Its a heart thing
The background:
Been having these funny heart flutters since I was about 13 or 14. I told a few people about it, but everyone told me to shut up. Then Rose told the doctors and had them put me on anti-depressents and stuff for anixety. It wasnt anixety. Then recently the fluttering got worse and I started getting chest pains. When I went in to get my butt scoped again, the butt doctor noticed my high heart rate and told me to talk to me doctor about it. I didnt take it seriously and Aunt Terry and Angela kept yelling at me to get in and see the doctor, partly because of Eddie's death and all. So I did go see the doctor. She had me do an EKG which showed I had a high heart rate (not pressure, thats completely different) so she put me on a Holder pack for 24 hours (protable heart monitor that starps to my body, little sticky things and all!) I worse in from Wed. till Thrusday. By Monday morning the doctors office was calling my house and cell asking me to come in as soon as I could saying that the doctor just " wanted to go over my test results with me". Im thinking all she is gonna say is Im fat, work out some more and at the worst take some more meds. Yea, right.
So I go in and she tells me my heart rate. This means nothing to me because I have no idea what she is talking about, what do I know about hearts anyway? She explains that the normal persons heart beats between 60-70 beats per mintue and about 116, if your lucky, during a workout. Mine heart rate was 175.....resting. I reasched 116 for about a minute, while I was sleeping! Yea, bad. She tells me she is concerned, stop drinking caffeine, no strenuous activities (what is strenuous to me may not be to you, very vauge here), no cardio workouts and to take some heart medication to see if it helps slow my heartd down. She wants me back in a month to see if the meds worked by wearing the Holder pack again, and if none of that works I have to go see a Cardiologist and maybe get a procedure done (whatever that means). I specificlly ask her if the heart medication will effect my birth control or IBS meds and she sayd no, leaving things at that.
What the Doctor didnt tell me:
After talking with a family friend who has been a cardiac and radiation nurse for more then 20 years I learned some not so fun stuff the doctor left out. For one, Im at risk for blood clots because of my heart rate, and that risk is even higher because I am on BIRTH CONTROL! Yea, I rememeber, I asked the doctor about that one. Im also at risk for a stroke because of my heart rate and put serious eemphasis on the strenuous activities. I asked her if this is the reason I've been so tired. She told me yes. My body thinks it running a triathalon when Im really just sitting on the couch knitting. That would explain why Im out of breath and dead tired after walking up stairs, cleaning the house, or talking to long. Im wicked tired and the medication doesnt help any. It makes me even more tired and retarted. It makes my speech slurred and I have troubles saying certain things. I have major balance problems. I keep walking into walls, furtinture, people, falling down stairs or just plain falling. I cant drive long distances because of the dizziness and balance issues. So Im a fucking veggie zombie that cant do anything because it either make sme too tired or not be able to breath, fall over or could make me stroke out. Fucking great. I hate it. Lifes just fun when you have to take a break after walking up the stairs. And everything is getting worse. The doctor wanted me to wait to get into the cardiologist so I could do all the test at her office so she could make the money, and when the cardiologist wants to do them all again to make sure they were down right, my insurence wont covr them a second time. So I called her and told her to get my into the Cardiologist ASAP. Im not playing games. I was really hoping this wasnt going to be serious. Guess we dont get everything we wish for.
On a side note, Rose went in for surgery friday. All the skin and tissue on her boob (the cut off one) got infected, died and turned black because she wouldnt quite smoking. The doctor wasnt sure she was going to have enough good skin left to replace her expander if the infectioin was that deep, which it was and they did replace it, and sew her back up. She was lucky. Then the next day i find her at a party, beer in one had, two more in the front pockets of her jacket, and a cigar in the other hand. Fuck it, Im done with her. If she doesnt give a rats ass abou herself then why the hell should I. She wont fucking listen to anyone, not even the doctor. The dumb bitch knows everything. The doctor said the infection was worse then the cancer. She is lucky but Im done being worried about her all the time. Let her kill herself.
This is gonna be a rough battle for Shaun and I. But not once have I questioned whether he would be there for me. If anything were to happen, he would be at my side till the end. His methodical way of breaking situations down always makes me feel better. Sometimes he really soothes my fears and nerves, other times he just gets on my nerves, but I love him anyway.
"Then not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be, it seems like everytime I try to make it right it all comes down on me, please say, honestly you wont give up on me, and I shall be me. Open the door, and show me your face tonight, I know its true, no one heals me like you, and you hold the key...."
