this post will make you prettier.
Don't you hate how it's always riiiiiiiight after you start printing out a very long, very important for schoolwork document that your printer decides it has run out of ink? And how they can still print anyway once you eventually get back to your room, expecting to find your thing already printed out and ready to go, and get pissed off and hit the "FUCK NO, TRY TO PRINT IT ANYWAY YOU GODDAMN BASTARD DEVICE!" button (I'm sure that button has a more technical term, but as it is only used in cases when that phrase fits, that is its new name). Yeah. The printer is truly the most fought-with of my office devices. Even more than the hole-punch or the unruly laptop, or the narcoleptic desktop.
So! Since I have a test I am supposed to be studying for, I naturally thought that this would be a most opportune time to break my near-silence in the land of the LJ to bring you... some natterings on beauty products. That "take a picture of your face without make, then put makeup on and take a picture of your face, then describe what you did" meme has been going around (and around and around, I swear some of you have done it more than once) and I always mean to do it but the problem is... like... I get ready in the morning right before I have to go places. And then I have to go places! And I am always late as it is, even without stopping to photograph myself and write up a post. Maybe I'll get to it eventually. But until then, here are some other products I use:
Burt's Bees shampoos & conditioners
I am allergic to almost every shampoo and conditioner I can find in the store. I'm even allergic to the expensive ones I special-ordered because my dermatologist said there was no way I would be allergic to them and they were completely 100% safe for Jehnts (heck, my mother is so crazy allergic to everything she can't even use SOAP and she can use that kind of shampoo!). There was a brief and harrowing time in my life about two years ago when I went a month (A MONTH) without shampooing or conditioning my hair (I still washed it with water and blow-dried it, and thank god it looked okay, even if it felt totally gross). On a whim I picked up a bottle of Burt's Bees shampoo because they carried it in the school market, and LO! I was not allergic to it! And I am still not allergic to it! It comes in several different kinds which I choose based upon scent and not effect. I like Color Keeper Green Tea & Fennel Seed and Very Volumizing Pomegranate & Soy. I don't notice the smells all that much but considering that when I'm done taking a shower, people always comment on how awesome things smell almost the moment I open the door to the bathroom, and I use no other products on my hair and people comment on it smelling nice when it flips around, I'm going to guess the scent is damn near overpowering.
St. Ives Apricot Scrub - Blemish & Blackhead Control
I use this. You use this. Your mom uses this. Heck, even my little brother uses this. Oddly enough, all of them except the Blemish & Blackhead Control irritate my skin, which is weird, because you'd think that one would have more chemicals. Oh well, I don't really question, I just go with it. I use this in the shower before I wash my face with the thingy. idk, it says AFTER washing your face but that's just my process.
Neutrogena Clear Pore Cleanser/Mask
So in addition to being allergic to many shampoos/conditioners, I am also allergic to many soaps. I had to stop using my beloved Cetaphil cleanser and for a long time was using Dove Moisture Bars. BAR SOAP, YOU GUYS. I PUT BAR SOAP ON MY FAAAAAAAAAACE. Needless to say, those were not happy days for my skin. For a while I used Jason Satin Soap for Hands & Face in Tea Tree, but it never felt... soapy enough. Like, it was fine for most of my body, but it didn't LATHER. I know it still got things clean, but I like something that lathers up good for my face. While I had mono and was staying at home, I stole this Neutrogena thinggum from my brother and discovered that it was MAGIC. FUCKING MAGIC, I TELL YOU. In mask form, leaving it on for like two minutes, my skin was so clear and beautiful and soft that I didn't even wear makeup... to my date with Robot... for our two-month "monthiversary." YES THAT IS RIGHT, I WAS DEAD SICK WITH MONO AND DID NOT WEAR MAKEUP OUT IN PUBLIC WHILE TRYING TO IMPRESS A BOY AND STILL LOOKED SMOKIN' IMO. That is the magic this thing can work. I use it in cleanser form most of the time and do the masky thing with it (which is really the same as the cleanser just leaving it on longer) when I remember... which is rarely.
