Hello Virtual World; I've missed you!
Wow, I feel like I haven't done anything constructive on ElJay in ages. Real life has gotten in the way of everything, not to mention the fact that I've been extremely depressed lately (not a new development in my life, just having a really bad episode these past two months - I'm trying to live without anti-depressants, but it's tough). I feel like I'm hella behind in the Heroes fandom (maybe because I am); I've been watching it (and boy, is it as good as ever), but I haven't touched any screencaps in weeks. Sad. Perhaps this is because whenever I'm not at work (and when am I not?), I'm hanging out with Marc.
Speaking of Marc, he's still in a lot of pain since the incident, and this morning he went back to the doctor's for the third time; they refilled prescriptions, told him he wasn't dying, gave him a shot and sent him on his way. Well, this afternoon he calls me and asks me if I can pick him up from work early because he's still in extraordinary amounts of pain and is considering going back to the hospital. Me=worried, as always. Fortunately though, he talked to one of the nurses and they told him he didn't need to go back to the hospital, but toold him he should still leave early, so I treated him to dinner at Outback (which means I have $23 in my acount until I get paid the 28th...shit).
Anyway, on top of all that, he's also been depressed lately because his ex-fiance (who he's still madly in love with) is a bitch who treats him like shit and never gives him the time of day. I try to help him but there's only so much I can do from the sidelines. Plus, I'm trying really hard to not get too emotionally attached beyond our "friendship with benefits" because I know that I can never be her. I know my place. But sometimes I just get so sick of being the one watching and waiting - waiting for him to call, waiting to hang out, waiting to be appreciated [I can hear you scream: end the whining here, please, Caitlin, I beg you!]. And it's not just with him, it's Meagan too, who never called to tell me she landed safely (and still hasn't called since returning; I'm guessing she's alive), and Holly, and Zach, and all my friends. I'm always the one waiting, and lending a shoulder, and letting them take advantage of me. And the worst part is, I can't NOT do that. I don't know how to turn it off,and I think if I did, I'd be irrevocably damaged because I care so deeply for my friends that I'd give them anything, do anything, just to make them happy.
I'm just getting so emotionally exhausted right now...
But thankfully, I have two - count 'em, TWO - days off in a row and Marc's working the rest of the week so I have absolutely no plans. I'll probably end up hella bored and wish I'm at work, but in the meantime, I plan on working on icons and fics until my fingers break and my eyes fall out. Or, y'know, something similar but less crippling than that...
OMG - the beautiful Pretrelli brothers are on G4. Must watch!
Speaking of Marc, he's still in a lot of pain since the incident, and this morning he went back to the doctor's for the third time; they refilled prescriptions, told him he wasn't dying, gave him a shot and sent him on his way. Well, this afternoon he calls me and asks me if I can pick him up from work early because he's still in extraordinary amounts of pain and is considering going back to the hospital. Me=worried, as always. Fortunately though, he talked to one of the nurses and they told him he didn't need to go back to the hospital, but toold him he should still leave early, so I treated him to dinner at Outback (which means I have $23 in my acount until I get paid the 28th...shit).
Anyway, on top of all that, he's also been depressed lately because his ex-fiance (who he's still madly in love with) is a bitch who treats him like shit and never gives him the time of day. I try to help him but there's only so much I can do from the sidelines. Plus, I'm trying really hard to not get too emotionally attached beyond our "friendship with benefits" because I know that I can never be her. I know my place. But sometimes I just get so sick of being the one watching and waiting - waiting for him to call, waiting to hang out, waiting to be appreciated [I can hear you scream: end the whining here, please, Caitlin, I beg you!]. And it's not just with him, it's Meagan too, who never called to tell me she landed safely (and still hasn't called since returning; I'm guessing she's alive), and Holly, and Zach, and all my friends. I'm always the one waiting, and lending a shoulder, and letting them take advantage of me. And the worst part is, I can't NOT do that. I don't know how to turn it off,and I think if I did, I'd be irrevocably damaged because I care so deeply for my friends that I'd give them anything, do anything, just to make them happy.
I'm just getting so emotionally exhausted right now...
But thankfully, I have two - count 'em, TWO - days off in a row and Marc's working the rest of the week so I have absolutely no plans. I'll probably end up hella bored and wish I'm at work, but in the meantime, I plan on working on icons and fics until my fingers break and my eyes fall out. Or, y'know, something similar but less crippling than that...
OMG - the beautiful Pretrelli brothers are on G4. Must watch!