Looking for a little feedback
Anyone want to help me out with the last piece of this? It feels like something is missing, but I'm not sure what. Someone suggested more angst before the secret comes out, but I don't want to get into the backstory as these pieces are supposed to be about the secrets being revealed. It was interesting how hard it was to write, almost as if it were my secret that I'd been keeping for a long time.
Title: Sharing Secrets
Author: jelazakazone
Fandom: Merlin
Pairings/characters:Merlin, Gwaine, Gwen, Arthur, Merlin/Arthur
Rating: R
Word Count: about 1400
Warnings: dragonspeak?
Summary: 3 times Merlin reveals his magic
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am not intending to profit from them
Author’s notes: So, this is the third part of a series exploring non-sexual intimacies among pairings that are non-sexual, asexual (or something in between non and sexual), and sexual. Thanks to feedback from members of the writingcafe! And thanks to Anon X for the set up for Merlin's magic reveal to Arthur.
Merlin had many friends; Gwaine had one. Or so he said. What Gwaine didn’t know was Merlin’s big secret. Only a handful of people alive knew his it. Merlin had been keeping his magic hidden for almost as long as he could remember. Now that Uther was dead and Arthur and Gwen were ruling Camelot, Merlin was ready to test the waters.
“Oi, Gwaine. Let’s go down to the tavern and get a drink.”
“I’m always up for a drink with you, Merlin.”
They walked down the bustling streets in companionable silence, bumping into each other occasionally as they navigated the crowd. Daylight was waning as they crossed the threshold of the tavern, stopping momentarily as their eyes adjusted to the dark interior. The tavern was full at this time of day; people stopped for supper and conversation, but Merlin headed towards a small table in a corner which he had spied.
The young waitress approached and Merlin ordered Gwaine’s favorites: ale, roast with gravy and bread, and pickled eggs for both of them. Gwaine raised his eyebrows, looking questioningly at Merlin.
“Sooo, you trying to butter me up? Get me to help you polish the army’s boots again?”
“No, nothing like that. Why?”
“Well, you just ordered my favorites,is all.”
“Can’t a friend treat a friend to dinner?”
“Sure, Merlin, sure.”
“Gwaine, do you remember when we first met?”
“Of course.”
“Do you remember anything unusual about it?”
“Hmmm, nope. Not really. Why?”
“What about that time we were attacked by wyvern? Did you really think that you fought them off?”
“Oh, now that was a good time, wasn’t it?” Gwaine chuckled and scratched his beard.
“Gwaine! We could have been eaten by wyvern. That’s not what I call a good time.”
Gwaine reached out and patted Merlin’s arm. “Ok, you’re right. Being wyvern fodder is not fun. Oh, you had something to do with that?”
Merlin sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He nodded. Gwaine lips quirked into a smile that split his face. He reached over and clapped Merlin on the shoulder.
“I always knew there was something a little different about you, my friend!”
Merlin/Gwen
From ep 4.08 (Lamia)
I don’t understand it. Why have only the knights been enchanted. Why not us as well?
You’re a woman.
So?
All the victims have been men.
So why haven’t you fallen under her spell?
I’ve just been lucky I suppose.
There must be a reason.
Maybe it’s because I’m not a knight.
The three villagers weren’t knights either.
Who knows.
There’s something about you Merlin. It’s the way she looks at you. As if you were the enemy.
---
Being saved by a woman, that can’t feel good.
It feels a lot better than being dead.
------
Hunith nodded at Merlin and looked at Gwen as they finished washing up from dinner. Merlin hugged her, grateful for her motherly intuition and went to Gwen.
Gwen sat, looking down at the floor, and didn’t notice Merlin until he took her hand gently, pulling her up.
“Let’s go for a walk. It’s a beautiful evening.”
Gwen sighed and let herself be pulled out the door. The air smelled of fresh grass and new, wet dirt. Merlin put his arm around her waist as they ambled towards the forest. The companionable silence must have helped Gwen relax for Merlin noticed sniffling and when he looked at her, he saw tears running down her cheeks. Pulling her into his arms, holding her until the sobbing stopped, he offered her his scarf. She wiped her tears, breathing in his comforting familiar smell.
When they reached the edge of the forest, Merlin found a log and indicated that they sit. Gwen pulled in a long, shaky breath and looked up at him.
“You haven’t come here just to find out how I’m doing, have you Merlin?”
“No. I did want to check on you. You know I care for you and Arthur deeply and we both know Arthur is hurting.”
He stopped, worrying his lip for a moment.
“What is it Merlin? You can tell me anything. Did you and Arthur have a big fight again?”
