(no subject)
wow
i thought things were going up hill untill my grandfather dies on a monday then ivan hit on wednesday then after that my life seemed to be destroyed. i dont really understand a lot of things right now but hopefully i will figure them out soon. people lead you to beleive one thing but mean another, why do you have to do that? things like this i just dont understand. im not real sure where exactly i stand with things anymore. im just stuck in between two lifes, im not sure which one is right. i've experienced them both and wasnt happy with either. now what do i do? i feel like i've lost so many people i've cared sooo much about over some stupid stuff. things will never be the same and i've finally come to realize that. it hurts but i guess thats what i get. i dont ever think ill be what anyone expects me to be. and some people drag things out and it hurts me. other people say these things that make you so happy and you finally feel like there is something to live for and then you find out it was all just a lie. i dont know how much longer i can take of people hurting me. im done with it all.