Beware the first plague is upon all you ungrateful fucks

[jeezus]

Liek omg, I totally understand Gollum.

Kids, Gollum is liek me, omg. Gollum has his two personalities, being Smeagol and Gollum, pk? Well, liek Jeezus has the same thing one personality is Scottish and the other is an American. Liek, do you understand why I'm so fucked up now?

Anyway, we have really cool conversations with ourselves too. Liek omg.

Scottish Jeezus: Liek, omg.
American Jeezus: Liek, omg!
Scottish Jeezus: We should totally smite these fuckers.
American Jeezus: Omg, liek we totally should.
Scottish Jeezus: Liek, I am going to call Daddy and say 'Oy, Dad, the humans are worshipping golden cough drops now, kill the bastards.
American Jeezus: Liek, omg, YES! That is liek totally kewl! Omg, we have to be bigger than a flood though. Liek, we should torture the fuckers first.
Scottish Jeezus: Omg, liek yes totally.
American Jeezus: Omg, we can liek put moose piss in the soda supply.
Scottish Jeezus: I NOW TURN SODA INTO PISS!
American Jeezus: Omg, liek we are so sexy.
Scottish Jeezus: Yes, we are.

Omg, I so totally relate to Gollum. He is my hero, I would liek die without his existence.

Omg, Jude Law is liek so hot.