Softsoap
For all my other soap needs, I use Softsoap. I have a foaming hand cleanser, the milk & honey hand cleanser (smells delicious!), and have purchased a vast array of their extremely-difficult-to-hold-onto-while-wet body washes. BECAUSE I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO THEM YAY.
CVS Benzoyl Peroxide Cream
This shit is like $4 and you put it on your face and it FIXES things, which is more than my many prescription drugs from my dermatologist ever did. I use this stuff in the morning and at night and sometimes in between.
Complex 15 Therapeutic Moisturizing Lotion
My dermatologist told me about this. This recommendation makes up for every recommendation that didn't work out. This shit is insane. Usually when I use moisturizers, even lightweight ones, I feel all slimy, greasy, and... moist. The Complex 15 just goes right in and I feel not dry, which is distinctly different from moist. And it doesn't clog pores, which is always a plus. My brother claims it smells terrible and won't use it in public for this reason (OH GOD HAVE YOU PEOPLE FIGURED OUT YET THAT MY BROTHER AND I SPEND A LOT OF TIME CHATTING ABOUT OUR SKINCARE REGIMENS?), but I looooooooooooove it. I don't find that it smells bad, but then I stay away from scented products due to potential allergies, so my tolerance for "weird-smelling beauty products" might be higher than most people's. Another thing - when I used other moisturizers, I would find that after I washed them off or whatever my skin would feel even drier than usual, and it NEEDED the moisturizer to not be dry (even if it was then slimy)... I don't have that happen with Complex 15, or if it happens, it does to a much lesser extent.
Eucerin Intensive Repair Body Creme
Remember these two things: 1) BODY and 2) CREME. Not hand/face/foot or lotion. BODY CREME. I use this on my face anyway, as it is pretty goddamn badass. This is my baby super-moisturizer, behind the next one on the list. I put this on everything. Have a scrape? Yeah, we'll just Eucerin it, that'll make it better. Razorburn? Eucerin. Strange rash? Eucerin. Cold sore? Eucerin. It fixes pretty much everything.
Elta Creme Moisturizer
These are the big guns. Read that link. They put this on BURN VICTIMS. They're like, "charred flesh? No problem. We'll slap some Elta on that and have you smooth as a baby's bottom in no time" (slight hyperbole, perhaps, but still). My problem with this bamf is that it stays all glisteny on the surface of my skin and I often feel like once it wears off (which it takes like two goddamn days to do, goddamn) my skin is drier. But if you have some terrible dry cracks or something like that that you need to zap, it's your best bud. ALSO, when they say "apply a small amount," they are NOT KIDDING. A pea-sized dollop would more than do for my entire face. Also, this is weird, but I kind of love the texture of it.
Lancome Foundation Primer
I don't wear foundation but I DO wear concealer and lipstick, so I put a bit of this under my eyes and on my lips so everything glides on smoothly. And let me tell you, even if I forgot my lip-moisturizing routine and have lips so chapped it looks like I got fried in the sun, this still somehow fixes them.
A side note: I put everything on my lips, so I can give you some tips (lol rhyme). Don't put Elta on your lips, it will just dry them out. Complex 15 and Eucerin are pretty decent for moisturizing them - I use them all the time. But still, for my money, the best bet is a bit of Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion rubbed into your lips and then covered in Vaseline before bedtime. Then sleep. Then exfoliate the fuck out of those no-longer-chapped motherfuckers in the morning. Then put your Lancome Foundation Primer and then lipstick, and your lips will be pretty goddamn nice. (Also, idk if it's just me, but keeping my lips moisturized all the time makes them look fuller. If I don't moisturize, sometimes they get chapped, but they ALWAYS start looking all tiny and morose.)
