Wal Mart is hell on earth for me right now. I ended up cryying my eyes out the other daym seeing the back to school lists, back packs, and oh yeah all the weird lights and light bulbs Hayden used to dig.
You're right, there is no escape. I could go to Amsterdam, Ireland, Madagascar, anywhere... and it would not make this any less painful.
I am going to my first "Bereaved Parents: group meeting this Monday. I figure, hey, those people will at least understand what I am going thru and perhaps help me put things in perspective, ie. I am not going crazy, nor am I a basket case.
I miss Hayden so much. I someties think, "Anyone but him!". And that is so damn selfish of me because I have another child I am raising but I can't help the way I feel. ANyone but Hayden.
Please add me to your friends list and email me if you get the chance, Maybe we can somehow help each other? I dunno anymore though. Perhaps I am beyond helping. I would love to talk to you and share with you about our wonderful and "different (Hell Ya!) sons. One in a million is what they were. It hurts when they aren't here anymore, and seems so pointless and so unfair, as if we were stolen of the most important thing ever. Nothing can be worse than this. Hayden's brother, Conor, who will turn 4 on the 25th of this month, is all that keeps me from running. Won't be the same without the bro he emulated there at his party. Peace. And I hope you write me sometime.
With Love and Peace, Kelli kelli@hisss.net www.hisss.net/hayden.shtml
You're right, there is no escape. I could go to Amsterdam, Ireland, Madagascar, anywhere... and it would not make this any less painful.
I am going to my first "Bereaved Parents: group meeting this Monday. I figure, hey, those people will at least understand what I am going thru and perhaps help me put things in perspective, ie. I am not going crazy, nor am I a basket case.
I miss Hayden so much. I someties think, "Anyone but him!". And that is so damn selfish of me because I have another child I am raising but I can't help the way I feel. ANyone but Hayden.
Please add me to your friends list and email me if you get the chance, Maybe we can somehow help each other? I dunno anymore though. Perhaps I am beyond helping. I would love to talk to you and share with you about our wonderful and "different (Hell Ya!) sons. One in a million is what they were. It hurts when they aren't here anymore, and seems so pointless and so unfair, as if we were stolen of the most important thing ever. Nothing can be worse than this. Hayden's brother, Conor, who will turn 4 on the 25th of this month, is all that keeps me from running. Won't be the same without the bro he emulated there at his party.
Peace. And I hope you write me sometime.
With Love and Peace,
Kelli
kelli@hisss.net
www.hisss.net/hayden.shtml
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