Association Football And Associated Paranoia..!
So, I naively went to watch the European Championship Final for 2016 round my Mum and Dad's expecting a normal night..!
I'd seen a number of the games during the tournament with mates and/or with Toni, so wanted to go see my folks for one and if they weren't in the mood for much talking, at least the match could carry the conversation a wee bit. As it happened, my Mum was definitely in the mood for chatting...
It interrupted nicely the tedium of the mediocre 1-0 final of a poor tournament, to be honest! As my Mum outlined a number of scenarios where she thought the next door neighbours have got into the house using a key they have covertly copied!
As some of you will have noticed, I am studying Counselling currently, however, you can't Counsel those you know fully, as you will betray the neutrality you are supposed to possess. You can however, empathise, be congruent and show unconditional positive regard to what others are saying and can also listen to what feelings are underlying with greater skill, so that's what I chose to do.
I let my Mum speak for much of the next seventy minutes, outlining how she thought our neighbours are entering their house and doing these acts, not to her, only possessions. Over time, she disclosed that their ultimate intention of doing so was to 'remove' her from the house!
Early on, I had to establish that I did not dismiss her fears (as my Sister had appeared to do during their conversation about this) and that I just wanted to know what had actually happened and why she thought it was happening.
The events that she claimed were going on, the neighbours are looking into the house, the neighbours are closing cupboards and wardrobes in the house, even that they are stretching her shoes and cutting lines in the bottom of them; all this through a key they obtained nearly 4 years ago, they have only began doing it now. Despite these serious allegations, she had never once seen them inside their home.
The end aim of these acts, to expunge her from the house. How? She didn't know, over and over again, she didn't know. At one point, I asked her to explain how these mean pranks would force her out, she thought for over 10 minutes and was still unable to say.
In the most extreme case, she alleged that my Dad and the neighbour are working together to get rid of her, that they are by shutting the recycling bins, drumming out a code to each other; what the code is, she doesn't know or have any proof of.
Sadly, it appears that she is taking events that had actually happened (a wardrobe being shut), attributing a theory of how it happened (the neighbour doing it) and then adding her own created story (that they are forcing her out.)
This would be unusual for most families, not here. When I do post about the Counselling Workshop, one of the things that I took from my childhood I feel was my resilience to this growing up, I don't feel angry or ashamed about my Mum, I just want to help her in any small way I can. This is an absolute strength in who I am today and I post this publicly as people should not be ashamed of mental illness.
I accepted that she was feeling this way and listened to her but realised the holes in her story without holding them against my Mum or making her feel talked down to. I hope it was beneficial to her, as she doesn't get many outlets for getting these thoughts out, whether they are paranoia or not. I just hope that the psychologist she speaks to later can help both her and my Dad out.
P.S. Apologies, comments and posts catch is up is well overdue! But as you can see, life stuff keeps on happening..!
I'd seen a number of the games during the tournament with mates and/or with Toni, so wanted to go see my folks for one and if they weren't in the mood for much talking, at least the match could carry the conversation a wee bit. As it happened, my Mum was definitely in the mood for chatting...
It interrupted nicely the tedium of the mediocre 1-0 final of a poor tournament, to be honest! As my Mum outlined a number of scenarios where she thought the next door neighbours have got into the house using a key they have covertly copied!
As some of you will have noticed, I am studying Counselling currently, however, you can't Counsel those you know fully, as you will betray the neutrality you are supposed to possess. You can however, empathise, be congruent and show unconditional positive regard to what others are saying and can also listen to what feelings are underlying with greater skill, so that's what I chose to do.
I let my Mum speak for much of the next seventy minutes, outlining how she thought our neighbours are entering their house and doing these acts, not to her, only possessions. Over time, she disclosed that their ultimate intention of doing so was to 'remove' her from the house!
Early on, I had to establish that I did not dismiss her fears (as my Sister had appeared to do during their conversation about this) and that I just wanted to know what had actually happened and why she thought it was happening.
The events that she claimed were going on, the neighbours are looking into the house, the neighbours are closing cupboards and wardrobes in the house, even that they are stretching her shoes and cutting lines in the bottom of them; all this through a key they obtained nearly 4 years ago, they have only began doing it now. Despite these serious allegations, she had never once seen them inside their home.
The end aim of these acts, to expunge her from the house. How? She didn't know, over and over again, she didn't know. At one point, I asked her to explain how these mean pranks would force her out, she thought for over 10 minutes and was still unable to say.
In the most extreme case, she alleged that my Dad and the neighbour are working together to get rid of her, that they are by shutting the recycling bins, drumming out a code to each other; what the code is, she doesn't know or have any proof of.
Sadly, it appears that she is taking events that had actually happened (a wardrobe being shut), attributing a theory of how it happened (the neighbour doing it) and then adding her own created story (that they are forcing her out.)
This would be unusual for most families, not here. When I do post about the Counselling Workshop, one of the things that I took from my childhood I feel was my resilience to this growing up, I don't feel angry or ashamed about my Mum, I just want to help her in any small way I can. This is an absolute strength in who I am today and I post this publicly as people should not be ashamed of mental illness.
I accepted that she was feeling this way and listened to her but realised the holes in her story without holding them against my Mum or making her feel talked down to. I hope it was beneficial to her, as she doesn't get many outlets for getting these thoughts out, whether they are paranoia or not. I just hope that the psychologist she speaks to later can help both her and my Dad out.
P.S. Apologies, comments and posts catch is up is well overdue! But as you can see, life stuff keeps on happening..!