Yub Yub, Fruit Loop - A Wes Janson fic
Posting this for the pilot fans on LJ!
Title: Yub Yub, Fruit Loop
Author: JediMara77
Character: Wes Janson
Genre: Humor, introspection
For the Humor Me quote challenge:
My quote:
12. I am a fruit loop in a world of cheerios. - unknown
-----------------
I am a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios
Luke Skywalker was my first CO to say that to me.
Us Rogues were hanging out in the mess on Hoth, enjoying one of our rare moments of downtime on the ice planet. Well, trying to enjoy our downtime was more like it. Everyone had something to complain about-the cold, the tauntauns, how long it was taking the speeders to get working, the cold, the lack of booze, the lack of good food, the cold, the lack of women, the cold.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I jumped on top of the table and mooned everyone.
People threw things at me; some of the women even ran out of the room in horror.
Commander Skywalker shook his head and declared, “Wes Janson, you’re a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios.”
I didn’t even know what that meant at the time. Later on I found out that fruit loops and cheerios are popular breakfast cereals on Tatooine. But I didn’t care. I gladly took on the mantle of Fruit Loop and continued on my quest to spread mirth and merriment throughout the Rebel Alliance.
Wedge Antilles was the second CO to say it to me.
It may be an understatement to say that I grew fond of the Ewoks during my short time on Endor after we won that battle. How could you not? They’re such fluffy little creatures and all they want is give you a hug and love you-when they’re not pointing spears at you, that is. I developed a fondness for those cute little teddy bears, and while dancing in a circle with a dozen of ‘em during the victory celebration, Commander Antilles shook his head and declared, “Janson, you really are a fruit loop.”
I smiled at him and cheered, “Yub Yub, Commander!”
Inyri Forge was the first woman to say it to me.
I had finally convinced her to go out on a date with me. I don’t know why she finally accepted, but she did. So I decided to woo her with a fancy evening out on Coruscant during our leave. She looked beautiful and I could hardly contain myself.
I don’t know how, but I convinced her to come back to my apartment for caf. One thing led to another and we ended up in the bedroom. She screamed when I turned on the light and for a brief moment, I thought she realized that she had been kissing me and not her childhood crush, Face Loran. But then I saw her gaping at the stuffed Lieutenant Kettch doll on my bed. She looked at me, dumbfounded, and said, “Sithspit, Wes, you kriffing fruit loop!”
I shrugged sheepishly, and ended up making breakfast for her the next morning anyway.
Anakin Solo was the first kid to say it to me. During one of my stints as a flight instructor on Coruscant, I’d been teaching his sister some flying techniques, not that Jaina needed it-even at 16 the girl could fly circles around me. Before one lesson, I placed the infamous Lieutenant Kettch in her cockpit, and after she screamed and threw the stuffed doll at her brother, who had accompanied her on this lesson, Anakin shook his head and muttered “fruit loop” under his breath. I saluted at him and offered a hearty “Yub Yub!”
Now that little boy is dead, taken away by the Yuuzhan Vong, and many people are saying that we might not win this war. I want to jump on a table and moon all of them and scream “Yub Yub!”
The shrinks and more conservative commanding officers have always told me that my humor is an avoidance technique, and I need to learn to deal with my grief without resulting to jokes.
They’re all full of poodoo. I know how to deal with grief. I’ve deal with grief all my life. I deal with it by myself, alone, and then I go back out into the galaxy armed with Lieutenant Kettch and the title of Fruit Loop, ready to vape unhappiness and depression wherever it lies in wait.
In a galaxy where little boys die far too young, it’s the least I can do.
Title: Yub Yub, Fruit Loop
Author: JediMara77
Character: Wes Janson
Genre: Humor, introspection
For the Humor Me quote challenge:
My quote:
12. I am a fruit loop in a world of cheerios. - unknown
-----------------
I am a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios
Luke Skywalker was my first CO to say that to me.
Us Rogues were hanging out in the mess on Hoth, enjoying one of our rare moments of downtime on the ice planet. Well, trying to enjoy our downtime was more like it. Everyone had something to complain about-the cold, the tauntauns, how long it was taking the speeders to get working, the cold, the lack of booze, the lack of good food, the cold, the lack of women, the cold.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I jumped on top of the table and mooned everyone.
People threw things at me; some of the women even ran out of the room in horror.
Commander Skywalker shook his head and declared, “Wes Janson, you’re a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios.”
I didn’t even know what that meant at the time. Later on I found out that fruit loops and cheerios are popular breakfast cereals on Tatooine. But I didn’t care. I gladly took on the mantle of Fruit Loop and continued on my quest to spread mirth and merriment throughout the Rebel Alliance.
Wedge Antilles was the second CO to say it to me.
It may be an understatement to say that I grew fond of the Ewoks during my short time on Endor after we won that battle. How could you not? They’re such fluffy little creatures and all they want is give you a hug and love you-when they’re not pointing spears at you, that is. I developed a fondness for those cute little teddy bears, and while dancing in a circle with a dozen of ‘em during the victory celebration, Commander Antilles shook his head and declared, “Janson, you really are a fruit loop.”
I smiled at him and cheered, “Yub Yub, Commander!”
Inyri Forge was the first woman to say it to me.
I had finally convinced her to go out on a date with me. I don’t know why she finally accepted, but she did. So I decided to woo her with a fancy evening out on Coruscant during our leave. She looked beautiful and I could hardly contain myself.
I don’t know how, but I convinced her to come back to my apartment for caf. One thing led to another and we ended up in the bedroom. She screamed when I turned on the light and for a brief moment, I thought she realized that she had been kissing me and not her childhood crush, Face Loran. But then I saw her gaping at the stuffed Lieutenant Kettch doll on my bed. She looked at me, dumbfounded, and said, “Sithspit, Wes, you kriffing fruit loop!”
I shrugged sheepishly, and ended up making breakfast for her the next morning anyway.
Anakin Solo was the first kid to say it to me. During one of my stints as a flight instructor on Coruscant, I’d been teaching his sister some flying techniques, not that Jaina needed it-even at 16 the girl could fly circles around me. Before one lesson, I placed the infamous Lieutenant Kettch in her cockpit, and after she screamed and threw the stuffed doll at her brother, who had accompanied her on this lesson, Anakin shook his head and muttered “fruit loop” under his breath. I saluted at him and offered a hearty “Yub Yub!”
Now that little boy is dead, taken away by the Yuuzhan Vong, and many people are saying that we might not win this war. I want to jump on a table and moon all of them and scream “Yub Yub!”
The shrinks and more conservative commanding officers have always told me that my humor is an avoidance technique, and I need to learn to deal with my grief without resulting to jokes.
They’re all full of poodoo. I know how to deal with grief. I’ve deal with grief all my life. I deal with it by myself, alone, and then I go back out into the galaxy armed with Lieutenant Kettch and the title of Fruit Loop, ready to vape unhappiness and depression wherever it lies in wait.
In a galaxy where little boys die far too young, it’s the least I can do.