no i haven't given in.
a few kisses later im feeling pretty damn good.
my weekends are no longer seen as a break from school but a break from life.
my dad used to wake up me up with a few knocks to the head.
now its paola's anxious arms doing all the waking.
every minute is spent thinking of my future.
today i was thinking how id explain to our families if paola contracted some disease where she had to have a baby now or never becuase in 1 year theyd have to remove her ovaries. The whacked out situations dance drunkingly around in my head like two ,once straightedge, kids. in a few hours im going to play some xbox. i only wish games where simple enough for my dad. or even paola. i remember playing nintendo with my dad alnight. i have my brother but between fights not much videogame playing gets done. One time paola really got into a game. Not only does she reside in my heart but now she started a videogame fire. i fire that shortly died out. like all fires do.
the only flame that still burns as bright as the day it was light is the love i have for paola. the way she fuels my heart with her eyes contributes to that.
My business is suffering badly and so is my wallet. bank. becuase i can't stand carrying my wallet. i feel shity speaking of my life. i.e. my dads business. i don't see it as the information on whats new in jeffreys life. im just typing becuase paolas sister told me to wait 20 minutes before calling back. its been 25. the only reason i haven't called yet is becuase im thinking why hasn't she called me. i know shes feeling pretty damn bad but i noticed she updated her journal around 6 or so. she seemed pretty fucking giddy about it too. i need to call my cousin before the nights end to ensure that were going to see each other tomorrow. hopefully i'll get my wish. im really sad now. becuase i typed " finally i'll get my wish" i paused for a few minutes and tried writting how my true wish is to see you now paola. oh i just fucked up the whole entry.
my weekends are no longer seen as a break from school but a break from life.
my dad used to wake up me up with a few knocks to the head.
now its paola's anxious arms doing all the waking.
every minute is spent thinking of my future.
today i was thinking how id explain to our families if paola contracted some disease where she had to have a baby now or never becuase in 1 year theyd have to remove her ovaries. The whacked out situations dance drunkingly around in my head like two ,once straightedge, kids. in a few hours im going to play some xbox. i only wish games where simple enough for my dad. or even paola. i remember playing nintendo with my dad alnight. i have my brother but between fights not much videogame playing gets done. One time paola really got into a game. Not only does she reside in my heart but now she started a videogame fire. i fire that shortly died out. like all fires do.
the only flame that still burns as bright as the day it was light is the love i have for paola. the way she fuels my heart with her eyes contributes to that.
My business is suffering badly and so is my wallet. bank. becuase i can't stand carrying my wallet. i feel shity speaking of my life. i.e. my dads business. i don't see it as the information on whats new in jeffreys life. im just typing becuase paolas sister told me to wait 20 minutes before calling back. its been 25. the only reason i haven't called yet is becuase im thinking why hasn't she called me. i know shes feeling pretty damn bad but i noticed she updated her journal around 6 or so. she seemed pretty fucking giddy about it too. i need to call my cousin before the nights end to ensure that were going to see each other tomorrow. hopefully i'll get my wish. im really sad now. becuase i typed " finally i'll get my wish" i paused for a few minutes and tried writting how my true wish is to see you now paola. oh i just fucked up the whole entry.