God's Conversation with Moses
M: Hi God, there are some issues on earth that I think you should address.
G: Not now, Moses, Can't you see that I'm watching the ballgame. A nice bunch of young men they're always thanking me!
M: I have to talk to you about that. How come all the Christian players show their respect for Jesus, but none of the Jewish players show any deference to me?
G: Jewish Players?
M: There are a couple! That kid in Boston and that Greene kid who played for the Mets.
G: It's not practical. What to you want them to do, drop the bat and make the design of a double triangle? It just doesn't work!
M. I saw that trade. I guess that you're rooting for the Mets this year. I wish that you'd consider my feelings. You know that I'm a Dodger fan.
G: Oh, I've taken care of you in the past. Didn't I give you Koufax?
M: That was 50 years ago. And then you played that trick on me. You moved them to Los Angeles. Do you know how difficult it was to get to Los Angeles in 1958? I had to make a stopover in Purgatory!
G: That wasn't Purgatory, that was Omaha!
M: Interesting Distinction! By the way Jesus is claiming that he's your son again. Can you talk with him?
G: Leave him alone. He's a nice boy! A little thin, maybe. Maybe you can take him to Zabars for Lunch.
M. You know what happened the last time.
G: I'll tell him to leave Mary Magdalen and those 12 friends of his at home.
M: Mary can come along. She's one hot Shikse! You'll speak to him about that son of God stuff.
G: I don't know. It is possible. I did get around in those days! I do remember this young lady in Bethlehem. She claimed to be a virgin. Maybe, who knows?
M: Can it be anywhere but Zabars. He always insists upon the bread being unleavened. My stomach hasn't recovered from eating that stuff for 40 years in the desert.
G: Not now, Moses, Can't you see that I'm watching the ballgame. A nice bunch of young men they're always thanking me!
M: I have to talk to you about that. How come all the Christian players show their respect for Jesus, but none of the Jewish players show any deference to me?
G: Jewish Players?
M: There are a couple! That kid in Boston and that Greene kid who played for the Mets.
G: It's not practical. What to you want them to do, drop the bat and make the design of a double triangle? It just doesn't work!
M. I saw that trade. I guess that you're rooting for the Mets this year. I wish that you'd consider my feelings. You know that I'm a Dodger fan.
G: Oh, I've taken care of you in the past. Didn't I give you Koufax?
M: That was 50 years ago. And then you played that trick on me. You moved them to Los Angeles. Do you know how difficult it was to get to Los Angeles in 1958? I had to make a stopover in Purgatory!
G: That wasn't Purgatory, that was Omaha!
M: Interesting Distinction! By the way Jesus is claiming that he's your son again. Can you talk with him?
G: Leave him alone. He's a nice boy! A little thin, maybe. Maybe you can take him to Zabars for Lunch.
M. You know what happened the last time.
G: I'll tell him to leave Mary Magdalen and those 12 friends of his at home.
M: Mary can come along. She's one hot Shikse! You'll speak to him about that son of God stuff.
G: I don't know. It is possible. I did get around in those days! I do remember this young lady in Bethlehem. She claimed to be a virgin. Maybe, who knows?
M: Can it be anywhere but Zabars. He always insists upon the bread being unleavened. My stomach hasn't recovered from eating that stuff for 40 years in the desert.