Prefect pregnancy. Went into labour on my due date, went to hospital as soon as I was admited I knew something was wrong. Midwife broke my water on my request ( which I would have NEVER allowed because I wanted a completely natural birth) saw that it was filled with blood. I was rushed into a crash c section under general because my placenta started detaching before it should. I bled so much I needed 2 units of blood. Baby swallowed about a pound of blood (thank god she didnt inhale it). I wasn't allowed to see her for 17 hours and 47 minutes, they allowed every single person known to man in that nicu to hold her before I could. When I finally could see her, thye wouldn't alloow me to breastfeed her because of swallowing the blood. They wanted her to digest it first (umm but wouldnt eating and shitting make a baby digest it?). I was soo drugged up and sick from blood loss that I didn't fight. They kept her there for 7 days and released me after 4. I was soo terrified that someone would steal my baby from me after she came home that I spiraled into a deep depression that kept me from even going outside of my house for months. I couldn't drive my car, nothing. Only thing I could do was take care of my baby. Now,at 16 months postpartum I am finally getting my life back. I drive again, I am working and I enjoy going to the park with my baby. My only saving grace was that breastfeeding was the most enjoyable thing ever. I never had one problem. she refused bottles in the nicu while I was gone. I had to pump round the clock to bring in my milk for the first three days of her life. It physically pains me when mothers give half assed excuses why they couldnt. I understand you have a "choice" but give it a good go before hand. It really isnt that hard when you have good help.
I really want another baby later on. But now I have the trouble of finding a care giver that won't automatically c section me before I even get to a due date. Now days VBAC (vaginal birth after cesearan) is vitually unheard of. In order for me to get one I basically have to give birth at home (which I am seriously thinking about) or lie to your doctor, not show up for hte c section and come in basically shoving your kid out.
It's just sad that woman are not in control of this aspect of our lives. It really infurates me that this is NOT considered a reproductive right. We can abort our children, place them up for adoption, but we have NO choice how to birth our children. We are cohersed, battered and sometimes physically forced into interventions that we don't need because American Ob's would rather cover their asses than deliver a baby. They would rather give you every intervention in the book and say " Ohh i tried" and risk death, birth injuries and whatnot than wait it out, because the climate is so bad that they fear being sued. hospitals are "banning" VBAC's now. But what they don't tell you is it is illegal to deny a woman the right to birth how she choses.
I get so riled up about this. C sections are for medical emergency's. I thank god every damn day for mine. I would have died and not to mention my daughter. I am very greatful for the skill my "surgeon" had (notice I don't say OB. He was crap after my delivery) in getting my daughter out in 13 minutes. BUT afterwards he didnt see me in the hospital at all. He calld me once to tel me i needed blood and when I asked what happend he hung up on me. I saw my midwife in there everyday, but she acted like my birth was beautiful. Talking about it doesnt upset me anymore, it helps. Because if it can help one woman to learn a bit more, fight a bit more then I am glad. People say I shouldnt scare pregnant ladies out there with this story. I wish someone would have shared this with me before hand so I would have known.
Prefect pregnancy. Went into labour on my due date, went to hospital as soon as I was admited I knew something was wrong. Midwife broke my water on my request ( which I would have NEVER allowed because I wanted a completely natural birth) saw that it was filled with blood. I was rushed into a crash c section under general because my placenta started detaching before it should. I bled so much I needed 2 units of blood. Baby swallowed about a pound of blood (thank god she didnt inhale it). I wasn't allowed to see her for 17 hours and 47 minutes, they allowed every single person known to man in that nicu to hold her before I could. When I finally could see her, thye wouldn't alloow me to breastfeed her because of swallowing the blood. They wanted her to digest it first (umm but wouldnt eating and shitting make a baby digest it?). I was soo drugged up and sick from blood loss that I didn't fight. They kept her there for 7 days and released me after 4. I was soo terrified that someone would steal my baby from me after she came home that I spiraled into a deep depression that kept me from even going outside of my house for months. I couldn't drive my car, nothing. Only thing I could do was take care of my baby. Now,at 16 months postpartum I am finally getting my life back. I drive again, I am working and I enjoy going to the park with my baby. My only saving grace was that breastfeeding was the most enjoyable thing ever. I never had one problem. she refused bottles in the nicu while I was gone. I had to pump round the clock to bring in my milk for the first three days of her life. It physically pains me when mothers give half assed excuses why they couldnt. I understand you have a "choice" but give it a good go before hand. It really isnt that hard when you have good help.
Okay, I think I am done now haha.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
It's just sad that woman are not in control of this aspect of our lives. It really infurates me that this is NOT considered a reproductive right. We can abort our children, place them up for adoption, but we have NO choice how to birth our children. We are cohersed, battered and sometimes physically forced into interventions that we don't need because American Ob's would rather cover their asses than deliver a baby. They would rather give you every intervention in the book and say " Ohh i tried" and risk death, birth injuries and whatnot than wait it out, because the climate is so bad that they fear being sued. hospitals are "banning" VBAC's now. But what they don't tell you is it is illegal to deny a woman the right to birth how she choses.
I get so riled up about this. C sections are for medical emergency's. I thank god every damn day for mine. I would have died and not to mention my daughter. I am very greatful for the skill my "surgeon" had (notice I don't say OB. He was crap after my delivery) in getting my daughter out in 13 minutes. BUT afterwards he didnt see me in the hospital at all. He calld me once to tel me i needed blood and when I asked what happend he hung up on me. I saw my midwife in there everyday, but she acted like my birth was beautiful. Talking about it doesnt upset me anymore, it helps. Because if it can help one woman to learn a bit more, fight a bit more then I am glad. People say I shouldnt scare pregnant ladies out there with this story. I wish someone would have shared this with me before hand so I would have known.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
I post lots of baby pictures ( I promise you she isnt ugly, or I would have hid her like baby Suri)and talk lots out of my ass.
Reply
Leave a comment