(no subject)
today was hell....
"counsler" appointment... me upset... being mad at me... crying eyes out... worries... parents overlly concerned as ussual.... tim haveing to witness it all... and him being upset by it all... so frustrated with my parents he leaves me... so alone i am again in bed crying...
last night was first time tim saw me depressed...
and these past week or two things have been bad... worries mounting highly... and lots of worries i shouldnt have... and scares of work vs. school drama... and if work.... then where? here, or follow tim to his school? seems unfair. but if i work, then that would probably be a more logical option despite the horrid irony of it...
i need time. i need healing.
i stress tooooo much to try to please my parents, etc, working myself beyond stressed to do so... etc...
and me being forced to do things...
feeling like a failure and cant move
ignoreing friends phone calls (sorry everyone) for socializing seems too draining to even think about...
budinskie died
and his head was gone
trama upon trama...
and as pathetic as it seems... he was more to me then anyother pet had been... i got him to keep me going on when i was depressed and he helped me more then i could ever explaine... and now hes gone... i lost it.. i donno...
everything has been made complex and complicated beyond belife... its all so simple in reality...
etc etc...
more things to say... but head not clear and internet being shut off
"counsler" appointment... me upset... being mad at me... crying eyes out... worries... parents overlly concerned as ussual.... tim haveing to witness it all... and him being upset by it all... so frustrated with my parents he leaves me... so alone i am again in bed crying...
last night was first time tim saw me depressed...
and these past week or two things have been bad... worries mounting highly... and lots of worries i shouldnt have... and scares of work vs. school drama... and if work.... then where? here, or follow tim to his school? seems unfair. but if i work, then that would probably be a more logical option despite the horrid irony of it...
i need time. i need healing.
i stress tooooo much to try to please my parents, etc, working myself beyond stressed to do so... etc...
and me being forced to do things...
feeling like a failure and cant move
ignoreing friends phone calls (sorry everyone) for socializing seems too draining to even think about...
budinskie died
and his head was gone
trama upon trama...
and as pathetic as it seems... he was more to me then anyother pet had been... i got him to keep me going on when i was depressed and he helped me more then i could ever explaine... and now hes gone... i lost it.. i donno...
everything has been made complex and complicated beyond belife... its all so simple in reality...
etc etc...
more things to say... but head not clear and internet being shut off