(no subject)
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
You can't gargle gravel.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!
What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.
What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200 mph?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Why didn't they crucify baby Jesus?
I don't know why they didn't either.
What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker!
What is red and creeps up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies.
What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.
What's grosser than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.
What's grosser than that?
He goes back for more.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
The dog plays with it more.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
You can't gargle gravel.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!
What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.
What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200 mph?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Why didn't they crucify baby Jesus?
I don't know why they didn't either.
What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker!
What is red and creeps up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies.
What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.
What's grosser than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.
What's grosser than that?
He goes back for more.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.