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[jehan_prouvaire]

Oh, but -- what is it like, I wonder. Knowing. I wish it was something I could feel, physically, so I could know that I -- knew.

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[jehan_prouvaire]

...No.... then I don't think I've ever felt it before. I should like to, though. I don't know anything, really... It's so horribly -- shut off.

[jehan_prouvaire]

Oh, no -- there must be some amount of truth in it.. I trust you.

....
*shrugs awkwardly and smiles* I don't even know... that's all.

[jehan_prouvaire]

...I think it's nice to know and be certain of some things, really. I think, anyhow -- I'm not certain, but it would be nice to be...certain. If I'm making any sense. ...As long as you're here, and happy, then I really don't mind what happens, or what you do, or I do, or we do, or anyone does. I'm horrible at looking for things -- I always look for pens when I'm holding one in my hand, and I lost so much of my homework back then, and lost my trains of thought. ...I'd look, though, just to see if this time I'm lucky -- I also think it would be much more easy to find something if you're here! ...Thank you so much for being here. I don't really know what to say now, so I'll stay quiet.

[jehan_prouvaire]

I think -- ...well, actually, at the moment, I suddenly would like to be certain that you're happy with everything. That there's no nagging of doubt or little shadow obscuring something. If there's something in the way...? That's what I wish I could be sure of, right now. But don't look, if it's hard to find. Perhaps answers don't want...or need... to be found. As much as sometimes I wish they could be.

[jehan_prouvaire]

...Oh..! That's lovely. I'm very glad.

......Well.. Well, is there anything you'd like to know? Be certain of..? Because -- I don't know what you'd like to know, or what you're doubting, or if you have any questions at all, and it really is not very good of me, so... so... Do you..?

[jehan_prouvaire]

...Is that really -- oh, really, I'm so so sorry about that; that was horrible of me for just.. *gestures helplessly* I didn't even ask -- ...I thought it tasted lovely, when I took a little sip, so -- ....so, I thought you might like it. But it was rather utterly horrible of me to assume..! I'm so sorry about it. I'll keep making you hot chocolate, or -- or coffee.

[jehan_prouvaire]

Oh, because -- because you felt obligated to continue drinking it..! Even when it was horrible, just because I was so stupid and was expecting you to like it.. ....Oh, how could I have..? When it was obviously not that way for you? I meant -- well. I really meant for it to be nice, and it really was all my fault that it wasn't, and for assuming, and I won't assume in the future, I promise.

...I really meant for it to taste lovely for as long as you were drinking it...

[jehan_prouvaire]

Typist: Woops, sorry, that actually wasn't me talking. x.x

But -- but. ....*pauses* But I really can't do much else, when we're together, except make tea..! And your sister must be good at making conversation, and pretty, at the very least, but I have to compensate, and -- ...well, if I can't make the right tea...! It just doesn't work...

I suppose I just want to know what makes you happy. That's all, really. And I don't know, so I end up holding on too tightly and then stumbling through what I think would make you happy -- and then maybe ultimately it makes you unhappy, and -- then it's really no good at all. I am sorry, incredibly.