HUMBUG!
I’ve spent the last year working myself literally to the point of tears to make sure that 2012 starts off ahead on the bills, and not having to ever borrow from friends and family again. Being off work for 6 years for various surgeries then struggling with emotional issues during my first year back have made my 2 year plan to be in this financial situation as the year comes to an end quite a challenge.
From here we enter the shit storm that is Christmas. My kids are wonderful and have no issue with having a decent but moderate Christmas. I have insisted that I will NOT add the stress of falling behind on my bills or going into any debt for the sake of a holiday that should bring a feeling of piece and comfort to everyone’s life.
Of course by being financially responsible I have set myself up for all the anxiety that comes with wondering if I have bought enough presents for those I did buy for. I’m worried that I didn’t buy for enough people. At one point I was wondering if I was just being selfish for not just borrowing a few thousand dollars so I could buy more crap for more people. In most cases crap that they most likely wouldn’t really need or want anyway.
When I think about thing’s from a practical point of view I realize that I have set my kids and I up for a wonderful 2012 with enough cash floating around that we can do a bunch of weekend trips possibly a 2 week road trip in the summer and we’ll not have to worry about money all year.
Then I look under our empty tree and think about the few little things I have for the kids and start panicking again.
I really fucking hate Christmas.
After writing all of this I realize that what I’m trying to give my kids for Christmas is a wonderful 2012. Now all I have to do is figure out how to put a year under my ratty old fake Christmas tree.
From here we enter the shit storm that is Christmas. My kids are wonderful and have no issue with having a decent but moderate Christmas. I have insisted that I will NOT add the stress of falling behind on my bills or going into any debt for the sake of a holiday that should bring a feeling of piece and comfort to everyone’s life.
Of course by being financially responsible I have set myself up for all the anxiety that comes with wondering if I have bought enough presents for those I did buy for. I’m worried that I didn’t buy for enough people. At one point I was wondering if I was just being selfish for not just borrowing a few thousand dollars so I could buy more crap for more people. In most cases crap that they most likely wouldn’t really need or want anyway.
When I think about thing’s from a practical point of view I realize that I have set my kids and I up for a wonderful 2012 with enough cash floating around that we can do a bunch of weekend trips possibly a 2 week road trip in the summer and we’ll not have to worry about money all year.
Then I look under our empty tree and think about the few little things I have for the kids and start panicking again.
I really fucking hate Christmas.
After writing all of this I realize that what I’m trying to give my kids for Christmas is a wonderful 2012. Now all I have to do is figure out how to put a year under my ratty old fake Christmas tree.