“No. No! It’s nothing like that. Except it will be like that. Maybe.”
Merlin put his head in his hands and Gwen put an arm across his back, pulling him in to her. Soothed by her warm touch, Merlin relaxed. He sat up and held his hand out in front of him and whispered “forbearnen”. Gwen’s eyes widened.
“Did you never wonder how I got the fire started so quickly the day you helped me clean off all the muck from the stables?”
Gwen’s mouth worked for a moment before she finally just said, “Oh Merlin.”
Merlin smiled shyly, a little unsure, but Gwen’s hand had not strayed from behind his back and she wasn’t looking at him like he was a monster.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I was afraid, honestly, but the strain is starting to wear on me. I thought that maybe you had already figured it out, so I wanted to tell you first. And until now, it hasn’t mattered quite so much, but with you and Arthur so upset and heartsick, I couldn’t bear it much longer. I want you and Arthur to be happy again and I need to know that Arthur will still accept me.”
Gwen leaned her head onto Merlin’s shoulder. She held him tight. His heart lifted at the same time the corners of his lips twitched up into a smile, no longer in need of comforting words.
Merlin/Arthur
Arthur felt drunk. His knees were wobbling, he felt giddy, and then he realized that Merlin was roaring.
“Merlin, I understand that you are frustrated, but screaming like a girl is not going to get us out of this mess. We are wet, tied up with no trousers, and all that noise is distracting me. Now, shut up so I can think.”
“Arthur,” Merlin hissed, “I am calling Kilgharrah.”
Merlin threw his head back and roared again. Arthur’s mind was swept along as his body responded, hair rising on the back of Arthur’s neck, heart racing, palms tingling and sweaty. The call activated his own primal urges. Arthur gulped, trying to regain control.
Gusts of air battered them, announcing Kilgharrah’s arrival. The Great Dragon gently scooped them up in his claws and within moments they were lifted away from imminent danger.
Chuckling, Kilgharrhah asked, “Is there something the two of you wish me to know?”
“Thank you, Kilgharrah, for coming to our rescue. I know you are compelled, but I appreciate it nevertheless. Would you be so kind as to loosen our bonds?”
Merlin kneed Arthur, which was easy to do as they were still tied face to face. Arthur got the hint.
“Thank you, Great Dragon.”
“Very well young lords, I think you can walk from here, yes? I will get back to my meal then.”
Wet, cold, and shaky, Arthur barely managed to say, “What the hell Merlin?”
“Forbearnen,” he whispered, lighting a fire for warmth.
Merlin turned to Arthur and took his hands in his own.
“Arthur, I have wanted to tell you for a long time, but the time never seemed right. Certainly when Uther was king, it wasn’t right, and then it just didn’t seem to matter. But I am glad that you know. Now you know all of me and if you never want to see me again, I will understand.”
Arthur’s mouth opened. And closed. Tightly. It opened again and a roar rivalling Merlin’s dragon call came forth.
“MERLIN!”
Merlin stepped back, color draining from his face, hands shaking. He winced.
Arthur closed his mouth and grabbed for his missing sword, flailing his arm when he came up empty handed. He settled for closing his fist and pointing a finger at Merlin instead.
“Merlin,” he hissed.
Merlin waited. Eyes wet, Arthur advanced on Merlin, and grabbed him by the collar.
“Everyone I’ve been close to has betrayed me. You. I thought you were the one person who would never let me down. I thought you were the one person I could trust unconditionally. You.”
Tears streamed down Merlin’s face.
“Arthur, you have to believe me. I have only wanted to serve and protect you. I could not tell you before. You must know that.”
Although he held himself rigid, tears leaked out of Arthur’s eyes. He swallowed, considering what Merlin had said. Arthur’s shoulders dropped; he let go of Merlin’s shirt, waving his arm aimlessly. Merlin waited. Finally, Arthur made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough and then he started laughing. Like a moth to flame, Arthur was drawn back to Merlin. He put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and drew him into his embrace.
“Please, no more secrets between us.”
Merlin nodded, knowing that Arthur could feel the movement of his head, and nuzzled into the other man’s neck. Arthur knew then what it was about Merlin that he had never been able to put his finger on all these years.
Arthur made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough and then he started laughing.
“By the gods, had I but known you were a sorcerer and dragon lord, oh! So many things would have been different.”
He let go of Merlin’s hands and wrapped his arms around the thin sorcerer, feeling the warmth of him against his entire body. He leaned back a little, to look into the bright blue eyes, brimming with tears.
“I cannot imagine living without you Merlin. I am shocked, yes, but I completely understand why you had to hide the truth too. Please, no more secrets between us.”
