(no subject)
I want to write something nice for you ..but it wouldn't really be for you...because you're gone ...so really its for me...because I'm still here and my life is without another friend that I love intensly now. I'm looking at the end of my bed and thinking you should be there. I hate myself for all the little habits that didn't disappear as aburptly as you did....for reaching for your leash at the door in the morning...for sleeping all curled up so that the bed can fit the two of us...for expecting you to still greet me at the door. For eleven years you've been my best friend and I hope I made that entirly clear to you. I'm devestated that you are gone... you've helped me through every hard time growing up and now that my pain revolves around your absence I have nowhere to turn. Theres bones and dog toys on the floor, dog treats in the cabinet, a grave in the garden a few feet from the place I last saw you and a world of people that don't understand grief over the loss of a dog ..and I'd take your company over theirs any day. You were someone who loved me unconditionally no matter how badly I fucked up. When Danielle died you rested your head on my feet and you stayed there the whole night even though you like to sleep with your head on a pillow because I move too much in my sleep. You were incrediably loyal and exceptionally smart and never missed an opportunity to demonstrate that. You snored ...loudly...but my room is too quiet at night without you. You let me know which boys you approved of and which ones you didn't. you were an excellent judge of character and you had more character than alot of the people I've met in my life. You could sing happy birthday ! I think thats one of my favirote memories ...noone taught you to do it or anything you could just sing happy birthday...everyone will miss that on their birthdays.You understood me. I know you would have stayed if you could have...that was the one thing we always had to work on with you...teaching you to stay...always running away...you always came back though....thank you for being my friend... I love you I'll miss you forever.