rambles
It feels like everyone is leaving. I've got friends going to New Zealand, Tasmania, Adelaide, Queensland... Everyone’s scattering everywhere.
You’d think, if people were going to leave, they would have done it this time last year, when we finished school. But I guess nobody gave it a lot of serious thought because that’s not what you do in Australia - you go to uni’s close to you, and most people still live at home. We’ve all been trained to think that Melbourne Uni is the best place you can end up at, so a whole lot of us went there and then went, ‘well hey, this isn’t so great.’
So now, people are moving on. Going other places. Other states, other countries even. Three of my good friends are either already gone or going soon, and it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. We were all supposed to love uni and see each other all the time and all graduate together. But that didn’t happen and now they’re leaving and everything’s changing. Again.
Even with my sister things are different at the moment. She’s just come back from being in America for six months and it’s great to have her back, really, but it’s different. I used to think we were close, more like friends than sisters, but now it’s like we’re just co-inhabitors of the same house. I never even see her - if I’m home she’s out and if she’s home, I’m out. But still, it used to be that when she went out with her friends I got invited, as if I was one of them instead of just a little sister tagging along. Since she came home, her friends are her friends. I don’t get to join in anymore.
Plus I’m failing at writing - I’m posting all of my old stuff here but there’s nothing new to join it. I’m supposed to be writing all this wicked stuff, and not because I have to or anything, I was genuinely excited about it when I started, but I’m finding it way more difficult than I expected. I’m thinking maybe I’ll cut my table down to 20 cos I just can’t write that many. It seems so enormous that I can’t even start. And the new year of uni starts in two weeks and I have to do well now - they don’t look at first year scores when you apply for post-grad courses, but second year matters. Scraping through with 50% just won’t cut it this year. I have to work.
And I’ve run out of peanut butter cups. Can someone please go to America to get me some more??