Quickies
- Today I met Linda for one of our every-few-months long ladies' lunches. She took me up to The Tea House on Los Rios in San Juan Capistrano. It was her treat to me as a way to celebrate my graduation. Damien, the owner, spent time with us and congratulated me, since we follow each other on social media. He left me with a small tin of their Bourbon Street Vanilla Tea mix, which is heavenly. I'm more of an Earl Grey kind of gal, but this tea is probably my 2nd favourite there. Linda is amazing. She's one of my adopted mums and I always say she is the epitome of love, personified. Spending a day with her recharges my batteries every single time. She gives sage advice, tells wonderful stories, and because her eldest son and I were in high school and band/marching corps together, it built the foundation for many conversations we have. I have known her family since 1990, and even though I briefly dated her eldest son Jason, I like to say that he and I didn't work out, but I kept his mother.
- I need to get away for a little bit and find myself again. Twenty years ago I drove to Arizona with the same thought in mind, but I met up with other people hoping to find what I was looking for. I found nothing. This time, when I'm able to go, I plan on traveling solo for a few days with nothing but my camera, a backpack of clothing and travel accessories, and a sleeping bag so I can just nap in the rental car. I don't know if I plan to meet up with friends along my route -- I think I might just treat myself and take this trip alone. I have to plan where I want to go and how much I will need to set aside.
- We passed by the Ortega Freeway onramp earlier today. Of course, I thought of Nick. One of these days I really need to make the pilgrimage to the spot where he took his last breath and just occupy the last space he did.
- I feel my heart closing up again. It's a self preservation method I know I always inadvertently do, but I need to harden up again. The last three weeks have been an emotional tsunami and I feel like the worst is over. The tides are receding. I can return to my usual warm, but guarded self. I still need to find a moment of escape and a method of release, some means of catharsis. I spent the last week drowning in memories and it's time I surface.
Click to viewIt was a moment of clarity, we lost in the cold.
In the landslide we buried a part of my soul.
I'm leaving behind what was already there,
Just a fictional time I can no longer bear.
And when the days turn into years,
Please promise me that what we were
will always remain.
Beyond the fading touch of time, a never ending line,
To guide us home if we should lose our way.
In just a moment, sincerity gave way to the cold.
In the season, it weathered a part of my soul.
We're saying goodbye to what was never there;
Just a fictional time that no longer cares.
And when the days turn into years,
Please promise me that what we were
will always remain.
Beyond the fading touch of time, a never ending line,
To guide us home if we should lose our way.