(no subject)
Quick update, cause I decided it was time I started writing in this thing again to get things out and get my head straight. I dont think anyone really reads this anymore, its mostly just for me now.
Mike and I are no longer together. We can use the front "we grew apart" over and over again, but the real reason is that I was not enough for him and he fell in love with someone else. Eh, thats the way life goes right? I will live. I am already stronger. I have since moved in with Kirby and Chris, I dont know where I would be without them being here for me. They have been amazing. As for Mike and I, we still talk everyday all day, and spend most of our nights together as well. We are in a weird place.
I work at Kalahari in the Conference Center as a banquet server. I like my job. Its always changing and very unique. I get to work with great people everyday. I am getting promoted hopefully soon, and things are going well on that front.
Thats about everything going on in my life. I work like 60 hours a week, so i barely have time to shower let alone talk to anyone. I feel horrible about it, but with everything thats going on in my head and my life I just dont have the mental energy to converse like a human being.
I know my friends and family feel like I am alienating them, and I feel like shit everyday because of it. For one thing, i hate talking on the phone more than anything. And two, I dont have a car so I cant just swing by for a little chat. I hate myself for it, yet I still dont do anything to change it.
I am going to try and update every once in awhile. Mostly it will just be Lyrics to a song I have been listening to, maybe a quote or movie line, or even pictures. Anything to get a little bit of what I have been feeling out.
I will start with a song by Miley Cyrus, and if you know anything about me, its how much I hate Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus as a whole... but the lyrics to this just hit waaaay to close to home.
I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared
It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My dear
The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not comin back
You're taking seven steps here
The seven things I hate about you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The seven that I like
The seven things I like about you
Your hair
Your eyes
Your old Levi's
When we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You made me laugh, you made me cry, but I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine when we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you
Mike and I are no longer together. We can use the front "we grew apart" over and over again, but the real reason is that I was not enough for him and he fell in love with someone else. Eh, thats the way life goes right? I will live. I am already stronger. I have since moved in with Kirby and Chris, I dont know where I would be without them being here for me. They have been amazing. As for Mike and I, we still talk everyday all day, and spend most of our nights together as well. We are in a weird place.
I work at Kalahari in the Conference Center as a banquet server. I like my job. Its always changing and very unique. I get to work with great people everyday. I am getting promoted hopefully soon, and things are going well on that front.
Thats about everything going on in my life. I work like 60 hours a week, so i barely have time to shower let alone talk to anyone. I feel horrible about it, but with everything thats going on in my head and my life I just dont have the mental energy to converse like a human being.
I know my friends and family feel like I am alienating them, and I feel like shit everyday because of it. For one thing, i hate talking on the phone more than anything. And two, I dont have a car so I cant just swing by for a little chat. I hate myself for it, yet I still dont do anything to change it.
I am going to try and update every once in awhile. Mostly it will just be Lyrics to a song I have been listening to, maybe a quote or movie line, or even pictures. Anything to get a little bit of what I have been feeling out.
I will start with a song by Miley Cyrus, and if you know anything about me, its how much I hate Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus as a whole... but the lyrics to this just hit waaaay to close to home.
I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared
It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My dear
The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not comin back
You're taking seven steps here
The seven things I hate about you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The seven that I like
The seven things I like about you
Your hair
Your eyes
Your old Levi's
When we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You made me laugh, you made me cry, but I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine when we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you