Letter #308 "Small Confession (Did you know?)" - Posted on 08/12/10
Even common words such as "I love you"
Make my heart stop.
If it was a belief that could break so easily..
If it was something I could talk so lightly about..
I wouldn't have liked you at all.
Whether you are a unit group or not,
I believe in you.
Because the most important thing right now
Is TVXQ.
Disbandment-I don't believe in such thing.
At least, not until that word comes from your mouths...
I'm walking on a tightrope, holding onto that one strand of hope.
The rope is swaying side to side...
So... So that I can cross,
Help me.
.....
I'm hurt. I'm tired. I'm worn out.
I love you. I'll wait. I believe in you.
Oh- When I let you go and you turned around
The white snow that fell on my shoulder looked so sad
Your retreating form keeps becoming clearer the more you fade away
Kim Junsu, did you know?
That I couldn't bear to leave you when your tears are so sincere.
Your tears are holding me here.
Honestly, it's so tiring and painful.
Tears well up in my eyes ten times a day. How did we end up like this?
Sometimes I would feel hatred towards you,
Sometimes I would tell myself to stop all this.
But, it's not that easy to forget.
The times we spent together are embedded so deep within my body, I can't take them out.
Because my love for TVXQ is tens of times bigger than that hatred, I can't hate you.
Because when I look back on the times we spent together,
You were the people who gave us great faith...
Because even though you're hurting us like this,
You are the people who keep us holding on..
So, that is why I wait. Because you are TVXQ.
Because the memories reflected on your cloudy eyes are so painful
I try closing my eyes, but it's useless
I can't let you go, I can't let you go
I don't want any other love
Kim Jaejoong, did you know?
That the memories we made together. have piled up and refuse to be forgotten.
Though there are painful and hurtful memories, they are nothing but a small portion.
You would smile and sing, we would cheer you on...
Because that became such an obvious norm, I feel empty right now.
You were always by my side, but now I feel like you're getting too far away.
I feel anxious, I'm hurt, I'm wearing out...
But, I see your smiles and make myself pull through...
This has become my daily routine...
Though it's a situation I could never get used to, I feel like we've overcome so much.
Though we can't see the end right now, it's surely there...
Though I can't see you right now,
I can feel you in my heart, continuing on in front of us.
Though I don't know what is the truth, and what is a lie...
I know that TVXQ and Cassiopeia...
Will meet again at the end of the road. I believe that.
Another day like yesterday begins
Am I supposed to laugh without you and live without you
Shim Changmin, did you know?
That I sometimes wish this could all be a dream...
That I'll be able to wake up and laugh with you again.
But when I do wake, tears well up and I think of our memories.
I want to laugh, but I can't. I tell myself it's going to be okay, but it's not.
Because TVXQ was always at the center of my laughter.
Because you are the people who my heart calls for, who I want to love.
Because you are the people I want to be with forever.
That's why I sometimes wish this could all be a dream.
I wish that we were all dreaming right now...
That when the dream ends... we will all be smiling in the same place.
Because whether this is a dream or reality, TVXQ are the people I believe in.
So, let's laugh like yesterday.
Because we'll be waiting wherever you go.
A night like tonight, it feels like you are by my side
Like a fool, I call out for you again
Jung Yunho, did you know?
That I feel like you are so close to me.
When you're actually so far away, I know that you're so far away...
But why can I see you so clearly as if you were right next to me?
When you're not even by my side...
Why does the name TVXQ refuse to leave my mind and mouth...
I find myself remembering your faces... your voices
Why do I keep thinking of Yunho, Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin.
Why do I keep smiling as I recall our memories together.
My heart remembers.. My heart speaks
Though you aren't in front of me, your pictures and videos make my heart race
They make me cry, and they make me fall deeper in love with you.
Like a fool, I think of TVXQ today, like every other day.
When we'll be together, so that we can be happy
I'll prepare everything, so come lean on me like you did in the past
Park Yoochun, did you know?
That the one thing that hasn't changed, is that Cassiopeia loves TVXQ.
That Cassiopeia will always believe in TVXQ.
That if there are people who leave, there are also people who stay...
That these people will make up for the people who left by believing in you more.
Because we don't need to be 800,000 to be happy...
Like we did in the past, we will watch over as you sing
We'll clap for you when you get an award, we'll cheer for you, we'll cry with you
So promise us. That you'll return because we'll always be here.
Even if it takes a long time, if you tell us "We'll be back", we can wait.
No matter how painful or tiring it is, we will be able to survive on those words.
Nothing has changed. So please, promise you'll come back.
For the day when you return to me in the future, I'll wait here
Just like you were in the past.. I still want to give you all my days left in this life
My heart will reach you wherever you are...
TVXQ, did you know?
That we waited one year and seven months the first time you left us,
That we will wait, though we don't know till when, this second time.
Because we loved you unchangingly during that year and seven months,
And we will keep loving you forever and ever.
Because we still have so much time left together... We can go back.
We don't enforce it on you, I'm not saying you need to come back right now.
Just, please return when everything has been taken care of.
We'll always be running behind you. Keep looking forward and running towards the summit.
Because we love you and believe in you wherever you are.
Because we are eternal... Whether it takes days, weeks, years...
We will still be TVXQ and Cassiopeia. That fact will never change.
Our story never ends.
by. 심밤비
Source: [Naver Blog]
Translation credits: jeeelim5@tohosomnia.net
Shared by: tohosomnia.net
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