Fic: Cooking for Dummies (R)
Title: Cooking for Dummies
Pairing: Jensen/Jeff
Rating: R for cuss words
Disclaimer: Hanging with D-List celebs in Kolkata does not leave much time to hang with A-list celebs in Hollywood. Aka, this is fiction people.
Summary: Jensen was going to kill Kane
Jensen stared in horror around him. This was supposed to be *easy* dammit! Kane had promised that this was something his nephew could do in his sleep. Now there was a mess all over the place, the dogs were glaring at him from outside the kitchen because he'd yelled at them and he'd lost his place in the chicken scratch that almost passes for Kane's writing.
“Fuck!” he snapped, as he smelled burning and turned to find that one of the pans he'd managed to empty was still on the stove and he'd forgotten to turn off the burner. “oh God, fuck damn!” he snapped as he grabbed the handle only to let it go immediately because fuck if it wasn't hot. It clattered to the floor and the dogs backed up a few more paces and then gave him mournful eyes.
“I know, I'm sorry,” Jensen said, wincing as he flexed his hand. It hurt, and this was supposed to be a surprise and now, now he was planning to kill Kane.
“Jensen?”
Jensen turned and found Jeff staring at him like he'd grown two heads. He'd been hoping he could at least get some of this cleaned up first... “Surprise?”
Jeff went around the disaster on the floor and took Jensen's hand in his. “What happened?”
Jensen opened his mouth and then shut it. “I was trying to surprise you. You're always cooking and I know you'd been stressed out about this new series. Thought I could at least make dinner.”
Jeff led him over to the sink and started to soak Jensen's hand under cold water. “Stay there,” he said. He went over to one of the kitchen windows where he was growing herbs and plucked off a spiny cactus type plant and brought it over. “Here, gimme your hand,” he said and rubbed the plant over Jensen's palm. Jensen had to admit it felt a lot better than it had.
“Now,” Jeff said, after he'd turned off all the burners and picked up the pan. Jensen cringed as he saw the black on the pans and the smell. That couldn't be good. “what the fuck, Jensen?”
This wasn't going at all like he'd planned. “It's all...fuck this isn't going at all right.” Jensen scrubbed a hand over his forehead and winced as it was the one that had been burned. “You, Jared, CK, Steve, you all cook, right? And I'm always taking advantage because I can't boil water without burning it.” He swept his good hand over the kitchen. “CK offered me this recipe that he said was simple, easy enough that even I could it. Fucker lied because there's like 30 steps and they all have to be done at the same time and--” he cut himself off and made himself get back on topic. “I wanted to at least make you a dinner that didn't come out of a container.”
Jeff looked around and Jensen could see he was trying hard not to smile. Jensen punched him in the shoulder. “See if I do that again.”
Jeff nodded, “Best idea you've had all night.”
Pairing: Jensen/Jeff
Rating: R for cuss words
Disclaimer: Hanging with D-List celebs in Kolkata does not leave much time to hang with A-list celebs in Hollywood. Aka, this is fiction people.
Summary: Jensen was going to kill Kane
Jensen stared in horror around him. This was supposed to be *easy* dammit! Kane had promised that this was something his nephew could do in his sleep. Now there was a mess all over the place, the dogs were glaring at him from outside the kitchen because he'd yelled at them and he'd lost his place in the chicken scratch that almost passes for Kane's writing.
“Fuck!” he snapped, as he smelled burning and turned to find that one of the pans he'd managed to empty was still on the stove and he'd forgotten to turn off the burner. “oh God, fuck damn!” he snapped as he grabbed the handle only to let it go immediately because fuck if it wasn't hot. It clattered to the floor and the dogs backed up a few more paces and then gave him mournful eyes.
“I know, I'm sorry,” Jensen said, wincing as he flexed his hand. It hurt, and this was supposed to be a surprise and now, now he was planning to kill Kane.
“Jensen?”
Jensen turned and found Jeff staring at him like he'd grown two heads. He'd been hoping he could at least get some of this cleaned up first... “Surprise?”
Jeff went around the disaster on the floor and took Jensen's hand in his. “What happened?”
Jensen opened his mouth and then shut it. “I was trying to surprise you. You're always cooking and I know you'd been stressed out about this new series. Thought I could at least make dinner.”
Jeff led him over to the sink and started to soak Jensen's hand under cold water. “Stay there,” he said. He went over to one of the kitchen windows where he was growing herbs and plucked off a spiny cactus type plant and brought it over. “Here, gimme your hand,” he said and rubbed the plant over Jensen's palm. Jensen had to admit it felt a lot better than it had.
“Now,” Jeff said, after he'd turned off all the burners and picked up the pan. Jensen cringed as he saw the black on the pans and the smell. That couldn't be good. “what the fuck, Jensen?”
This wasn't going at all like he'd planned. “It's all...fuck this isn't going at all right.” Jensen scrubbed a hand over his forehead and winced as it was the one that had been burned. “You, Jared, CK, Steve, you all cook, right? And I'm always taking advantage because I can't boil water without burning it.” He swept his good hand over the kitchen. “CK offered me this recipe that he said was simple, easy enough that even I could it. Fucker lied because there's like 30 steps and they all have to be done at the same time and--” he cut himself off and made himself get back on topic. “I wanted to at least make you a dinner that didn't come out of a container.”
Jeff looked around and Jensen could see he was trying hard not to smile. Jensen punched him in the shoulder. “See if I do that again.”
Jeff nodded, “Best idea you've had all night.”