(no subject)
A while ago, my mom sent me an email
titled "New Local Barbies"... created based on the Genesee country
area... and here are their discriptions.... lol....
Flushing Barbie: This princess Barbie is sold only at Genesee Valley
Mall. She comes with an assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
longhaired foreign dog named Honey and a "cookie cutter" $2,000,000.00
house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic
Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Davison Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford
Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has
no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell
phone sold separately.
Beecher Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a
Ray Lewis knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe.
This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash
(preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then
wedon't know what you are talking about.
Grand Blanc Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit
card and "The Country Club" membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any
of them.
Clio Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two
sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.
She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can
spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.
Swartz Creek Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a
leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining
friends. Percocet prescription available.
Eastside Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair
of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased beer-gutted Ken out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Hurley Hospital Barbie: This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant
doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and
his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since
the addition of the infant.
Downtown Flint Barbie/Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted
from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple
"snap-on" parts.
Hopefully you found these as funny as I did!!!
Bye for now!!
Flushing Barbie: This princess Barbie is sold only at Genesee Valley
Mall. She comes with an assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
longhaired foreign dog named Honey and a "cookie cutter" $2,000,000.00
house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic
Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Davison Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford
Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has
no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell
phone sold separately.
Beecher Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a
Ray Lewis knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe.
This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash
(preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then
wedon't know what you are talking about.
Grand Blanc Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit
card and "The Country Club" membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any
of them.
Clio Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two
sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.
She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can
spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.
Swartz Creek Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a
leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining
friends. Percocet prescription available.
Eastside Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair
of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased beer-gutted Ken out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Hurley Hospital Barbie: This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant
doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and
his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since
the addition of the infant.
Downtown Flint Barbie/Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted
from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple
"snap-on" parts.
Hopefully you found these as funny as I did!!!
Bye for now!!