John Kerry
"John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise $80 million before the Democratic convention. That's a lot of money. Yeah, Kerry has two ways to raise the $80 million: soliciting Democratic donors and going through his wife's purse." -Conan O'Brien
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." -Jay Leno
John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician." -Jay Leno
This one's for Brandy:
"John Kerry was in Florida this week, reaching out and talking with elderly voters. You know, I think it made Kerry a little uncomfortable to be with these elderly people. He finally got a chance to see what he'd look like without Botox." -Jay Leno
Listen to this:
Friday, June 25, 2004
GIs Boycott 'Kabul for Kerry'
About 60 American expatriates in Afghanistan held a fund-raiser today for Sen. John Kerry's presidential campaign, the Associated Press reported.
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Much of the "Kabul for Kerry" crowd was, predictably, "aid workers," i.e., employees of left-wing nongovernmental organizations subsidized by money confiscated from you by the IRS. Most of the Kerry fans in attendance were on the payroll of U.S. taxpayer-funded projects, said "education aid worker" Stephen Landrigan.
A "health sector worker" from Baltimore named - as Dave Barry says, we are not making this up - Ayan Hussein said she wanted to help bring about a "regime change" in Washington.
The most telling detail was buried eight paragraphs down in the article:
"None of the thousands of U.S. military personnel based in Afghanistan to hunt for al-Qaida and Taliban rebels turned up for Friday's event."
