Katie Beth Makes an Impression
In Chicago, and earlier this evening I did something I hadn't done in literally 26 years: Held a baby. We finally got to meet Katie Beth Roper, daughter of my sister Gretchen and her husband Bill. Katie is certainly the most placid and well-behaved newborn I've ever spent any time with. The last time I had any close contact with babies was in 1980, when I held my high school locker partner Tom Barounis' firstborn, who was a couple of months old at the time. I was afraid I would drop little Tim (who, by the way, is now a newly minted physician) or in some other way damage him, and Carol teases me about it to this day.
Not a problem with Katie. Gretchen sat me in one of their easy chairs and dropped Katie in my lap. I was expecting her to either scream, throw up, or both, but lo! She leaned back, yawned, and went to sleep, gripping my index finger in her very tiny right hand. So I leaned back and contemplated godfatherhood for a moment, with the side thought that babies are nice and warm. It wasn't until dinner was ready and Gretchen scooped her out of my lap to put her in her crib that we realized that the warmth was a passing thing. Katie had just had a different sort of garment malfunction. Gretchen was trying out a new brand of diapers that wasn't, in fact, the best fit, and, well-was I so naive as to think that the baby business wasn't messy?
Yes, my niece peed on me. In fifteen or sixteen years, when we're visiting and she has her boyfriend with her at dinner, I will tell the tale with some relish. And then (doubtless) I will be wearing the relish. No matter-it stains less than ketchup.