Yeah that's pretty much my entire beauty routine except makeup (okay, I also blowdry my hair... but I use no hair products, so there's nothing to say about it). And because I'm lazy, I just wash my face in the morning. HAHA. I used to wash it at night too but. Well. I'm lazy. And it made no difference to how many breakouts I was getting. So, you know. Sometimes I'm afraid not washing it at night means dirtdemons crawl down into my pores and set up shop there... but then I remember how inconvenient and annoying it is to wash my face at bedtime.
So! Since I have a test I am supposed to be studying for, I naturally thought that this would be a most opportune time to break my near-silence in the land of the LJ to bring you... some natterings on beauty products. That "take a picture of your face without make, then put makeup on and take a picture of your face, then describe what you did" meme has been going around (and around and around, I swear some of you have done it more than once) and I always mean to do it but the problem is... like... I get ready in the morning right before I have to go places. And then I have to go places! And I am always late as it is, even without stopping to photograph myself and write up a post. Maybe I'll get to it eventually. But until then, here are some other products I use:
Burt's Bees shampoos & conditioners
I am allergic to almost every shampoo and conditioner I can find in the store. I'm even allergic to the expensive ones I special-ordered because my dermatologist said there was no way I would be allergic to them and they were completely 100% safe for Jehnts (heck, my mother is so crazy allergic to everything she can't even use SOAP and she can use that kind of shampoo!). There was a brief and harrowing time in my life about two years ago when I went a month (A MONTH) without shampooing or conditioning my hair (I still washed it with water and blow-dried it, and thank god it looked okay, even if it felt totally gross). On a whim I picked up a bottle of Burt's Bees shampoo because they carried it in the school market, and LO! I was not allergic to it! And I am still not allergic to it! It comes in several different kinds which I choose based upon scent and not effect. I like Color Keeper Green Tea & Fennel Seed and Very Volumizing Pomegranate & Soy. I don't notice the smells all that much but considering that when I'm done taking a shower, people always comment on how awesome things smell almost the moment I open the door to the bathroom, and I use no other products on my hair and people comment on it smelling nice when it flips around, I'm going to guess the scent is damn near overpowering.
St. Ives Apricot Scrub - Blemish & Blackhead Control
I use this. You use this. Your mom uses this. Heck, even my little brother uses this. Oddly enough, all of them except the Blemish & Blackhead Control irritate my skin, which is weird, because you'd think that one would have more chemicals. Oh well, I don't really question, I just go with it. I use this in the shower before I wash my face with the thingy. idk, it says AFTER washing your face but that's just my process.
Neutrogena Clear Pore Cleanser/Mask
So in addition to being allergic to many shampoos/conditioners, I am also allergic to many soaps. I had to stop using my beloved Cetaphil cleanser and for a long time was using Dove Moisture Bars. BAR SOAP, YOU GUYS. I PUT BAR SOAP ON MY FAAAAAAAAAACE. Needless to say, those were not happy days for my skin. For a while I used Jason Satin Soap for Hands & Face in Tea Tree, but it never felt... soapy enough. Like, it was fine for most of my body, but it didn't LATHER. I know it still got things clean, but I like something that lathers up good for my face. While I had mono and was staying at home, I stole this Neutrogena thinggum from my brother and discovered that it was MAGIC. FUCKING MAGIC, I TELL YOU. In mask form, leaving it on for like two minutes, my skin was so clear and beautiful and soft that I didn't even wear makeup... to my date with Robot... for our two-month "monthiversary." YES THAT IS RIGHT, I WAS DEAD SICK WITH MONO AND DID NOT WEAR MAKEUP OUT IN PUBLIC WHILE TRYING TO IMPRESS A BOY AND STILL LOOKED SMOKIN' IMO. That is the magic this thing can work. I use it in cleanser form most of the time and do the masky thing with it (which is really the same as the cleanser just leaving it on longer) when I remember... which is rarely.
Softsoap
For all my other soap needs, I use Softsoap. I have a foaming hand cleanser, the milk & honey hand cleanser (smells delicious!), and have purchased a vast array of their extremely-difficult-to-hold-onto-while-wet body washes. BECAUSE I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO THEM YAY.
