Is this really me?
I just need to stop living with my parents. I need to get a place of my own. My mom is insane with her phone calls. She called me every minute, for ten minutes yesterday because I didn't answer. I'm gunna be 24, I don't need help crossing the street anymore. I'm not the same person I use to be. And I'm getting so tired of trying to give them the persuasive speech. I think at some point my grades and working two jobs should speak for themselves, but not with my family. To them I will always be the perpetual screw up. So when you live with people who wait for you to fall all the time, and then they talk about me moving to Los Vagas. I think nothing but....FUCK THAT!!! What is really going through my mind is, your lucky if I talk to you once a week after I don't need you for health insurance any longer. They don't know me and at this point, I don't want them too.
Just yesterday I said something that I thought would never come out of my mouth. I said to John that I needed him in my life. The other day at work, I was mad that because he didn't have a phone so he had no way of telling me he didn't want to hangout, like we had planned the previous day. I was pissed when I saw him the next day at work and there was no apology to be found. I tried so hard to convince myself, to forget him. That I could get rid of him if I wanted to. But no matter what I said to myself in the middle of closing Panera down, I kept coming back to the same thing. Yeah you could dump his ass, but you love him, and you need him. Its terrible. A part of me really hates it because I think the control freak deep down inside of me, realizes that she lost. And as much as I hate losing, I think I'm gunna have to except defeat on this one. I think in this instance, it just might be better than winning. I can't believe I just wrote that. But I guess that's what happens sometimes, you meet people and they change or alter your perspective on certain things. That's awesome I think :)
Just yesterday I said something that I thought would never come out of my mouth. I said to John that I needed him in my life. The other day at work, I was mad that because he didn't have a phone so he had no way of telling me he didn't want to hangout, like we had planned the previous day. I was pissed when I saw him the next day at work and there was no apology to be found. I tried so hard to convince myself, to forget him. That I could get rid of him if I wanted to. But no matter what I said to myself in the middle of closing Panera down, I kept coming back to the same thing. Yeah you could dump his ass, but you love him, and you need him. Its terrible. A part of me really hates it because I think the control freak deep down inside of me, realizes that she lost. And as much as I hate losing, I think I'm gunna have to except defeat on this one. I think in this instance, it just might be better than winning. I can't believe I just wrote that. But I guess that's what happens sometimes, you meet people and they change or alter your perspective on certain things. That's awesome I think :)