Aug 03, 2008 23:34
I refuse to call it a fitting end, though it does end with happily ever after.
Just finished Breaking Dawn. Discussed it with Carina. She says it lacked enough action. I say it wasn't steamy enough for soft porn and she says it's too steamy for teens. Maybe it's a good "sexual abstinence" read. As in: "Just 'cause it's impossible, doesn't mean it can't happen, despite the contradiction, and when it does happen, it will so totally ruin your life, so don't do it." followed with the healthy, "But when you're married, doing it is SO MUCH FUN!" Our sexual values are so conflicted as a society.
Life is hard as a writer. I know that. But changing the rules in the middle of a series is so not fair, and this book leaves me unfulfilled because of it.
1. If you've been "dying" to be a vampire for years, your vampire husband blows your mind on honeymoon, tells you it's even better as a vampire (heightened senses!), how likely are you to suggest that "maybe I can stay human for a few more months?"
2. Childbirth: ever seen Alien? Changing into a vampire: ever been through childbirth? Yeah, it's like that.
3. Thirst. Give me more. I can think of delicious angles to take with a bloodthirsty vampire and a crooked lawyer. Seriously. She didn't even flinch.
4. And THEN he's not a werewolf? That's so THREE BOOKS AGO info! "You didn't ask." INDEED!
5. What the wimp-out ending? Seriously, build my suspense for 500 pages, then..."eh. Guess we'll go home now. Happy ever after." That's so...empty.
Examples from other pop lit:
Star Wars: "What? Suicide mission against that space station? Forget that. Come with me, we'll find a nice house and grow mushrooms."
Harry Potter: "Well. Voldemort's back. Can't be killed. I'm breaking my wand and getting a muggle job."
Gone With the Wind: "Frankly my dear, you're right. I DO need to shave."
Wizard of Oz: "You get the witch's shoes. And when you want to go home, you just click your heels together...."
Star Wars, episode 3: "Dude. You just knocked out your wife." "She'll get over it. Wanna get a drink?" "Sure. Wicked skills, man."
Star Trek: "Shall we fire phasers, Captain?" "Nah. There's been enough violence today. Send over a fruit basket and tell 'em that if I see 'em over this way again, we're gonna have a real deadly game of chess."
That last one actually had more potential than this ending. If Carlisle had said that, I would be crying for an encore.
All I'm saying is, leaving the audience with the feeling that yes, all the loose ends are tied up, but that "forever" isn't a boring "groundhog day" scenario.
6. Oh yeah. "Tragic hero" doesn't get the happily ever after, even if he is the dog.
I'm being hard here, I know. Some of these may even be petty. All in all, it was still a "still reading at 3 a.m." book. But it had a significant lack of moral, spiritual, or, for that matter, physical insight. (If a vampire can't physiologically change and is hard as a rock...the jokes are too many and too crude.) All I'm saying is, in 700+ pages, I don't feel like I've learned anything new about myself, nor, really, even about the characters. No backstory. No real progress. No moral dilemmas. The vampires are supposed to be damned, not your readers.
I would never skinny dip in the ocean, no matter how warm. Hot tubs are invented for those moments.
twilight