(no subject)

[jeeeean]

trying to pretend like I'm not affected is a hard thing to do.
it's like trying to pretend that i don't exist.

trying to smile smile smile even when i just want someone to hug me to sleep and let me cry all over their shirt.
i sound like such an emotional girl i don't even know why.

yeah, you were an idiot. 
you lied to me so well i believed all that shit.
you cancelled the plans we made a week ago on the day.
you then go around and fling with different girls every other week.
i don't know if i'm supposed to be angry or sad because i believed you when you fucking lied to me.

then there's all that shit with this stupid competition.
why am i the leader.
why do i have to do all that random shit.
why am i complaining.

fuck.
no seriously.
fuck.