What the Phuket, Lost?!?!
Finally got around to watching last week's LOST, and it was heartbeaking in it's awkwardness.
Was there a slutty exotic Asian stereotype that Lost DIDN'T use this episode? When she hammered the tattoo onto Jack's arm, I almost expected there to be a GONG sound. Bai Ling plays this ethnically Chinese salty Thai chick who slobbers all over Jack the doctor, an American tourist in Phuket. Throughout the episode, she coos at him in broken English, feeds him octopus (how exotic) and is generally very horny with the shoving of tongues down his throat and bounding across the scenery in scant amounts of clothing.
And then Jack was like, "WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?"
And Bai Ling was like, "I MARK PEE-POLES."
And then he was like OMG I WANT A RANDOM TATTOO IN A LANGUAGE I DON'T UNDERSTAND. [Which always works out so well] So he shoves the 80 pound woman into a wall and is all like ARGH. And she was like BUT IT'S A SECRET OF MY PEE-POLE! But Jack was like apeshit crazy so he physically assaulted her and forced her to give him a tattoo anyway. So she tattoos his true nature on his skin OMG TATTOO HOOKER, which angers her VILLAGE.
Asshole.
Anyhow, culturally insensitive Jack gets his Traditional Thai Tattoo, which is inexplicably in incorrectly written Chinese. Men who get these tattoos are not allowed to perform oral sex with women. Also, usually the tattoo artist is a male monk. Bai Ling is not a male monk, she is an orange potato sack.
His tattoo isn't even written correctly. It says 鹰击長空 when it should say 鹰繫長空. I could barely read it.
Dude, if someone slammed me against the wall and then demanded I tattoo something on his arm in Chinese, I'd probably tattoo "You're a douchebag" or 大傻屄 on his arm. Not communist propaganda.
- Me Ugh. I don't like Bai Ling.
Ken: Why not?
Me: She's just kind of a crappy actress, and she is most famous for attending red carpet events wearing skimpy clothes.
Ken: You've gotta be famous for something.
Me: Just watch.
...
Ken: She's a skanky anorexic lady.
Me: Well, I don't give a fig about her physical appearance. Mostly, she bugs me because she basically embodies every single negative stereotype about Asian women.
...
Me: Okay. Fine. She looks like a bug.
Was there a slutty exotic Asian stereotype that Lost DIDN'T use this episode? When she hammered the tattoo onto Jack's arm, I almost expected there to be a GONG sound. Bai Ling plays this ethnically Chinese salty Thai chick who slobbers all over Jack the doctor, an American tourist in Phuket. Throughout the episode, she coos at him in broken English, feeds him octopus (how exotic) and is generally very horny with the shoving of tongues down his throat and bounding across the scenery in scant amounts of clothing.
And then Jack was like, "WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?"
And Bai Ling was like, "I MARK PEE-POLES."
And then he was like OMG I WANT A RANDOM TATTOO IN A LANGUAGE I DON'T UNDERSTAND. [Which always works out so well] So he shoves the 80 pound woman into a wall and is all like ARGH. And she was like BUT IT'S A SECRET OF MY PEE-POLE! But Jack was like apeshit crazy so he physically assaulted her and forced her to give him a tattoo anyway. So she tattoos his true nature on his skin OMG TATTOO HOOKER, which angers her VILLAGE.
Asshole.
Anyhow, culturally insensitive Jack gets his Traditional Thai Tattoo, which is inexplicably in incorrectly written Chinese. Men who get these tattoos are not allowed to perform oral sex with women. Also, usually the tattoo artist is a male monk. Bai Ling is not a male monk, she is an orange potato sack.
His tattoo isn't even written correctly. It says 鹰击長空 when it should say 鹰繫長空. I could barely read it.
- Other: Your tattoo says "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us."
Jack: That's what they say. That's not what they mean.
Me: THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY SAY!!!
Dude, if someone slammed me against the wall and then demanded I tattoo something on his arm in Chinese, I'd probably tattoo "You're a douchebag" or 大傻屄 on his arm. Not communist propaganda.