Explosive
The end to all of my problems has pulled in to my brain-garage. The next time I have to stand in front of a group of people and give a presentation, I'm just gonna give in to what I've been fighting all of this time. Go with the flow. Be one with the universal forces. I'm gonna get up there in my adorable little shirt and tie, arrange myself at a 45 degree angle, cranium pointing out over the audience members, and just let my head explode into piles of chunky bits like Gallagher. But no hammer is needed. The internal pressures will provide sufficient explosive energy. And the rednecks in the front rows will be prepared with their garbage bags and umbrellas, but the slutty blond in row three didn't know it was "that kind of show", so she's gonna experience my medulla oblongata, straight up. Actually I am surprised that I have been able to keep it unexploded for this long. And no, I don't think I'm the only one whose head turns explosive when placed in front of large numbers of people. I just think I'm the only one who has realized that it would be okay to just let the fucker explode. But now the cat is out of the bag. Could be the beginning of an epidemic. Or maybe I should rent it out like some kind of party favor. "Exploding Head: Great for PTA Meetings, Clam Bakes, and GOP Fund Raisers". Well, I suppose it would be more of a purchase than a rental - sort of a one-time-use deal.