School life...work...future...

[jehoshabeath]

I am tired of the school life. Where I study and study, devoting my all to a vision that vanishes within a few passes of the moon. Some say I should not devote so much to my semester classes, but I cannot help it. I cannot hold back my most sincere efforts. It's just the way I am

Comments

[lemur_cat]

Here's how I feel as someone in her first job. The good thing about jobs is that you get paid and hopefully you are useful, and if you mess up it won't affect your grade and won't have any real consequences for you unless you get fired. The bad thing is that you get get paid the same if you are awesome as if you are barely acceptable (there are probably jobs where you can get promoted or something but I don't have one, and actually I don't want a competitive job because I hate being competitive) and it doesn't feel good to screw up and have this affect other people's lives, whereas with classes it would only affect your own grades.

Then there's the sheer demand in terms of energy and time, which for me has been much greater than college ever was. Maybe comparable to high school, but at least then my mom cooked for me and did my laundry. Mmm, food and clean clothing.

I think I relate to what you say about being unable to hold back your best efforts, but I got jaded at some point--I think it was when I had to study for all the AP and IB tests and I kinda didn't study for American history. I got a 3 out of 5. Maybe going to a freaky non-grade college was a bad idea, because if there were grades I'd want an A. On the other hand, I can't necessarily get A's when I'm taking all these crazy literature courses--except that semester in Japan where literature was my best class and that makes no sense.

[jehoshabeath]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I suppose either work or school has its good and bad points... I do hope you can find more time in the future somehow. I know that when I am tired and rushed, it is a terrible feeling.

One career test I took told me that I would make a good surgeon, because I am so careful and like detail. Still, if I were responsible for someone's death, I just wouldn't be able to deal with that... I think the risk in dealing with books is much less stressful. Well, maybe I will crack the spine of the binding or spill my tea on them, but, hey, umm, that's why I don't want to work with rare books or special collections ^_^;;

[lemur_cat]

Sometimes I think I'd like to be a veterinarian, but I'm squeamish and I suspect you have to perform unnecessary surgeries on animals that get euthanized afterward to get your degree. So I think that after someone finally invents an injection to sterilize cats and dogs, I'd like to get licensed as some kind of pet nurse so I could help reduce overpopulation. But not as a job, just as a volunteering thing. All the fun and worthwhile things I want to do, I cannot get paid for.

For a job, I want to work with words, but writing doesn't seem feasible. My top choice is translator, but translator of something interesting, not translator of manual for machine that manufactures bolts, and I get the impression that no one will pay you to translate anything interesting. Maybe if I lived in the US I could get a job translating manga, but I want to live here. So I'm planning to get an internship involving copy editing at an English language magazine, if they'll have me. I wouldn't mind going to graduate school to study linguistics, but it seems really hard to get into grad school and that pays even less than an internship because it costs money.

The worst thing I could do is leave a horrible mistake in the magazine, and that would probably hurt me more than the magazine, so it's a pretty good deal conscience-wise.

[jehoshabeath]

Ohh, it would be great if you could volunteer at a pet hospital! I know you would do well, because you have a real heart for the patients ^__^

I also hope you can get an internship! That sounds like it would be fun and helpful in general. It would definitely beat those instructions manuals! I want to make online resources someday, but nobody will hire me to make them, because I make things that nobody cares about (or the people that do have no money!). Still, at least we live in countries where we have the freedom to follow interests like those :)

[lemur_cat]

I wouldn't want to deal with all the pet owners, though. Because some of them you know are bad owners and you can't do a thing about it because the law doesn't protect pets much.

Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever have enough energy to work a job and put much effort into an interest or hobby :(

[jehoshabeath]

Don't give up hope just yet!! ^^

[jehoshabeath]

I was thinking about your first comment, and I do understand how difficult that would be... Sometimes, it seems like this world is an ocean of evil and we are so small to stand against it. What can we do? Yet, nothing good is done in vain!!

[lemur_cat]

I don't know, I think you can screw up monumentally enough to end up doing harm instead of good. And if you don't do any harm but don't manage any good either, the mocking of people who disdain do-gooders can be quite horrible.

[jehoshabeath]

But the intentions of the heart matter more than people's mocking voices. The former are of value and will endure - the latter will only come to bring those mockers shame in the end. This is my belief - though I will leave it at that^^

[lemur_cat]

Ultimately I guess I agree, but in the short term the mocking and other bad stuff still really overwhelms any positives from the intentions.

[jehoshabeath]

It is very painful stuff :(