What's done is done
I may have made a huge mistake but at least it's done. I sent Edy an offline msn message basically saying how I've felt for ages. I had to today. I was speaking to him over MSN and he was telling me about him going to Turkey tomorrow. I'd got to the stage where I was fed up sending messages and not hearing back so I let him contact me. And he did last night and told me about Turkey etc. Anyway. I asked if it was friends or family to which he responded that it was "a" friend and it was a girl cos they'd both been let down by respective friends, on booking holidays, so they decided to book one. That really bothered me. And that's when I knew I had to say something. But I couldn't. So we kept on talking and we were getting on as usual. It was fine. But the fact him and a female friend were going on holiday still really choked me!
That's terrible isn't it?
I actually had to hold back tears. So when he left I started talking to another friend from uni, Den. Now I really listen to his advice so he asked me what was wrong. And I told him.
The first thing he said was tell him!!! For one it's peace of mind and it gets it out in the open. So he knows. I was so scared. But he put across a good argument. So I wrote something and got him to check it over. I was shaking. I felt sick. But I sent it. This was it:
"hey again hehe . look. there was something else i wanted to say..... actually for a bit. This is not meant to sound stupid/silly but i've started to have real feelings for you. And I have for a while. I've wanted to say something for ages lol. But I need to get it off my chest. I know you have a lot on at the mo, and going away, so if you're not feeling the same or "there" then cool. But I would just like to know. If not then I want nothing to change. I like you as a friend, as well. And I don't want to lose that. I just needed to tell you. have a good time again xx"
Now I just have to wait. Problem is - what if he doesn't see it till after he gets back? At least I've said my bit. I haven't done this in yonks and I'm terrified. I've done the right thing right? :S The thing is, it's been going on long enough. I need to know. Den did say about phoning but I would have fallen apart. This was the next best way
That's terrible isn't it?
I actually had to hold back tears. So when he left I started talking to another friend from uni, Den. Now I really listen to his advice so he asked me what was wrong. And I told him.
The first thing he said was tell him!!! For one it's peace of mind and it gets it out in the open. So he knows. I was so scared. But he put across a good argument. So I wrote something and got him to check it over. I was shaking. I felt sick. But I sent it. This was it:
"hey again hehe . look. there was something else i wanted to say..... actually for a bit. This is not meant to sound stupid/silly but i've started to have real feelings for you. And I have for a while. I've wanted to say something for ages lol. But I need to get it off my chest. I know you have a lot on at the mo, and going away, so if you're not feeling the same or "there" then cool. But I would just like to know. If not then I want nothing to change. I like you as a friend, as well. And I don't want to lose that. I just needed to tell you. have a good time again xx"
Now I just have to wait. Problem is - what if he doesn't see it till after he gets back? At least I've said my bit. I haven't done this in yonks and I'm terrified. I've done the right thing right? :S The thing is, it's been going on long enough. I need to know. Den did say about phoning but I would have fallen apart. This was the next best way