oh yeah... this is my seat.
I never ever thought I'd edit this thing, but I have... it's more out of self preservation than anything else... For those of you who've been reading (and I swear there's only like two of you out there) you will notice what's missing... if a third person should come along and start reading, well, you've missed out.
All I will say is this: This one hurts. Shot in the chest, slam your hand in the car door, large blunt object to the head hurts. More than any one of them has hurt in a very, very long while. I have that numb, achey, shakey, empty, lost feeling. It's done. It's over. And as much as I'd like to think that there's always a chance... I think this one is cooked. Now all that is left are hours of blindly staring at the wall, and that empty feeling in my chest... hello old friend, how I've missed you.
I feel stupid, bottom rank level stupid... and I don't want pitty, or sorrow, or anything... just... maybe to move to another city, or country, hell I'd even be willing to get shot into space right about now.
I feel bad, I do... this isn't what I wanted... not even in the worst case scenario... I'm sorry, but it is what it is, none of us can help how we feel, I can't, just like you can't.
So... now what? Fuck if I know... I'm going to bed... Hopefully I'll wake up after Autumn.
All I will say is this: This one hurts. Shot in the chest, slam your hand in the car door, large blunt object to the head hurts. More than any one of them has hurt in a very, very long while. I have that numb, achey, shakey, empty, lost feeling. It's done. It's over. And as much as I'd like to think that there's always a chance... I think this one is cooked. Now all that is left are hours of blindly staring at the wall, and that empty feeling in my chest... hello old friend, how I've missed you.
I feel stupid, bottom rank level stupid... and I don't want pitty, or sorrow, or anything... just... maybe to move to another city, or country, hell I'd even be willing to get shot into space right about now.
I feel bad, I do... this isn't what I wanted... not even in the worst case scenario... I'm sorry, but it is what it is, none of us can help how we feel, I can't, just like you can't.
So... now what? Fuck if I know... I'm going to bed... Hopefully I'll wake up after Autumn.