Merlin nodded, smiling, and leaned in to kiss his lord.
This entry was originally posted at http://jelazakazone.dreamwidth.org/526981.html. Feel free to comment here or there.
Title: Sharing Secrets
Author: jelazakazone
Fandom: Merlin
Pairings/characters:Merlin, Gwaine, Gwen, Arthur, Merlin/Arthur
Rating: R
Word Count: about 1400
Warnings: dragonspeak?
Summary: 3 times Merlin reveals his magic
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am not intending to profit from them
Author’s notes: So, this is the third part of a series exploring non-sexual intimacies among pairings that are non-sexual, asexual (or something in between non and sexual), and sexual. Thanks to feedback from members of the writingcafe! And thanks to Anon X for the set up for Merlin's magic reveal to Arthur.
Merlin had many friends; Gwaine had one. Or so he said. What Gwaine didn’t know was Merlin’s big secret. Only a handful of people alive knew his it. Merlin had been keeping his magic hidden for almost as long as he could remember. Now that Uther was dead and Arthur and Gwen were ruling Camelot, Merlin was ready to test the waters.
“Oi, Gwaine. Let’s go down to the tavern and get a drink.”
“I’m always up for a drink with you, Merlin.”
They walked down the bustling streets in companionable silence, bumping into each other occasionally as they navigated the crowd. Daylight was waning as they crossed the threshold of the tavern, stopping momentarily as their eyes adjusted to the dark interior. The tavern was full at this time of day; people stopped for supper and conversation, but Merlin headed towards a small table in a corner which he had spied.
The young waitress approached and Merlin ordered Gwaine’s favorites: ale, roast with gravy and bread, and pickled eggs for both of them. Gwaine raised his eyebrows, looking questioningly at Merlin.
“Sooo, you trying to butter me up? Get me to help you polish the army’s boots again?”
“No, nothing like that. Why?”
“Well, you just ordered my favorites,is all.”
“Can’t a friend treat a friend to dinner?”
“Sure, Merlin, sure.”
“Gwaine, do you remember when we first met?”
“Of course.”
“Do you remember anything unusual about it?”
“Hmmm, nope. Not really. Why?”
“What about that time we were attacked by wyvern? Did you really think that you fought them off?”
“Oh, now that was a good time, wasn’t it?” Gwaine chuckled and scratched his beard.
“Gwaine! We could have been eaten by wyvern. That’s not what I call a good time.”
Gwaine reached out and patted Merlin’s arm. “Ok, you’re right. Being wyvern fodder is not fun. Oh, you had something to do with that?”
Merlin sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He nodded. Gwaine lips quirked into a smile that split his face. He reached over and clapped Merlin on the shoulder.
“I always knew there was something a little different about you, my friend!”
Merlin/Gwen
From ep 4.08 (Lamia)
I don’t understand it. Why have only the knights been enchanted. Why not us as well?
You’re a woman.
So?
All the victims have been men.
So why haven’t you fallen under her spell?
I’ve just been lucky I suppose.
There must be a reason.
Maybe it’s because I’m not a knight.
The three villagers weren’t knights either.
Who knows.
There’s something about you Merlin. It’s the way she looks at you. As if you were the enemy.
---
Being saved by a woman, that can’t feel good.
It feels a lot better than being dead.
------
Hunith nodded at Merlin and looked at Gwen as they finished washing up from dinner. Merlin hugged her, grateful for her motherly intuition and went to Gwen.
Gwen sat, looking down at the floor, and didn’t notice Merlin until he took her hand gently, pulling her up.
“Let’s go for a walk. It’s a beautiful evening.”
Gwen sighed and let herself be pulled out the door. The air smelled of fresh grass and new, wet dirt. Merlin put his arm around her waist as they ambled towards the forest. The companionable silence must have helped Gwen relax for Merlin noticed sniffling and when he looked at her, he saw tears running down her cheeks. Pulling her into his arms, holding her until the sobbing stopped, he offered her his scarf. She wiped her tears, breathing in his comforting familiar smell.
When they reached the edge of the forest, Merlin found a log and indicated that they sit. Gwen pulled in a long, shaky breath and looked up at him.
“You haven’t come here just to find out how I’m doing, have you Merlin?”
“No. I did want to check on you. You know I care for you and Arthur deeply and we both know Arthur is hurting.”
He stopped, worrying his lip for a moment.
“What is it Merlin? You can tell me anything. Did you and Arthur have a big fight again?”
“No. No! It’s nothing like that. Except it will be like that. Maybe.”
Merlin put his head in his hands and Gwen put an arm across his back, pulling him in to her. Soothed by her warm touch, Merlin relaxed. He sat up and held his hand out in front of him and whispered “forbearnen”. Gwen’s eyes widened.
