Insomnia
So its just about 1:30 and Im still up. Real cool. I honestly just dont know what to do with myself anymore.
Graduation is... oh...today. I cant even get over how weird that is. And how f'ing tired Im going to be.
Everything has been strange. I dont know what it is. Ive been so weird, and felt so weird... and sometimes I let my emotions take over me. And Im not even saying this to be gay... but like I've been acting on how I feel. And I'll tell other people. Which is good I guess becuase then I can have my own "peace of mind" but I feel like an ass after I do it. I guess what Im trying to do is justify what Ive done. I honestly feel like an idiot. For what Ive said. For what Ive felt. And it sucks becuase I cant control this.
Im afraid for next year. For not having the security of a smaller school. And seeing the same people every day. And that I wont see people I want to. I hate being the one who always has to make an effort. But I guess I will becuase I just care that much. Sometimes I just wish I didnt care as much as I do. I totally over-analyze things too.
I also love how I beat around the bush in this... but I cant say any names so whatever.
WOW. tomorrows gonna suck becuase I'll be dead tired. I guess I should go.... KBye.
Graduation is... oh...today. I cant even get over how weird that is. And how f'ing tired Im going to be.
Everything has been strange. I dont know what it is. Ive been so weird, and felt so weird... and sometimes I let my emotions take over me. And Im not even saying this to be gay... but like I've been acting on how I feel. And I'll tell other people. Which is good I guess becuase then I can have my own "peace of mind" but I feel like an ass after I do it. I guess what Im trying to do is justify what Ive done. I honestly feel like an idiot. For what Ive said. For what Ive felt. And it sucks becuase I cant control this.
Im afraid for next year. For not having the security of a smaller school. And seeing the same people every day. And that I wont see people I want to. I hate being the one who always has to make an effort. But I guess I will becuase I just care that much. Sometimes I just wish I didnt care as much as I do. I totally over-analyze things too.
I also love how I beat around the bush in this... but I cant say any names so whatever.
WOW. tomorrows gonna suck becuase I'll be dead tired. I guess I should go.... KBye.