BEEN A WHILE SINCE OUR LAST CONVERSATION
"RBC Music. This is Jef. How may I help you?'
"Where are you located?"
"1160 Blalock."
"Can you give me directions?"
"No problem. Where are you coming from?"
"I'm coming into town from I-10"
"OK, just past Gessner is the exit for Blalock..."
"I KNOW WHERE BLALOCK IS!"
"OK... well we're about a quarter of a mile North of Blalock on the right."
"Well I just drove past there, and you're not fucking there."
"Of course I'm not fucking here! The only other person here is not only my co-worker, but my drummer. I don't know if you're aware of this, Sir, but the musician's guild fines a singer $5000 for fucking the drummer. I don't have that kind of money, so I'm definitely not fucking here, no way. I am, however, helping customers with my own brand of gusto, and have been since 9:00 AM."
"Well, I didn't fucking see you! You're a dummy, and your directions are useless. The yellow pages said your address was 1160."
"It is"
"No it's not!"
"It might be 1191 by now. Every morning I come in a little early and push the building slightly to the North."
"Why you little..."
"Let's try an exercise, OK?. First, I'll pretend to be REALLY sorry you can't find the store. Then, you tell me where you are, and then I'll try and guide you in from there. What say ye?"
"Are you the manager?"
"I like to think of myself as the sergeant of a rag-tag group of commandos."
"I want to speak to your superior."
"My head of house is Severus Snape. He'll be in his office in the dungeon if you want to speak to him."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
" Bored now. Avada Kedavra!"
*long pause*
"Are you still there, sir? Sir?"