“Did you never wonder how I got the fire started so quickly the day you helped me clean off all the muck from the stables?”
Gwen’s mouth worked for a moment before she finally just said, “Oh Merlin.”
Merlin smiled shyly, a little unsure, but Gwen’s hand had not strayed from behind his back and she wasn’t looking at him like he was a monster.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I was afraid, honestly, but the strain is starting to wear on me. I thought that maybe you had already figured it out, so I wanted to tell you first. And until now, it hasn’t mattered quite so much, but with you and Arthur so upset and heartsick, I couldn’t bear it much longer. I want you and Arthur to be happy again and I need to know that Arthur will still accept me.”
Gwen leaned her head onto Merlin’s shoulder. She held him tight. His heart lifted at the same time the corners of his lips twitched up into a smile, no longer in need of comforting words.
Merlin/Arthur
Arthur felt drunk. His knees were wobbling, he felt giddy, and then he realized that Merlin was roaring.
“Merlin, I understand that you are frustrated, but screaming like a girl is not going to get us out of this mess. We are wet, tied up with no trousers, and all that noise is distracting me. Now, shut up so I can think.”
“Arthur,” Merlin hissed, “I am calling Kilgharrah.”
Merlin threw his head back and roared again. Arthur’s mind was swept along as his body responded, hair rising on the back of Arthur’s neck, heart racing, palms tingling and sweaty. The call activated his own primal urges. Arthur gulped, trying to regain control.
Gusts of air battered them, announcing Kilgharrah’s arrival. The Great Dragon gently scooped them up in his claws and within moments they were lifted away from imminent danger.
Chuckling, Kilgharrhah asked, “Is there something the two of you wish me to know?”
“Thank you, Kilgharrah, for coming to our rescue. I know you are compelled, but I appreciate it nevertheless. Would you be so kind as to loosen our bonds?”
Merlin kneed Arthur, which was easy to do as they were still tied face to face. Arthur got the hint.
“Thank you, Great Dragon.”
“Very well young lords, I think you can walk from here, yes? I will get back to my meal then.”
Wet, cold, and shaky, Arthur barely managed to say, “What the hell Merlin?”
“Forbearnen,” he whispered, lighting a fire for warmth.
Merlin turned to Arthur and took his hands in his own.
“Arthur, I have wanted to tell you for a long time, but the time never seemed right. Certainly when Uther was king, it wasn’t right, and then it just didn’t seem to matter. But I am glad that you know. Now you know all of me and if you never want to see me again, I will understand.”
Arthur’s mouth opened. And closed. Tightly. It opened again and a roar rivalling Merlin’s dragon call came forth.
“MERLIN!”
Merlin stepped back, color draining from his face, hands shaking. He winced.
Arthur closed his mouth and grabbed for his missing sword, flailing his arm when he came up empty handed. He settled for closing his fist and pointing a finger at Merlin instead.
“Merlin,” he hissed.
Merlin waited. Eyes wet, Arthur advanced on Merlin, and grabbed him by the collar.
“Everyone I’ve been close to has betrayed me. You. I thought you were the one person who would never let me down. I thought you were the one person I could trust unconditionally. You.”
Tears streamed down Merlin’s face.
“Arthur, you have to believe me. I have only wanted to serve and protect you. I could not tell you before. You must know that.”
Although he held himself rigid, tears leaked out of Arthur’s eyes. He swallowed, considering what Merlin had said. Arthur’s shoulders dropped; he let go of Merlin’s shirt, waving his arm aimlessly. Merlin waited. Finally, Arthur made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough and then he started laughing. Like a moth to flame, Arthur was drawn back to Merlin. He put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and drew him into his embrace.
“Please, no more secrets between us.”
Merlin nodded, knowing that Arthur could feel the movement of his head, and nuzzled into the other man’s neck. Arthur knew then what it was about Merlin that he had never been able to put his finger on all these years.
Arthur made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough and then he started laughing.
“By the gods, had I but known you were a sorcerer and dragon lord, oh! So many things would have been different.”
He let go of Merlin’s hands and wrapped his arms around the thin sorcerer, feeling the warmth of him against his entire body. He leaned back a little, to look into the bright blue eyes, brimming with tears.
“I cannot imagine living without you Merlin. I am shocked, yes, but I completely understand why you had to hide the truth too. Please, no more secrets between us.”
Merlin nodded, smiling, and leaned in to kiss his lord.
This entry was originally posted at http://jelazakazone.dreamwidth.org/526981.html. Feel free to comment here or there.