. She wouldn’t eat anything I put in front of her. I knew she had to be hungry because of how bony she was, even for a runt. I thought she was just afraid as she was just taken from her mother and brothers and sisters, but soon realized it wasn’t that at all. I became hungry myself, so I made a peanut butter and banana sandwich. As I ate, my new kitten studied me very carefully. Slowly, she crept toward me until she was at my feet, trying to claw her way up my legs. I lifted her onto my lap, and she mewed at my sandwich and me. I held it in front of her and she pawed at it. I tore a small piece off and put it down next to her. She gobbled it up quickly and mewed again. I was so happy she was eating that I gave her most of my snack. She then fell asleep on my lap, purring. I watched her for a while, decided I would call her Blacky and then put her in a little bed I made for her.
The next day was very curious. Blacky seemed to be very pleased to see me. I showed her where her food was again, but she wouldn’t touch it. I thought I was going to have a hell of a time getting her to eat cat food. I didn’t know how right I was. My after-school snack this time was an apple. I didn’t think she’d want anything to do with it, but my little Blacky mewed her way onto my lap again. She gazed at the apple with great interest. I bit off as small a piece as I could manage and gave it to her. To my surprise, she ate it and begged for more. A thought jumped into my head. I didn’t want to believe it, but I had to see if it was true. I got up and set Blacky on the floor. I picked up her food dish and pretended to eat a piece of cat food. I set it back down in front of her and she looked at me as if to say, “You think I’m going to fall for that?” I sighed heavily and almost walked away, but changed my mind and picked up the dish again. I picked out another piece and stuck out my tongue. I tried not to grimace as I laid the morsel in my mouth and swallowed. I smiled at Blacky and set down the dish. She went for it, and ate the food ravenously.
It wasn’t until the day after that my mother found me out. I was eating breakfast, and Mom was running around getting ready for work. She walked past my bedroom door and there was a tiny, squeaky noise. Of course, I knew what it was, but Mom stopped and walked to the door. She stared at me with surprise and opened it for my tiny kitten. Mom shook her head.
“Leah, what am I going to do with you?” She inquired.
“Let me live another couple of years?” I suggested. I could tell she was trying not to smile as she watched me lift Blacky up. “I’m trying to find a home for her! I swear!” What I didn’t say was that the home I had in mind was mine.
“Fine, but if you don’t find a home for her, we’re bringing her to the Humane Society.”
“No, we aren’t.” I said it as firmly as I could manage. She knew how I felt about that place. Mom shook her head and continued getting ready. Before she left for the day, she told me to leave the kitten downstairs, so she didn’t have to stay up in my cold room by herself all day. I gladly agreed to that and got myself ready for school. We became inseparable rather quickly. Everywhere I went, Blacky followed. Everything I ate, She ate. She slept with me every night and was there to brighten my every morning.
Blacky ran ahead, looking back every ten feet or so, just to make sure I was still there. When we got home, I sat on the steps next to the side door to my house and watched my baby girl run around after the crisp leaves that were starting to fall from the large maple trees in my backyard. I thought about everything. What am I doing with my life? Am I just wasting my time? Why can’t I have normal goals? Why does everything have to be so hard? What the hell is that thing Blacky’s setting down at my feet? I came to the conclusion that none of my questions would be answered that night, and hoped that the poor creature displayed lifeless in front of me didn’t have fleas.
Blacky and I went inside. I glanced at my backpack, considered doing my homework, and settled on playing Mega Bomberman on Sega Genesis. When I was almost at the last level, I trapped my little guy between a bomb and a strange-but-cool looking villain. I didn’t feel like going back through every world to get the power-ups I needed, so I went to sleep.
That night, I dreamt that Robert, Mark, Candi and I were sitting on Robert’s porch on a bright sunny day. We listened to music and joked with each other like we always did. Then, one by one, we turned into grapes. Mark was sour, but what’s new? After hanging out in the sun for a while, everyone started drying out and became raisins.
I woke to my alarm clock with a start, and got out of bed to shower. I went to school and sat miserably through my morning classes. I never was able to function properly in the morning. God forbid a teacher should ever call upon me to answer a question. Even if I knew the answer already, I couldn’t say it quick enough, and my response never varied from an “I don’t know.” When lunchtime rolled around every day, I was famished, and tried to get there quickly, so I would have enough time to eat. I hated the idea of trying to eat my entire lunch in such a short time, then having to return to class right away. Afternoon classes were so much easier for me. I’d been fed, I usually got a good nap in during a morning class and everyone else was much more alive, too.