Nasty-ass Effing Cockroaches!
I'm so insane!!!!! Jason and I have lived here in this apartment for like 2 years now, and only in the past month have we seen ANY cockroaches. We are oober clean (okay I am oober clean, together we are mostly clean) and the little bastards chose not to vacation in our apartment until now. WHY!!!??? I have heard on the news that there is a major crazy outbreak of cockroaches in the GTA (remember that news story where the entire warehouse of food had to get thrown in the trash?) but I am not mentally prepared to encounter cockroaches in my personal space!
Everybody I tell just looks at me with sympathy (the scary part is it looks like genuine sympathy!) and says the same 2 phrases which by the way do NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! Phrase #1: Well you know, if you've seen one there are more to follow, and Phrase 2: Well you know, once you've got them you'll never get rid of them. Well YOU know that you can kiss my ass because I am a cockroaches worst nightmare. I will not submit, shrug my shoulders, sigh, allow them to move in. NO. I will murder them one at a time until they wish they never tried to invade my apartment. I have purchased Ecofriendly Cockroach Spray and Powder. I have systematically gone through my house room by room, closet by closet, removing everything from the space, spraying, filling any cracks or holes in the walls, and putting things back. This is no easy task since our apartment has lots of random holes (I've discovered in the past weeks) and SIX closets. We have 4 enormous closets side by side down the hallway, and one closet per bedroom. As of this moment, I have cleaned out 5 of the closets, the final one being Jason's. I even took out everything from every cubbord in the whole house and re-organized, checking all food sources for infestation. I purchased an airtight garbage for the kitchen and bathroom. I bought bins to store our posessions, and a hardkore laundry hamper.
I HATE THEM. I watched one crawl into my bin full of winter sweaters, then had to take them out one by one and shake them out. My current count since we've moved in: 1 big one in the study, 2 baby ones in the bedroom (this was 2 nights ago - I noticed them when I stayed up from 12 midnight until 6:45am reading my amazing book...it makes me wonder how many have actually been in my bedroom in the wee hours of the night), none in the bathroom, one in clothes bin from the hall closet, none in the living room and dining room, and several in the kitchen - mostly babies at this point which is disgusting.
I know that once the get in, they nest in your couch and lay eggs and other nasty shit. I LOVE my couch. I must protect it at all costs. Some of you are quite aware that my couch is amazing! It's a sectional, and can easily sleep 3 people fully stretched out. So much more comfy than my previous black sofa set which cost $500 for 3 pieces, was made from wood and fabric by a chinese man in Hamilton (okay, maybe there is a smattering of stuffing/foam but it sure didn't feel that way!) and was designed to analyate your ass.
Point being, if the cockroaches won't leave and I lose my noble battle, I swear to god I am moving. Not because I can't live with bugs - god knows I hung out with an army of ants in Tallahassee - and not because they are nasty and disgusting, no I will move to save my beloved sectional couch that I paid so much money for (and then paid to truck it from Florida back to Ontario).
And the embittering part (hahaha....I know, it all sounds pretty bitter) is that I don't even want to live in an apartment, I so desperately want a house. *sigh* First comes job, then comes mortgage.
So that is my rant for now. I'm going to go and clean my bookshelf now before I pick up Jason at 2:30am tonight (I have to because those damned subway TTC workers have gone on strike for the weekend).
Wish me good luck! Send me positive cockroach murdering vibes!
Everybody I tell just looks at me with sympathy (the scary part is it looks like genuine sympathy!) and says the same 2 phrases which by the way do NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! Phrase #1: Well you know, if you've seen one there are more to follow, and Phrase 2: Well you know, once you've got them you'll never get rid of them. Well YOU know that you can kiss my ass because I am a cockroaches worst nightmare. I will not submit, shrug my shoulders, sigh, allow them to move in. NO. I will murder them one at a time until they wish they never tried to invade my apartment. I have purchased Ecofriendly Cockroach Spray and Powder. I have systematically gone through my house room by room, closet by closet, removing everything from the space, spraying, filling any cracks or holes in the walls, and putting things back. This is no easy task since our apartment has lots of random holes (I've discovered in the past weeks) and SIX closets. We have 4 enormous closets side by side down the hallway, and one closet per bedroom. As of this moment, I have cleaned out 5 of the closets, the final one being Jason's. I even took out everything from every cubbord in the whole house and re-organized, checking all food sources for infestation. I purchased an airtight garbage for the kitchen and bathroom. I bought bins to store our posessions, and a hardkore laundry hamper.
I HATE THEM. I watched one crawl into my bin full of winter sweaters, then had to take them out one by one and shake them out. My current count since we've moved in: 1 big one in the study, 2 baby ones in the bedroom (this was 2 nights ago - I noticed them when I stayed up from 12 midnight until 6:45am reading my amazing book...it makes me wonder how many have actually been in my bedroom in the wee hours of the night), none in the bathroom, one in clothes bin from the hall closet, none in the living room and dining room, and several in the kitchen - mostly babies at this point which is disgusting.
I know that once the get in, they nest in your couch and lay eggs and other nasty shit. I LOVE my couch. I must protect it at all costs. Some of you are quite aware that my couch is amazing! It's a sectional, and can easily sleep 3 people fully stretched out. So much more comfy than my previous black sofa set which cost $500 for 3 pieces, was made from wood and fabric by a chinese man in Hamilton (okay, maybe there is a smattering of stuffing/foam but it sure didn't feel that way!) and was designed to analyate your ass.
Point being, if the cockroaches won't leave and I lose my noble battle, I swear to god I am moving. Not because I can't live with bugs - god knows I hung out with an army of ants in Tallahassee - and not because they are nasty and disgusting, no I will move to save my beloved sectional couch that I paid so much money for (and then paid to truck it from Florida back to Ontario).
And the embittering part (hahaha....I know, it all sounds pretty bitter) is that I don't even want to live in an apartment, I so desperately want a house. *sigh* First comes job, then comes mortgage.
So that is my rant for now. I'm going to go and clean my bookshelf now before I pick up Jason at 2:30am tonight (I have to because those damned subway TTC workers have gone on strike for the weekend).
Wish me good luck! Send me positive cockroach murdering vibes!