Been having these funny heart flutters since I was about 13 or 14. I told a few people about it, but everyone told me to shut up. Then Rose told the doctors and had them put me on anti-depressents and stuff for anixety. It wasnt anixety. Then recently the fluttering got worse and I started getting chest pains. When I went in to get my butt scoped again, the butt doctor noticed my high heart rate and told me to talk to me doctor about it. I didnt take it seriously and Aunt Terry and Angela kept yelling at me to get in and see the doctor, partly because of Eddie's death and all. So I did go see the doctor. She had me do an EKG which showed I had a high heart rate (not pressure, thats completely different) so she put me on a Holder pack for 24 hours (protable heart monitor that starps to my body, little sticky things and all!) I worse in from Wed. till Thrusday. By Monday morning the doctors office was calling my house and cell asking me to come in as soon as I could saying that the doctor just " wanted to go over my test results with me". Im thinking all she is gonna say is Im fat, work out some more and at the worst take some more meds. Yea, right.
So I go in and she tells me my heart rate. This means nothing to me because I have no idea what she is talking about, what do I know about hearts anyway? She explains that the normal persons heart beats between 60-70 beats per mintue and about 116, if your lucky, during a workout. Mine heart rate was 175.....resting. I reasched 116 for about a minute, while I was sleeping! Yea, bad. She tells me she is concerned, stop drinking caffeine, no strenuous activities (what is strenuous to me may not be to you, very vauge here), no cardio workouts and to take some heart medication to see if it helps slow my heartd down. She wants me back in a month to see if the meds worked by wearing the Holder pack again, and if none of that works I have to go see a Cardiologist and maybe get a procedure done (whatever that means). I specificlly ask her if the heart medication will effect my birth control or IBS meds and she sayd no, leaving things at that.
What the Doctor didnt tell me:
After talking with a family friend who has been a cardiac and radiation nurse for more then 20 years I learned some not so fun stuff the doctor left out. For one, Im at risk for blood clots because of my heart rate, and that risk is even higher because I am on BIRTH CONTROL! Yea, I rememeber, I asked the doctor about that one. Im also at risk for a stroke because of my heart rate and put serious eemphasis on the strenuous activities. I asked her if this is the reason I've been so tired. She told me yes. My body thinks it running a triathalon when Im really just sitting on the couch knitting. That would explain why Im out of breath and dead tired after walking up stairs, cleaning the house, or talking to long. Im wicked tired and the medication doesnt help any. It makes me even more tired and retarted. It makes my speech slurred and I have troubles saying certain things. I have major balance problems. I keep walking into walls, furtinture, people, falling down stairs or just plain falling. I cant drive long distances because of the dizziness and balance issues. So Im a fucking veggie zombie that cant do anything because it either make sme too tired or not be able to breath, fall over or could make me stroke out. Fucking great. I hate it. Lifes just fun when you have to take a break after walking up the stairs. And everything is getting worse. The doctor wanted me to wait to get into the cardiologist so I could do all the test at her office so she could make the money, and when the cardiologist wants to do them all again to make sure they were down right, my insurence wont covr them a second time. So I called her and told her to get my into the Cardiologist ASAP. Im not playing games. I was really hoping this wasnt going to be serious. Guess we dont get everything we wish for.
On a side note, Rose went in for surgery friday. All the skin and tissue on her boob (the cut off one) got infected, died and turned black because she wouldnt quite smoking. The doctor wasnt sure she was going to have enough good skin left to replace her expander if the infectioin was that deep, which it was and they did replace it, and sew her back up. She was lucky. Then the next day i find her at a party, beer in one had, two more in the front pockets of her jacket, and a cigar in the other hand. Fuck it, Im done with her. If she doesnt give a rats ass abou herself then why the hell should I. She wont fucking listen to anyone, not even the doctor. The dumb bitch knows everything. The doctor said the infection was worse then the cancer. She is lucky but Im done being worried about her all the time. Let her kill herself.
This is gonna be a rough battle for Shaun and I. But not once have I questioned whether he would be there for me. If anything were to happen, he would be at my side till the end. His methodical way of breaking situations down always makes me feel better. Sometimes he really soothes my fears and nerves, other times he just gets on my nerves, but I love him anyway.
"Then not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be, it seems like everytime I try to make it right it all comes down on me, please say, honestly you wont give up on me, and I shall be me. Open the door, and show me your face tonight, I know its true, no one heals me like you, and you hold the key...."