Changing Perspectives
I used to think that I "knew people," whatever that means. I understood why people acted a certain way for the most part. Some people seemed so put together. I realize now that I just didn't know these people well enough to understand their difficulties. But now my perception has changed. Everything seems so different. There aren't people who say the right things all the time, or people who I can assume have one predominant characteristic.No one fits into the little stereotypical boxes in my head anymore. People are strange. I used to think that there were some people who were simply "normal." I knew this was a naive view, even at the time, but now I see even more flaws with it. What the hell is "normal" anyway?
And here I find that people are so diverse. Some people are amazing. Mandi is one of those people, she's always doing something positive and helping everyone else. Her shy smile and cute pigtails are always a sign that she's there for support or just companionship. I love her little sticky notes with words of encouragement. And I now realize that I am really going to miss her as a roommate. I know she'll come visit me, and I'll be spending time at Parish House, but what I really regret is that we didn't get to know each other better. I had a warped view that she disliked me from the start. I perceived myself as the annoying, wild roommate who would chat on the phone for hours and was basically a selfish, frustrating person. Clearly I am not wild, and don't really embody the characteristics I perceived for myself, but nevertheless I still felt like a burden. (This is much like the fact that I thought I had an enormously large ass up until recently when I discovered that, in fact, I have a rather small derriere) Anyway, I finally realized that she didn't hate me at all and actually rather liked me. So now I'm sad that I allowed myself to maintain such a warped vision of our relationship, and wish that we could have started to get to know each other sooner. But we're supposed to go out to dinner sometime, and that should definitely be a lovely evening.
*sigh* If only I knew then what I know now...
And here I find that people are so diverse. Some people are amazing. Mandi is one of those people, she's always doing something positive and helping everyone else. Her shy smile and cute pigtails are always a sign that she's there for support or just companionship. I love her little sticky notes with words of encouragement. And I now realize that I am really going to miss her as a roommate. I know she'll come visit me, and I'll be spending time at Parish House, but what I really regret is that we didn't get to know each other better. I had a warped view that she disliked me from the start. I perceived myself as the annoying, wild roommate who would chat on the phone for hours and was basically a selfish, frustrating person. Clearly I am not wild, and don't really embody the characteristics I perceived for myself, but nevertheless I still felt like a burden. (This is much like the fact that I thought I had an enormously large ass up until recently when I discovered that, in fact, I have a rather small derriere) Anyway, I finally realized that she didn't hate me at all and actually rather liked me. So now I'm sad that I allowed myself to maintain such a warped vision of our relationship, and wish that we could have started to get to know each other sooner. But we're supposed to go out to dinner sometime, and that should definitely be a lovely evening.
*sigh* If only I knew then what I know now...