Wed 8/13/14
Didn't do much today.
Fine day at work. Rose brought donuts, yay!
Mom and I ran errands after work. Got a bunch of stuff for the bridal shower so that was productive. I stocked up on my orange toothpaste (I hate mint so I use a citrus one lol).
Tonight is 3 weeks since we broke up. 2 since we talked (I think). It really is sad. He was my best friend for 11 months and now he's gone forever. Really really sad. But it wasn't meant to be and I have to learn to be strong on my own. And I'm trying really damn hard. But it's lonely and I miss him and having a boyfriend. Being happy. It's sad. I don't like being alone. My anxiety over not being able to be alone is significantly better this week, which I forgot to mention to Annie. So that's a good step in the right direction. But I'm still very sad to have lost him. I was way too good to him. I hate that I was so nice to him, but I wouldn't do it any differently. That's just who I am. I am going to always be overly nice and thoughtful and accommodating and like being that way. I just wish I could find someone who was more reciprocal, or to whom it meant more. Hopefully some day.
Tomorrow, more of the same. Hoping Mom can help me work on my room tomorrow night. It's kind of a fucking disaster. And I gotta run to Target to return a dress and hopefully find some sweaters for which I have a discount on the cartwheel app. Woot!
Time to curl up and try to sleep. I've been sleeping with my spare pillows on the edge of the bed so I can put my knee/leg on them, and that seems to help me sleep a bit. Fuck do I just want a new bed though. Soft cushy mattress...mmmmm.....
Xoxo
Fine day at work. Rose brought donuts, yay!
Mom and I ran errands after work. Got a bunch of stuff for the bridal shower so that was productive. I stocked up on my orange toothpaste (I hate mint so I use a citrus one lol).
Tonight is 3 weeks since we broke up. 2 since we talked (I think). It really is sad. He was my best friend for 11 months and now he's gone forever. Really really sad. But it wasn't meant to be and I have to learn to be strong on my own. And I'm trying really damn hard. But it's lonely and I miss him and having a boyfriend. Being happy. It's sad. I don't like being alone. My anxiety over not being able to be alone is significantly better this week, which I forgot to mention to Annie. So that's a good step in the right direction. But I'm still very sad to have lost him. I was way too good to him. I hate that I was so nice to him, but I wouldn't do it any differently. That's just who I am. I am going to always be overly nice and thoughtful and accommodating and like being that way. I just wish I could find someone who was more reciprocal, or to whom it meant more. Hopefully some day.
Tomorrow, more of the same. Hoping Mom can help me work on my room tomorrow night. It's kind of a fucking disaster. And I gotta run to Target to return a dress and hopefully find some sweaters for which I have a discount on the cartwheel app. Woot!
Time to curl up and try to sleep. I've been sleeping with my spare pillows on the edge of the bed so I can put my knee/leg on them, and that seems to help me sleep a bit. Fuck do I just want a new bed though. Soft cushy mattress...mmmmm.....
Xoxo