CVS Benzoyl Peroxide Cream
This shit is like $4 and you put it on your face and it FIXES things, which is more than my many prescription drugs from my dermatologist ever did. I use this stuff in the morning and at night and sometimes in between.
Complex 15 Therapeutic Moisturizing Lotion
My dermatologist told me about this. This recommendation makes up for every recommendation that didn't work out. This shit is insane. Usually when I use moisturizers, even lightweight ones, I feel all slimy, greasy, and... moist. The Complex 15 just goes right in and I feel not dry, which is distinctly different from moist. And it doesn't clog pores, which is always a plus. My brother claims it smells terrible and won't use it in public for this reason (OH GOD HAVE YOU PEOPLE FIGURED OUT YET THAT MY BROTHER AND I SPEND A LOT OF TIME CHATTING ABOUT OUR SKINCARE REGIMENS?), but I looooooooooooove it. I don't find that it smells bad, but then I stay away from scented products due to potential allergies, so my tolerance for "weird-smelling beauty products" might be higher than most people's. Another thing - when I used other moisturizers, I would find that after I washed them off or whatever my skin would feel even drier than usual, and it NEEDED the moisturizer to not be dry (even if it was then slimy)... I don't have that happen with Complex 15, or if it happens, it does to a much lesser extent.
Eucerin Intensive Repair Body Creme
Remember these two things: 1) BODY and 2) CREME. Not hand/face/foot or lotion. BODY CREME. I use this on my face anyway, as it is pretty goddamn badass. This is my baby super-moisturizer, behind the next one on the list. I put this on everything. Have a scrape? Yeah, we'll just Eucerin it, that'll make it better. Razorburn? Eucerin. Strange rash? Eucerin. Cold sore? Eucerin. It fixes pretty much everything.
Elta Creme Moisturizer
These are the big guns. Read that link. They put this on BURN VICTIMS. They're like, "charred flesh? No problem. We'll slap some Elta on that and have you smooth as a baby's bottom in no time" (slight hyperbole, perhaps, but still). My problem with this bamf is that it stays all glisteny on the surface of my skin and I often feel like once it wears off (which it takes like two goddamn days to do, goddamn) my skin is drier. But if you have some terrible dry cracks or something like that that you need to zap, it's your best bud. ALSO, when they say "apply a small amount," they are NOT KIDDING. A pea-sized dollop would more than do for my entire face. Also, this is weird, but I kind of love the texture of it.
Lancome Foundation Primer
I don't wear foundation but I DO wear concealer and lipstick, so I put a bit of this under my eyes and on my lips so everything glides on smoothly. And let me tell you, even if I forgot my lip-moisturizing routine and have lips so chapped it looks like I got fried in the sun, this still somehow fixes them.
A side note: I put everything on my lips, so I can give you some tips (lol rhyme). Don't put Elta on your lips, it will just dry them out. Complex 15 and Eucerin are pretty decent for moisturizing them - I use them all the time. But still, for my money, the best bet is a bit of Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion rubbed into your lips and then covered in Vaseline before bedtime. Then sleep. Then exfoliate the fuck out of those no-longer-chapped motherfuckers in the morning. Then put your Lancome Foundation Primer and then lipstick, and your lips will be pretty goddamn nice. (Also, idk if it's just me, but keeping my lips moisturized all the time makes them look fuller. If I don't moisturize, sometimes they get chapped, but they ALWAYS start looking all tiny and morose.)
Yeah that's pretty much my entire beauty routine except makeup (okay, I also blowdry my hair... but I use no hair products, so there's nothing to say about it). And because I'm lazy, I just wash my face in the morning. HAHA. I used to wash it at night too but. Well. I'm lazy. And it made no difference to how many breakouts I was getting. So, you know. Sometimes I'm afraid not washing it at night means dirtdemons crawl down into my pores and set up shop there... but then I remember how inconvenient and annoying it is to wash my face at bedtime.