If You Were Wondering .. This Is How I Feel
alright so i am over this shit.. seriously the thing i am pissed off at is that i feel betrayed and hurt becuz someone i called my "best friend" could sit there and listen to people talk shit and fuck with me and NOT SAY SOMETHING.. even if they kept talking shit at least you attempted to help and yes maybe you are friends with them to but you know if it were the other way around i wpuld have done it for you becuz you def. come OR came first to me.. shit after this if someone were to sit in front of me and talk shit about you i'd still be like "im friends with you but i am also friends with her even if we havent talked lately but you need to quit talking shit" and considering who the person was that didnt do this for also shows alot to me. becuz i KNOW FOR A FACT if you are friends with someone and they were talking shit about another friend you'd say something that is just how you are so obviously i am not important enough to you and you dont care about me as much as i thought you did.. also.. the fact that you are friends with this new person or person from the past doesnt matter to me it is cool becuz i talked to her too but last time the two of you became "best friends" i felt like i was the one that got left out and that wasnt cared about anymore and got replaced.. and yes i understand that a couple of days ago i was talking shit about jessica and erin but i decided to drop the drama and be cool with them but you did the same thing so why is it a big deal? i didnt make a big deal about it for you although you think i did.. all i said is that i get left out when the two of you become "best friends" that was it and you know that isnt like i was talking shit it is just another way i get my feelings hurt.. and yes i have done shit to all of you in the past and you have done shit to me but out of everything this feels like it hurts more than anything you could do to me.. it just makes me think that you never cared and i am just a peice of shit to you.. and after all of it i just dont feel like talking to you guys.. im not ready to becuz i still feel like shit becuz of it.. since i found out it is the only thing i can think about and really it just makes me sick.. and really if you dont care enough to stick up for me and be a true friend then why should i even care enough to cry and think about all of it constantly.. i guess i just considered you more of a friend then you did for me.. but im gonna go and have my fun tonight and whatever happens happens i guess.. maybe after a while ill get over the disgusting betrayed feeling i have in my stomach and things will go back to normal but i dont know if i will ever care as much as i did for you as a friend.. bye everyone!!